Dear Rebecca:

I'm sorry to hear about these troubles but the solution seems rather obvious to me. Stop using marijuana. You don't give me any information about your marijuana usage. Do you live in the state where recreational marijuana is allowed? If so, are you self-medicating?

Even if your marijuana is being prescribed by a doctor it may still not be legitimate in my point-of-view. Just as it is with other pain medications doctors often times over-prescribe, prescribe to easily, or even facilitate the improper use of the drug. 

Did your doctor have you go to a pain clinic? Did he try other types of medication first? Or did he go straight for the marijuana? Marijuana should never be a first resort, assuming that it should be prescribed at all.

What you describe certainly sounds like a marijuana induced experience. Perhaps you overdosed yourself. Perhaps the doctor prescribed too high a dosage. Or, perhaps you're having a reaction to it. In any event, it appears to me that you need to stop using  marijuana. Presuming that this marijuana is prescribed by a doctor, you need to discuss this episode with your doctor and perhaps explore other ways of pain management.

As for a demonic element, demons usually hitchhike on problems that already exist. Demons could witness your vulnerability because of the marijuana and decide to exploit that for their own purposes.

Forgive me for saying it this way, but the stupidity of flirting with the new age is asking for demons to attack you. You might as well put a big bull's-eye on your behind.

How can you possibly find a connection to God when you're spitting in God's face by violating the very First Commandment to have no other God but Him. That is what you did with your participation in the occult. To seek out spirit guides is particularly stupid. There you are actually asking demons to come in your life.

I'm glad you took all this to Confession, but that is not the end of it. You are likely, and apparently are, suffering from the consequences of your grave sin. I would suggest that you go through our Seven Steps to Self Deliverance, linked below. You need to not only confess those sins but you need to renounce them, that is, take back the ground that Satan stole from you because of your sin.

As far as the Benedictine metal, it may have been a coincidence in finding it, or it may be a divine appointment. It doesn't really matter. You need to take the hint to remain close to God and to never again spit in his face or walk away from Him.

As for your pain, the "why" is found in the medical diagnosis. There is nothing more than that. Whatever is going on with you medically is what's causing the pain. There's nothing to be confused by this. We live in a fallen world where illness and infirmity is a part of life. It just is. Thus, look to medicine for the reason why you have your diagnosis and the resulting pain.

I do not say these things theoretically. I, too, experience permanent and chronic pain. I'm in pain every single day. I cannot stand at the kitchen counter to butter toast without doubling over in pain. I cannot walk through a grocery store and thus must use a motorized cart. It is extremely difficult to do housework. Recently, because of diabetic neuropathy in my fingers, it is very difficult for me to even type on the keyboard. My answer to you here is being dictated into the computer and the computer is typing the words for me. If I am sitting down the level of my pain tends to be around three and sometimes four. If I am standing up the pain can get to a seven, and depending what I'm doing even to an eight. In this is a permanent and chronic condition which I will experience for the rest of my life.

I do take some pain medication, which helps on some minor issues, but does nothing for the most debilitating of the pain. There is no way that I would use marijuana for this. There is no need to be desperate to alleviate pain.

Pain and suffering is a privilege. It is a great privilege to join one's pain and suffering with the suffering of Christ on the cross, and to lift up that suffering back to God and our Blessed Mother for the salvation of souls.

Thus, instead of being so concerned about alleviating the pain, use that pain and suffering for the glory of God. In this way suffering can actually become a ministry. Romans 8:28 tells us that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose." Thus, this lemon that you and I have in chronic pain can be made into sweet lemonade by God if we let him.

I would also recommend a book by Peter Kreeft called, Making Sense Out Of Suffering. That book will help you to understand the redemptive nature of suffering and thus to make sense of it all.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary