Dear Janet:

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad this apostolate has been of help to you.

As to your question, you do not mention whether this person who was "taken away" left your relationship or died. Since I am not sure of which it is, I'll answer from both scenarios.

But, first a word about prayer. There is no such thing as unanswered prayer. God answers our all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is "yes," sometimes "no," sometimes the answer is "later", and sometimes the answer, believe it or not, is "I'll do the best I can."

What I mean by the last answer ("I'll do the best I can") is that God does NOT always get His way. In fact, most of the time God does not get His way. Each time we sin, God does not get His way -- He does not want us to sin.

God has given us free will and the ability to choose, including the ability to ignore His inspirations or even to reject Him. God gives us this ability because He loves us. Thus, He gave us a part of Himself, who is love, the ability to love. Love cannot be forced, however, it must be offered freely. Thus, God gave us another attribute of Himself, to ability to choose.

The sad thing is that with this ability to choose love, we also have the ability to reject love. This is a necessary part of free choice. Satan and one third of the angels chose to reject God. The rest of the angels chose to remain with God. Adam and Eva chose against God and brought original sin into the world. Mary chose in favor of God and became the ark of the New Covenant. Jesus chose obedience, even unto death, and brought redemption to the world.

Each is a choice. God does not force us to love Him or to follow His teachings. Do force us would be to violate love.

Now what all this means in terms of prayer is that if our prayer involved someone besides ourselves making a choice, then even if God has said yes to your prayer, you still may not get it because of the choices made by the other person.

For example, a person could pray, "Lord please speak to the heart of the hiring manager to hire me for this job. You know how much I need the job to feed my family."

God may say "yes" I would like you to have this job so I will inspire the hiring manager to hire you. Yet you do not get hired. Why?

The "Why?" is because while God may have inspired the hiring manager to hire you, the hiring manager still have to make his own decision; he had to make a choice. God will not force the hiring manager to hire you; to do that would be to violate his free will. Thus, if the hiring manager does not respond to God's promptings, you do not get hired; God did not get His way.

Oftentimes our prayers seemed to be unanswered or seem to be answered no when they are not. Rather, it was the free will decisions of others that got in the way, or perhaps consequences of our past that get in to the way.

If I apply for a job that requires that I had a 3.5 grade point average in chemistry in college and I am turned down for the job because my grade point average was 3.0; I cannot expect God to cheat for me and get me the job anyway. We all must suffer the consequences of our own actions. I will just have to seek a job with difference requirements.

Now with all that said, let us examine your situation. I will first answer this with the scenario that your loved-one died.

It is first important to understand that God did not "take your loved-one away from you." He died because of whatever he died of -- car accident, stepping in front of a bus, heart attack, illness, whatever. Illness and death are a normal part of life. God does not zap us or take us away. He allows the nature course of events to happen.

If we asked God to bring us someone and that someone comes into our lives, then we must praise God and cherish each moment we have with that person. If that person dies in short order, or years later, we cherish the time we had and thank God for that time. The departed loved-one will always been in your heart.

God did not zap your loved-one. He did not take him away. Rather the natural course of living just happened. God, however, is there to help us and to comfort us in our time of loss to build our faith and make it stronger.

Now on the other scenario where the loved-one leaves the relationship. The situation is the same as above. God did not give you someone and then take him away.

God may have brought you and this person together in some fashion, but it was yours and his DECISION to actually form a relationship. In similar manner, if this person has left the relationship it is because of his DECISION to do who for whatever reasons. God did not "take him away."

Love is always a risk -- to reach out to someone is always a risk. We risk being hurt. That is the way of it. What can God do about that? Nothing. For Him to jump in and force the couple to stay together what would that be? It would be a couple of robots, not human beings who choose to love each other. God does not force love because love cannot be forced and remain love.

Since God will not force love, we humans can choose to love or not love, to love in a fashion for now, and to "fall out of love" later. That is being human. God's love is never so fickle. His love is permanent, stable, and secure. We can always count on His love for us.

Regardless of whether you loss of this person was from his decision to leave the relationship or was from his death, time is a healer. In time and with your prayers asking God for comfort you will move on and your heart will heal. It may not seem like it right now, but your heart will heal. Just trust in Jesus.

Remember, the heart of Jesus was broken too. "O Jerusalem, O Jerusalem" Jesus lamented as His heart was broken, "killing the prophets and stoning those who are sent to you! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!" (Matt 23:37).

Go to Jesus who knows what it is like to have a heart broken. Go to His Sacred Heart. Develop a devotion to His Sacred Heart and join your broken heart with His.

For a Litany of the Sacred Heart, click here.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary