Dear Anon:

I thank God that the last prayer was satisfactory.

For a prayer of healing and forgiveness for the loved ones of a victim of rape, perhaps this:

Dear Father in heaven, help me. My soul is in despair. My __[wife, daughter, friend]___ has been cruelly attacked and raped (sexually abused) and my heart actually hurts. Help me to comfort my __[wife, daughter, friend]___ and do what is needed for her/him. But I need your help too. I am filled with rage. Help me Lord. Heal my soul. Help me to somehow forgive. Help me to know to real meaning of forgiveness. Help me to forgive and to move on for my own sake, but more importantly so that I may be there for my __[wife, daughter, friend]___. Blessed Mother, if anyone should have rage it is you. Your Son was brutally tortured and killed in front of you. Help me, Mother to know your peace, love, and forgiveness. Show me the way to peace and forgiveness and healing. Show me the way to be a comfort and support for my __[wife, daughter, friend]___. I ask all this with the intercessions of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, Sts. Peter and Paul, Blessed St. Michael the Archangel, Sts Benedict and my Guardian Angel, and Sts Dymphna and Maria Goretti (patronesses of rape victims), and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and holy in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness for the perpetrator is something that the victim and the victim's loved ones must eventually do. This is hard, especially since most people do not understand what forgiveness is.

In our Deliverance Counseling, we teach clients about the true nature of forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is not forgetting: People who try to forget find that cannot. It is an unfortunate quirk of the English language with the phrase, “Forgive and forget”. In actuality this phrase does not mean to “forget” in the sense of not remembering what happened; of course we will remember. God says He will “remember our sins no more” (Heb. 10: 17), but God, being omniscient, obviously cannot literally forget. “Remember no more” means that God will never use the past against us (Ps. 103:12).
   
   To forget is really “to let go”. We need to “let go and let God”. We let go of the past, but more importantly we let go of the hurt. As long as we do not forgive, as long as we do not let go, we allow the offender of our wounds continue to hurt us.
   
2. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling: Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. God will NEVER ask us to do something that is impossible for us to do; that would be cruel and God is a loving God.
   
   Forgiveness, however, is difficult for us because it pulls against our feelings and emotional hurts. Forgiveness is not about forgetting our feelings or our emotional hurts. We often will not “feel” like forgiving, but we must forgive anyway. As the Lord Prayer teaches us, God forgives us “as we forgive others”. But how can God require this of us when we have been hurt so badly?
   
   God does not expect your feelings and emotional hurts to be healed overnight. He knows and understands our feelings and our hurts. He is a compassionate God and will help us to heal over time, as we are able. What God expects of us is not an immediate emotional healing, but a decision of will to forgive, a decision of will to trust Him to take care of the offender and to heal us, a decision of will to ask God for, and to commit to, being healed of our wounds.
   
3. Forgiveness is not letting the person off the hook: Forgiving is about you letting go, but it is not letting the offender off the hook. He will still pay for what he did, either before the Law or before God or both.
   
   Forgiving is surely difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered. But we are told never to take our own revenge (Rom. 12:9). Revenge does more damage to us than it punishes the offender. God’s justice will prevail, no one can escape it. Never fear, those who hurt us will be held accountable, but we must let God deal with it. In order for God to deal with it, we need to let Him deal with it by letting go.
   
   “Why should I let them off the hook?” But doing that is precisely the problem — we are still hooked to them, still bound by our past when we do not forgive.
   
   To forgive does not mean letting the person off the hook; it means letting yourself off the hook.
   
4. But you don't understand how much this person hurt me: The problem is that when we do not forgive we, in essence, allow the person to still hurt us! The question is, “How do we stop the pain?” The answer is to forgive!
   
   It is important to understand that we do not forgive someone for their sake; we do it for our sake so we can be free. Our need to forgive is not an issue between the offender and us; it is between us and God.
   
5. Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another’s sin: Forgiveness is costly. We pay the price of the evil we forgive. We are going to live with those consequences whether we want to or not; our only choice is whether or not we will do so in the slavery of bitterness and unforgiveness or with the freedom of forgiveness.
   
   Jesus took the consequences of our sin upon Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutional because no one really forgives without bearing the consequences of the other person's sin. God the Father “made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Cor. 5:2 1).
   
   Where is the justice? we might ask. It is the Cross that makes forgiveness legally and morally right: “For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all” (Rom. 6: 10). This doesn't mean that we tolerate sin. We must always stand against sin, but we must give the offender to God and get on with our life.
   
6. How do we forgive from our heart? First we acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If our forgiveness does not visit the emotional core of our life, it will be incomplete. Many feel the pain of interpersonal offenses, but they will not acknowledge it. Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where the healing takes place.
   
   Do not wait to forgive until we feel like forgiving; we will never get there. Feelings take time to heal mostly after the choice to forgive is made and Satan has lost his place (Eph. 4:26, 27). Freedom is what will be gained, not a feeling.
   
7. Summary of Points on Forgiveness:
   • Forgiveness is necessary to have fellowship with God.
   • It is not forgetting.
   • It is a choice.
   • The offender is not off God's hook.
   • God says, “Revenge is mine.”
   • Letting the offender off our hook is what frees us.
   • You must acknowledge the hurt and the hate.
   • Forgiveness means we are agreeing to live with the consequences of another's sin — which we have to do anyway.
   • The justice is in the cross.
   • Choice is between the slavery of bitterness or the freedom of forgiveness.
   • Forgiveness means not using the past against the offender.
   • Forgiveness does not mean tolerating the sin or abuse.
   • Why forgive? To stop the pain! As we live in unforgiveness the offender still hurts us!
   • The issue of forgiveness is between you and God only.
   • The act of forgiveness is for the your sake, and for your freedom.

I hope this helps. We are in prayer for all those who are sexually abuse, molested, and raped, for their families, and for the perpetrators. This violence must stop! but in order for it to stop our society must look in its collective mirror to see the disordered attitudes it has about sex, power, relationships, and how we see children, women, and all others. While the perpetrators are solely responsible for their actions, the distorted attitudes of society are the fertile ground from which this violence flourishes. May God help us all and our society to move toward Him and to love each other.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary