Dear Jan:

I am sorry to hear about your son. We will certainly be in prayer for his physical recover and his spiritual recovery.

From what you have described you son probably has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It is common among men and women who have been in combat.

For some soldiers the burden of their experiences, plus suffering from PTSD, is overwhelming to them. They often withdraw and become distant from family, friends, and even society in general. Many end up drinking or taking drugs, or fall into deep depression, and a host of other symptoms and problems.

All this stems from the traumatic experience of war. War changes everyone who are in it. There are things in war that no one should ever have to experience. Behind the eyes of your son is an experience that no one can truly understand unless they have been in combat. It is a haunting that usually remains with the soldier for the rest of his life. There are still some surviving soldiers from World War I who to this day will not talk about their experiences.

For myself, I did not undergo PTSD therapy until about 10 years after the war ended in Southeast Asia.

The emotional and spiritual wounds of your son are still fresh. Hopefully, in time, with the help of the VA concerning his PTSD, he can begin to heal and live a normal life. At that time he may return to his faith.

Your job is to continually pray for him and gently encourage him (not nag him). I would advise devotion to St. Monica who prayed continuously for her wayward son. It was only a few months before her death that her son, St. Augustine, finally came to his senses and returned home to the Church.

I know it is hard for a parent to see all this happening, but you must persevere in your prayers.

As to your fear for his soul, only God can truly know the state of his soul, but the Church offers this comfort:

In order for any grave sin (including the grave sin of abandoning the Church, or even rejecting the Christian faith) may not be counted as mortal to the person if there are mitigating circumstances that impair the persons ability to truly make an informed and free choice.

The Catechism teaches us:

1735 Imputability and responsibility for an action can be diminished or even nullified by ignorance, inadvertence, duress, fear, habit, inordinate attachments, and other psychological or social factors.

I think that it is quite clear that your son has some psychological factors (i.e. PTSD) that impair his ability to truly make a free choice. Thus while he acts in ways that seem to risk his soul, God understands that he may not have the a true and free ability to consent to the sin he commits because of the PTSD. God will take that into consideration.

However, we cannot know where the lines are drawn between full culpability and diminished responsibility due to impairments to free mental assent. Thus, we need to continue to pray for him that he may heal from his troubles at least sufficiently enough that he can see his way clear to return to God.

In this, it is always possible that the devil may try to interfere with your son returning to the faith. The devil can try to impair your son even further and make things worse than they have to be. Thus, spiritual warfare prayers are in order, too.

The first prayer I recommend from our Prayer Catalog is the Hedge Prayer for a Wayward Person. This prayer seeks to place a hedge around your son that he will not find any satisfaction no matter where he goes until he comes back home to God and his faith. This can be a hard prayer for a parent, but it is better that he be unhappy and miserable in his wayward state if that will help him to realize that he needs to return home to God and His Church.

Another prayer I recommend in this one:

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

We bow humbly before You, heavenly Father, to pray for our children,     [names of children], and for our whole family. We bring our children and our family before You in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

We thank You, Lord, that You love     [names of children]    and our entire family, with the love of Calvary. We thank You that You have given     [names of children]    to us to love and nurture in Christ.

Accepting our position through You of having "divine power to demolish strongholds" (2 Cor. 10:4) that come into our family, we ask You Father to bring all the work of the Lord Jesus, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of His Name, to focus directly against the powers of darkness that do now or may later bother, influence, and bind     [names of children]    and our family in any way; and specifically against     (name specific areas of troubles or problems).

We pray that You shall bring the victory of our Lord's incarnation, crucifixion, resurrection, Ascension, and glorification directly against all of Satan's power brought against us in our family and specifically in the lives of     [names of children]    . We ask You heavenly Father to bind up all power of darkness set to destroy     [names of children]    , or our family, and we loose     [names of children]    , and this family, from the influence and harassment of Satan and his demons, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

We invite the blessed Holy Spirit to move in hearts of     [names of children]    that they may know the truth as they are able at their age. We invite the blessed Holy Spirit to move in our hearts and to convict us of sin, of righteousness, and of our responsibility as parents to raise     [names of children]    in Your name.

We plead the blood of Christ over     [names of children]    and this family. We claim for us a life yielded to serve the true and living God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Further, we ask our Father in heaven to rebuke and to cast away any evil spirits around     [name of child]     especially the spirit of     [list attribute, such as the spirit of anger, lust, defiance/rebellion, emotional hurt, etc.]     and replace that evil spirit with a sport of     [list the opposite of the evil attribute, such as opposing the evil spirits mentioned above with the spirit of love, purity, obedience, healing]     .

Lord Jesus, bring to bear all the guardian angels of this family, and especially of our child(ren), and all the angels of heaven, against the forces of evil that seek to cause trouble for     [names of children]      and our household..

Saint Michael, be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and our Mother, pray for us that we may not fall into the devil’s temptations.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for setting us free. We praise You, We bless You, We worship You. Thank You for the wisdom and light of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You for enabling us as head of the household to be aggressive against the works of the enemy. Thank You for Your hope, that takes away discouragement; thank You for ongoing victory. "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). Amen.

Amen.

Even though your son is an adult, your son is still part of your household and spiritually you and your husband are still heads of the household and thus have spiritual power as "priests" of the household to pray for your children, even grown children.

There are no guarantees, but there is hope. Persevere in prayer. Pray without ceasing.

God understands your son's heart and the dynamics of his apparent rejection of Him. God is a merciful and loving Father. He understands these things and takes them into account.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary