Dear Anthony:

I appreciate the gesture, but I do not remember you. Nevertheless, thanks.

We will certainly pray for you. But, you need a slap upside the head.

Since you probably know me as a blunt person, I am about to be blunt in response to your post as I believe that is what is required.

What you are suffering from mostly is pride in at least three ways.

First: for some reason you feel that your personal interpretations of the Bible outrank the official interpretations of the Church -- 2000 years of wisdom, Holy Spirit inspiration and direction, and scholarship. That is quite a feat.

The Bible teaches us several things about this:

(2 Peter 1:20)  First of all you must understand this, that no prophecy of scripture is a matter of one's own interpretation,

While our first Pope is referring specifically to prophecy, he gives us a general principle that is repeated in other Scriptures that we, as individuals, cannot interpret on our own.

The Ignatius Study Bible Commentary says of this passage:

Some contend that every believer who possesses the Spirit is automatically qualified for the task [of interpretation], but no such teaching can be found in the New Testament. On the contrary, we learn from other passages that the Spirit guides the Church into all truth through her apostolic leaders and their successors (John 14:26; 16:13), who serve as teachers and guardians of the Christian faith (1 Timothy 6:20; 2 Timothy 1:14; 2:2).

In fact, the Bible specifically and directly tells us that it is the Church that is the pillar of truth, not the Bible. St. Paul states:

(1 Timothy 3:14-15)  I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these instructions to you so that, if I am delayed, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and bulwark of the truth.

Here St. Paul, who is an apostle and the bearer of the Word of God, the writer of much of the New Testament, tells us that if he if not there to teach and interpret for the people, to look to the Church -- the Pillar and Bulwark of the Truth.

We also learn that not every teaching is in the Bible:

(John 21:25)  But there are also many other things which Jesus did; were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.

We also learn from the Bible that we are to look to more than the Bible for the faith, that Tradition is to be followed too. Tradition comes from the Church.

(2 Thessalonians 2:15)  So then, brethren, stand firm and hold to the traditions which you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by letter.

Jesus himself tells us that we must obey the Magisterium, even when the Magisterium are a bunch of hypocrites:

(Matthew 23:1-3)  Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples, "The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat; so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice.

Moses' Seat, or the Chair of Moses, was the "chair" of authority for the Mosaic Covenant. Moses and his successors were Popes of that covenant. Jesus fulfilled the Mosaic Covenant and ushered in a New Covenant. With a New Covenant came a new chair of authority -- the Chair of Peter. St. Peter was made the Prime Minister of the King, who is Jesus. Jesus made Peter the Pope in Matthew 16, proven by Jesus quoting from Isaiah 22:21-23 (which is about the succession of the office of Prime Minister) when he appointed Peter.

St. Athanasius in A.D. 360 said:

...let us note that the very tradition, teaching, and faith of the Catholic Church from the beginning, which the Lord gave, was preached by the Apostles, and was preserved by the Fathers. On this was the Church founded; and if anyone departs from this, he neither is nor any longer ought to be called a Christian.... (Four Letters to Serapion of Thmius, 1,28)

God says you are to defer to the Church for interpretation of His Word. Do it.

Second: you seem to think that because you are having a faith crisis that the problem is the Church, and not you. That is rather narcissistic and certainly arrogant. A 2000 year old Church, founded by Jesus personally, is somehow wrong, but puny you have the answer? This is the same arrogance as Martin Luther who said when he was confronted as to why he added the word "alone" to Romans 3:28 on his own authority:

If your Papist annoys you with the word ('alone'), tell him straightway, Dr. Martin Luther will have it so:  Papist and ass are one and the same thing.  Whoever will not have my translation, let him give it the go-by: the devil's thanks to him who censures it without my will and knowledge.  Luther will have it so, and he is a doctor above all the doctors in Popedom."  (Amic. Discussion, 1, 127,'The Facts About Luther,' O'Hare, TAN Books, 1987, p. 201.)

Thus, is the result of private and personal interpretation -- a revolt of "I shall not serve (the Pope), something Lucifer said to God, with the consequences of some 30,000 non-Catholic sects all spouting the "truth" but contradicting one another.

It is the Catholic Church and the Catholic Church alone that was established by Christ with Peter as the first Pope, and who hold the fullness of the Faith.

To leave the Church is to leave Jesus and His Church. To leave Jesus and His Church, you risk your soul.

Anthony, the problem is not the Church. The problems is you and you alone.

Third: to be more specific, you express the pride that because you are not "successful" in the faith that something must be wrong with the Church. Your failure = Church wrong. What arrogance. Maybe it is just your failures.

But, this bit of pride is the pride of scrupulosity. Anthony, everyone fails to live the faith as they ought. This is why we have the Sacrament of Confession. God understands that we will fail. He loves us so much that He provided us with the Sacrament to restore us to His friendship. And you want to spit in God's face and tell Him that you are such a failure that you must leave His Church?

I can probably guarantee you that I am more a failure that you will ever be. But, as Mother Teresa said, "God does not expect us to be successful, only faithful." That is what keeps me going.

Mother Teresa spent her life doubting whether or not God was real, whether the Eucharist was God or a cookie, yet she persevered until the end. That is what makes a saint, perseverance.

There is no failure from which God cannot save you. If you fail ten times a day, then ask God's forgiveness ten times a day. If you need to go to confession weekly, even to confess the same sin over and over and over, then do it.

You want to get out of this funk, then follow these steps. Follow these steps even if you do not feel like it, even if you feel like a hypocrite doing it, even if it seems it is not working. Persevere through this time. Persevere in these steps over the long haul:

1) Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom:

Our Heavenly Father, as a perfect father, wants his children to experience the freedom that can only come from knowing the Truth, the deliverance that frees us from bondages, and the holiness that brings us victory in Christ in our lives and to the perfection to which we are all called. The first and critical step to attain this freedom, deliverance, and holiness is to resign ourselves to the will of God. All the other steps are methods to accomplish this Resignation to the Will of God and to the pursuit of perfection.

Of all the psychological factors that play a part in our spiritual life, a prominent place must be given to the sincere desire for attaining perfection. It is said that when St. Thomas Aquinas was asked by one of his sisters what she should do to reach sanctity, he answered her in one brief sentence: “Will it.”

The desire for perfection is an act of the will, under the influence of grace, which aspires unceasingly to spiritual growth until one reaches sanctity. It is under the influence of grace because such a desire is manifestly supernatural and surpasses the exigencies and tendencies of pure nature. It must be constant in its aspiration for ever greater perfection, and it must not stop at any intermediate degree but must aspire to the heights of sanctity.

Sanctity is the supreme good we can attain in this life. By its very nature it is something infinitely desirable, but since it is also an arduous and difficult good, it is impossible to tend toward it efficaciously without the strong impulse of a will that is determined to attain it at any cost. St. Teresa of Avila considers it of decisive importance “to have a great and very determined resolve not to stop until one reaches it,” without reckoning the difficulties along the way, the criticism of those around us, the lack of health, or the disdain of the world. Therefore, only resolute and energetic souls, with the help of divine grace, will scale the heights of perfection.

We offer a meditation and prayers to help you find this resignation and abandonment to God that will lead you to freedom.


2) Sacrament of Confession:

This Sacrament is the way to be properly disposed and to be reconciled to God and His Church. A soul in a State of Grace receives the fullness of God's grace to persevere in the faith, to practice the faith, to avoid temptation, and to live above sin and despair. One should never be embarrassed to seek Confession, even if one must go to confession every week to confess the same sin over and over.

We can make a good confession. When we enter the confessional we bring to our Lord the sins we have committed up to that moment, not the sins that we may commit in the future. Even if we are relatively sure we may sin again within hours of receiving absolution, we can still make a good confession.

A good confession requires the penitent to perform five actions:
(1) Examination of Conscience (admitting to our sins and not holding anything back) (CCC 1456)
(2) Contrition (sorrow for having offended God) also called repentance (CCC 1451-1454)
(3) Firm purpose of amendment (a resolution and intention to not sin again) (CCC 1451)
(4) Confession of our all sins since last Confession (CCC 1455-1458)
(5) Performing assigned penance (CCC 1459-1460)

The step of "firm purpose of amendment" is where many people with habitual sins get confused. We say to ourselves, "How can I genuinely offer a firm purpose of amendment when I know from experience that I will do it again, maybe even hours after confessing?"

We can offer a genuine purpose of amendment. Ask ourselves these questions?

1. at this moment (in the confessional) do I want to stop sinning?
2. at this moment (in the confessional) do I resolve to try to stop sinning, even though I may fail again?
3. at this moment (in the confessional) am I willing to do the things necessary, or at least to try to do the things necessary to avoid sinning
4. am I entering the confessional with the intention to keep sinning, lying to the priest about a being sorry for sins and/or about a firm purpose of amendment (Am I deliberately planning to sin again)?

No one but God knows the future. We actually do not absolutely know that we will sin the same sin again. We may recognize that there is a high probability for sinning that sin again, but we cannot actually know since we cannot know the future.

If we can say "yes" to the first three questions, and "no" to the last question, then we can make a good confession.

If we commit a sin again, even it is just hours after confession, that is a brand new incident of sin. As a new incidence of sin, a new confession is required, thus we go back to Confession at our next opportunity.

Perfect Act of Contrition: It is important to keep our souls in a State of Grace in-between Confessions. We can do that by offering a Perfect Act of Contrition as soon as possible after we sin. When we do this our sin is actually forgiven on the spot immediately and our souls restored to a State of Grace. Doing this, however, comes with a proviso: we must receive the formal Sacrament of Confession at our next opportunity and although we are in a State of Grace we may not receive the Eucharist until we receive the Sacrament of Confession.

God is merciful. He does not want us to remain in a sinful state all week until Saturday Confession. He does not want us to risk our souls to hell because we died before Saturday Confession. Thus, He gives us this opportunity to be forgiven for grave sins right away and thus restored to Grace right away through an Act of Perfect Contrition, even when that Act is offered minutes after our sin.

What is an Act of Perfect Contrition? There are two types of Contrition:

1. Imperfect Contrition is when we are sorry for our sins because we fear going to hell. [CCC 1453]
2. Perfect Contrition is when we are sorry for our sins because we love God and are sorry that we disappointed and displeased Him who is our heavenly daddy. [CCC 1452]

To offer a Perfect Act of Contrition pray this or a similar prayer with the sorrow of displeasing God because you love Him:

3) The Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist:

Our Lord has given us the Sacraments as instruments of His grace. We need to receive the Blessed Sacrament as often as we can, daily if possible, making sure we are properly disposed first.

In those times in which we are not properly disposed we need to be sure to celebrate Mass anyway, just do not receive the Blessed Sacrament. The Sunday obligation and Holy Days of Obligation still apply even if we are not able to receive the Eucharist. It is also prudent to attend Daily Mass even if one cannot receive.

The reason it is beneficial to celebrate Mass even when we are not properly disposed and cannot receive is that the Mass itself gives us a blessing, a grace, and strength. Those suffering from addiction need all the help they can get to cope with and to continue the journey to freedom.


4) Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament:

We need to go before our Lord in the Most Holy Eucharist in Adoration at least one hour per week or more, if possible. Even if the Eucharist is not exposed in one's parish, it does not matter -- go sit in front of the Tabernacle where the Eucharist is reserved.

The Eucharist is like a radioactive substance; it radiates the grace and love of our Lord bathing all who are around with His divine presence.

When in Adoration, tell God your problems and difficulties with this addiction. Then, for at least 20 minutes sit quietly and bathe in the rays of the Son. Sometimes we pray so much that God cannot get a word in edgewise. Just sit there and bathe in our Lord's love and let God speak to you.


5) Daily Prayer:

(a) Petition God: As St. Augustine teaches us: "no one can be continent (meaning self-self-restraint from sin) as in the ability to unless you (God) grant it. For you would surely have granted it if my inner groaning had reached your ears and I with firm faith had cast my cares on you."

St. James tells us that we have not because we ask not, and that we ask and do not have because we ask wrongly (James 4:2b-3). We need to ask for freedom and healing from our lusts and addictions and we need to pray with humility and desire to please God in our members.

(b) Pray the Little Office:
This little volume, called the Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary allows the laity to participate in a small way in the Official Prayer of the Church, the Divine Office. We highly recommend this daily prayer and devotion. If one wishes to participate in other versions of the Divine Office, like the Shorter Christian Prayer or the one-volumes editions of the Office, or the full Divine Office, links to those volumes are found here.

(c) The Rosary:
The Divine Office outranks the Rosary because the Rosary is a personal devotional prayer. The Rosary, however, is the most powerful of the personal devotional prayers. There is no greater intercessor than our Blessed Mother. Indeed, the Rosary is powerful. Even wars have been won due to the Rosary. Christians defeated the invading hordes of Muslims at the the Battle of Lepanto through the power of the Rosary. The Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary on October 7th commemorates this victory and the glorious power of Our Lady's intercessions.

(d) Prayer to the Saints:
Develop a devotion to saints who may assist you in this particular problem. Here is a list of saints who are patrons of all sort of issues.


6) Living a Devotional Life:

In addition to devotion to saints who are patrons concerning of whatever problems we are having, it is also critically important to live an overall good devotional Catholic life. One needs to be a good, loyal, obedient, and devout Catholic always continuing to grow in faith and in intimacy with God.

(a) Resources to help in the devotional life: We highly recommend the following books:
Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales
12 Steps to Holiness and Salvation by St. Alphonsus Liguori
Back to Virtue: Traditional Moral Wisdom for Modern Moral Confusion by Peter Kreeft

(b) Spiritual Director to assist in growing the Christ-Life:
To help in growing into the Christ-Life a Spiritual Director is advised. We recommend each person buy the book by Father Thomas Dubay, Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within. Father teaches us the definition of spiritual direction, what to look for in a spiritual direction, and what to do if a director cannot be found.

7) Spiritual Warfare Prayers:

St. Peter, our first Pope, teaches us, "Be sober, be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experience of suffering is required of your brotherhood throughout the world." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

St. James gives similar advice, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7)

That resistance begins by putting on the Armor of God. Each day when we awake, we dress before leaving the house for work and errands. If we didn't we would be vulnerable and arrested. We also need to put on our spiritual clothes. St. Paul explains (Ephesians 6:10-18):

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the equipment of the gospel of peace; besides all these, taking the shield of faith, with which you can quench all the flaming darts of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance...

Keep sober and alert for the schemes of the devil for he is looking to trap you. Put on the Armor of God to protect you against the flaming arrows of the Enemy. Pray spiritual warfare prayers. Remember that "though we live in the world we are not carrying on a worldly war, for the weapons of our warfare are not worldly but have divine power to destroy strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:3-4).

Here is a prayer to put on the Armor of God:

I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might (Eph. 6:10). I put no confidence in the flesh (Phil. 3:3) for the weapons of warfare are not of the flesh (2 Cor. 10:4). I put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20), and I resolve to stand firm in my faith and to resist the evil one. (Ja. 4:7).

I now “put on God’s armor so as to be able to resist the devil’s tactics.” I stand my ground “with truth buckled around my waist, and integrity for a breastplate…” I carry the “shield of faith” to “put out the burning arrows of the evil one…” I accept “salvation from God to be my helmet and receive the word of God from the Spirit to use as a sword.” (Eph 6:10, 11, 14, 17) Amen.

Lord Jesus Christ, I belong only to you from now on. I want to be free from the dominion of darkness and the rule of Satan, and I want to enter the Kingdom and be part of your people. I will turn away from all sin, and I will avoid everything that leads me to sin and wrongdoing. I thank you for your forgiveness of my sins. Come into my heart as my Savior and Lord. I offer my life to you, and I promise to obey you as my Lord and Master. I ask you to fill me with your Holy Spirit. Amen.

In addition, just in case there is a spirit of some sort influencing you faith crisis, pray this prayer:

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of His name, I ask of the heavenly Father to rebuke this spirit of   [list the attribute of the spirit such as doubt, despair, depression, confusion, or whatever, etc] and to command it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to depart from me, now, quietly, without harm to anyone.

I bring the power and the protection of the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ over my life. Satan has no part with me as I am sealed with the saving blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for not being all I should be in Your eyes. Let the cleansing, healing waters of my baptism wash over this me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.

Lord Jesus Christ, fill me with Your [list the opposite attribute of the offending spirit; if doubt, then list assurance, if despair, the list hope, if depression, then list joy, if confusion, then list clarity etc] to replace the [list again the attribute of the spirit such as doubt, despair, depression, etc] .

Lord Jesus, bring to bear my guardian angel, and all the angels of heaven, against the forces of evil that seek to cause trouble for me.

Saint Michael, be my protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and our Mother, pray for me that I may not fall into the devil’s temptations.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for setting me free. I praise You, I bless You, I worship You. Thank You for the wisdom and light of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You for enabling me to be aggressive against the works of the enemy. Thank You for Your hope, that takes away discouragement; thank You for ongoing victory. “…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37). Amen.

And finally, since you are doubt some Catholic teachings I want you to pray this prayer of Doctrinal Affirmation regularly. And again, do this even it you doubt it some parts of it, or don't feel like it, or whatever:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, † and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

I, ______________________________, do hereby declare and affirm my Christian faith in these following Doctrinal Affirmations:

I recognize that there is only one true and living God (Ex. 20:2, 3) who exists as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and that He is worthy of all honor, praise, and glory as the Creator, Sustainer, and the Beginning and End of all things (Rev. 4:11; 5:9, 10; Isa 43:1, 7, 21)

I recognize Christ as the Messiah, the Word who became flesh and dwelt among us (Jn 1: 1,14). I believe that He came to redeem mankind, to offer us a way to freedom from darkness through salvation by the merits of His work on the Cross. I believe that in Christ all works of Satan are destroyed (1 Jn 3:8), that He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public display of them, having triumphed over them (Col 2:15).

I believe that God has proven His love for me because when I was still a sinner, Christ died for me (Rom 5:8). I believe that He delivered me from the domain of darkness and transferred me to His kingdom, and in Him I have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Col. 1:13, 14).

I believe that I am a child of God (1 Jn. 3:103) and that I am seated with Christ in the heavenlies (Eph. 2:6). I believe that I was saved by the grace of God through faith, that is was a gift and not the result of my own efforts or merits (Eph 2:8).

I choose to be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might (Eph 6:10). I put no confidence in the flesh (Phil 3:3) for the weapons of warfare are not of the flesh (2 Cor. 10:4). I put on the whole armor of God (Eph. 6:10-20), and I resolve to stand firm in my faith and to resist the evil one.

I believe that Jesus Christ has all authority in heaven and on earth (Matt 28:18) and that He is the head over all rule and authority (Col 2:10). I believe that Satan and his demons and wicked spirits are subject to the Lord Jesus Christ and therefore to me in Christ since I am a member of Christ’s body (Eph 1:19-23).

I believe that apart from Christ I can do nothing (Jn 15:5) so I declare my dependence upon Him.

I choose to abide in Christ in order to bear much fruit and to glorify the Lord (Jn 15:8) and to accomplish the work of sanctification that Christ began in me through the Cross (James 2).

I believe that since I am a member go God’s royal family I have the authority, in the name of Christ Jesus, to ask the Father to command the devil and his minions to leave my presence, as I obey the command to resist the devil (James 4:7).

Therefore I announce to all the universe, of men and of angels, of all creatures great and small, and to the infernal creatures below, that Jesus Christ is my Lord (1 Cor 12:3), and that I reject any counterfeit gifts or works of Satan and his minions in my life.

I believe that the truth will set me free (Jn 8:32) and that walking in the light is the only path of fellowship and freedom (1 Jn 1:7). Therefore, as a royal member of God’s household, I stand against Satan’s deceptions by affirming all the doctrines of the Faith and by taking every thought captive in obedience to Christ (2 Cor 10:5).

I declare that the Bible and the Magisterial Church are the only authoritative standards of our Faith (2 Tim 3:15, 16) and that the Church is the pillar of all Truth (1 Tim 3:15) who guards, teaches, and interprets the Word of God.

I choose to speak the truth in love (Eph 4:15).

I choose to present my body as an instrument of righteousness, a living and holy sacrifice, and thus I renew my mind daily by the living Word of God in order that I may prove that the will of God is good, acceptable, and perfect (Rom 6:13; 12:1, 2).

I ask my heavenly Father to fill me with His Holy Spirit (Eph 5:18), to lead me into all truth (Jn 16:13), and to empower my life that I may live above sin and not carry out the desires of the flesh (Gal 5:16). I crucify the flesh (Gal 5:24) and choose to walk by the Spirit.

In making all these doctrinal affirmations that go deep into the holy doctrines of the Faith, I renounce all selfish goals and choose the ultimate goal of love (1 Tim 1:5). I choose to obey the greatest commandment to love the Lord my God will all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love my neighbor as myself (Matt 22:37-39). Amen.

Anthony, if you do the things I mentioned, follow the steps and pray the prayers, you will overcome this crisis. It may take a while, but you must do these things over time, do not stop and you will find clarity and peace.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary