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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Wife suffering from depression? Continued.	Francis	Friday, November 29, 2013
Question: Dear Brother, This is in reference to your answer to my previous question-Wife suffering from depression? date:Wednesday, November 27, 2013. Thank you very much that your trained prayer warriors have started praying for me and wife on a permanent basis. I praise God. I believe God is answering your prayers. May God Bless you and your people abundantly. As for the nature and content of her "visions" and other alleged "gift.", I could say the following. 1.She is seen praying most of the time, especially in the night. She spends long hours in night for prayer. In the morning she sleeps, and hence she is not able to avail her to family and children. Attention deficiency is seen in every thing. There no warmth in her dealing with the family and friends. She connects every thing to God [It should be so, but for us seeing her doing like this, make us feel like resistant to God and Prayer. It does not not mean that we hate God and we do not pray]. She likes to spend time in a secluded place for praying. She shows up a face of a devotee always -meaning no humour. 2.She says that she has been given all supernatural gifts of Holy Spirit and no body is using her, so it would be better meeting Pentecostals or evangelicals. 3.She is saying that God is giving her prophecies for our Major Archbishop Cardinal Cleemis. She says , she has to meet him in person and prophecy in front of him. 4.When she talks about the family and all she is in fact sincere in all counts. But her way connecting them to spirituality creates trouble. She cannot talk without mentioning to God. Most of the time the principles [especially the ones related to demons, curses, spell etc.] she pronounces are matching with non-Christians especially Hindus. 5.She is always complaining about her superiors in work place. She always calls me a selfish man. She accuses children for any thing. 6.She says that God is asking her to be pure and keep away from even legitimate sex, also He is intending to give her stigmata. A couple or more times she believed that she is on the verge of receiving stigmata, showing an accidental wound on his leg as part of stigmata. 7.What ever she say as messages from heaven, I understand it as her subconscious mind talking. 8.Her reluctance to trying to have sleep in the night, reluctance to take medicine saying the lord will heal every thing including her mental illness brings in a lot of trouble. 9.She is very much interested in attending Holy Mass, in the efforts she takes for attending masses she can ignore her children and her needs without any difficulty. Let me state on thing. Lord is answering your prayers for me and my wife. Yesterday was a visibly better day compared to other days. I believe God heals her. The issue before me is how shall I convince her of taking medicine or treatment for her illness. I pray the prayers suggested by you. My eldest son is gone for seminary for catholic priesthood, it underlines the gravity of the situation. I have to do something about this urgently. I believe the information given above is sufficient for you to give me an answer/guideline. Your in Christ Francis
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC Dear Francis: I see several problematic markers in your list of your wife's behaviors. 1. God never calls anyone to prayer, or to anything else, that will neglect the family. It is possible to pray too much, or to do too much church work. We know when it is too much when doing such activities neglects the family. God is rather insistent upon this as seen in the words of St. Paul to St. Timothy: (1 Tim 5:8) "But if any man have not care of his own and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel." Those are harsh words, which means that God absolutely forbids us to do anything that neglects our obligations and responsibilities to our family. Your wife's first vocation is being a wife. Her second vocation is to be a mother. Anything else, including extensive prayer or church work, comes after her obligations to spouse and children. The fact that your wife is praying to the point of neglecting her family tells me that her calling to prayer is either not from God, or may be from God, but misinterpreted and exaggerated by her. 2. There is no such thing as any one person having all the supernatural charism gifts of the Holy Spirit. We do have all seven gifts of the Holy Spirit listed in Isaiah 11:1-2. We receive these gifts at baptism as without them we could not live the Christian life, but the charism gifts St. Paul talks about are not all found in one person. The Scripture makes this clear: (1 Cor 12:4-11) Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are inspired by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills. It is a theological and biblical error on the part of Pentecostals who suggest that we all have every charism gift. Your wife needs to be Catholic, not Pentecostal. Also, charism gifts re not private gifts. Their purpose is to build-up the Church. Any gift that is private is not a charism gift (see Charism Gifts Building Up the Church). 3. If she has actually been given a prophecy for the Cardinal, then she should tell him. Given all the information you have outlined I sincerely doubt she is receiving genuine information from God to give to the Cardinal. Again, I would have to know the details of the so-called "prophecies" to say any more. But, if she believe this, then she should make an appointment with the Cardinal. She should be prepared to be disappointed. 4. It sounds like here that she is expressing super-religiosity. This is a symptom of one out-of-balance at best, or mental illness at worse. If I understand you correctly, your wife is expressing views about spirituality/demonology that are non-Christian or even Hindu. This, of course, cannot be anything coming from God and is a sign of confusion that may indeed be part of her mental illness. 5. While making appropriate feedback is healthy what you are describing is an accusatory personality. Satan is called "the accuser." This is contrary to the Christ-life. 6. This item is a slam dunk. There is no way that God is calling her to be chaste in perfect continence (no sex at all) within her marriage. This is either her mental illness or the devil, or both, inspiring this notion. St. Paul tells us: (1 Cor 7:3-5) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control. Notice that abstinence is okay by mutual agreement and for a short period of time so that both of you may devote some time to prayer. As for stigmata, one must be very holy for this gift. According to your description in this list, there is no way she has the gift of stigmata. Her views and behaviors are contrary to how a holy person would think and act. 7. I agree. These "messages" do not have a supernatural source in my opinion. Anyone who claims to be receiving messages, as I mentioned in the last post, needs to be under spiritual direction. If she refuses spiritual direction, or refuses the advice of a spiritual director that will be a strong sign that her "messages" are not from God. 8. Her reluctance to proper sleep and to take medication is a sign of psychological problems or even mental illness. 9. As mentioned above, anyone doing anything that neglects the family is wrong and the activity is not being suggested or called by God. While it is nice to attend daily Mass, we are required only to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. To go to Mass more frequently is good and proper only if it does not interfere or neglect her vocation as wife and mother. As for getting your wife to take meds and practice good spiritual hygiene, you cannot force her. You can ask her, advise her, encourage her, support her in making the right decisions about these things, but you cannot force it. It is also counterproductive in most cases to nag a person to do the right thing. You will need offer up your suffering for the healing of your wife, or at least for her to be better about making the right decisions. You must accept what is. God may not heal her. If he doesn't there will be a reason that you may never know. Thus, you must resign yourself to whatever God's will may be. We have a brochure on this that we give to our clients in deliverance counseling entitled, Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom that can be very helpful. We will continue to prayer for her, you, and the whole family. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary P.S. If you need further advice, you can make an appointment to talk with me on the phone. If you wish that, go here to make that appointment. For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Wife suffering from depression? Continued.

Francis

Friday, November 29, 2013

Question:

Dear Brother,

This is in reference to your answer to my previous question-Wife suffering from depression? date:Wednesday, November 27, 2013.

Thank you very much that your trained prayer warriors have started praying for me and wife on a permanent basis. I praise God. I believe God is answering your prayers. May God Bless you and your people abundantly.

As for the nature and content of her "visions" and other alleged "gift.", I could say the following.

1.She is seen praying most of the time, especially in the night. She spends long hours in night for prayer. In the morning she sleeps, and hence she is not able to avail her to family and children. Attention deficiency is seen in every thing. There no warmth in her dealing with the family and friends. She connects every thing to God [It should be so, but for us seeing her doing like this, make us feel like resistant to God and Prayer. It does not not mean that we hate God and we do not pray]. She likes to spend time in a secluded place for praying. She shows up a face of a devotee always -meaning no humour.

2.She says that she has been given all supernatural gifts of Holy Spirit and no body is using her, so it would be better meeting Pentecostals or evangelicals.

3.She is saying that God is giving her prophecies for our Major Archbishop Cardinal Cleemis. She says , she has to meet him in person and prophecy in front of him.

4.When she talks about the family and all she is in fact sincere in all counts. But her way connecting them to spirituality creates trouble. She cannot talk without mentioning to God. Most of the time the principles [especially the ones related to demons, curses, spell etc.] she pronounces are matching with non-Christians especially Hindus.

5.She is always complaining about her superiors in work place. She always calls me a selfish man. She accuses children for any thing.

6.She says that God is asking her to be pure and keep away from even legitimate sex, also He is intending to give her stigmata. A couple or more times she believed that she is on the verge of receiving stigmata, showing an accidental wound on his leg as part of stigmata.

7.What ever she say as messages from heaven, I understand it as her subconscious mind talking.

8.Her reluctance to trying to have sleep in the night, reluctance to take medicine saying the lord will heal every thing including her mental illness brings in a lot of trouble.

9.She is very much interested in attending Holy Mass, in the efforts she takes for attending masses she can ignore her children and her needs without any difficulty.

Let me state on thing. Lord is answering your prayers for me and my wife. Yesterday was a visibly better day compared to other days.

I believe God heals her. The issue before me is how shall I convince her of taking medicine or treatment for her illness. I pray the prayers suggested by you.

My eldest son is gone for seminary for catholic priesthood, it underlines the gravity of the situation. I have to do something about this urgently.

I believe the information given above is sufficient for you to give me an answer/guideline.

Your in Christ
Francis

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC

Dear Francis:

I see several problematic markers in your list of your wife's behaviors.

1. God never calls anyone to prayer, or to anything else, that will neglect the family. It is possible to pray too much, or to do too much church work. We know when it is too much when doing such activities neglects the family.

God is rather insistent upon this as seen in the words of St. Paul to St. Timothy:

(1 Tim 5:8) "But if any man have not care of his own and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel."

Those are harsh words, which means that God absolutely forbids us to do anything that neglects our obligations and responsibilities to our family.

Your wife's first vocation is being a wife. Her second vocation is to be a mother. Anything else, including extensive prayer or church work, comes after her obligations to spouse and children.

The fact that your wife is praying to the point of neglecting her family tells me that her calling to prayer is either not from God, or may be from God, but misinterpreted and exaggerated by her.

2. There is no such thing as any one person having all the supernatural charism gifts of the Holy Spirit. We do have all seven gifts of the Holy Spirit listed in Isaiah 11:1-2. We receive these gifts at baptism as without them we could not live the Christian life, but the charism gifts St. Paul talks about are not all found in one person. The Scripture makes this clear:

(1 Cor 12:4-11) Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of working, but it is the same God who inspires them all in every one.

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues.

All these are inspired by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

It is a theological and biblical error on the part of Pentecostals who suggest that we all have every charism gift. Your wife needs to be Catholic, not Pentecostal. Also, charism gifts re not private gifts. Their purpose is to build-up the Church. Any gift that is private is not a charism gift (see Charism Gifts Building Up the Church).

3. If she has actually been given a prophecy for the Cardinal, then she should tell him. Given all the information you have outlined I sincerely doubt she is receiving genuine information from God to give to the Cardinal. Again, I would have to know the details of the so-called "prophecies" to say any more. But, if she believe this, then she should make an appointment with the Cardinal. She should be prepared to be disappointed.

4. It sounds like here that she is expressing super-religiosity. This is a symptom of one out-of-balance at best, or mental illness at worse. If I understand you correctly, your wife is expressing views about spirituality/demonology that are non-Christian or even Hindu. This, of course, cannot be anything coming from God and is a sign of confusion that may indeed be part of her mental illness.

5. While making appropriate feedback is healthy what you are describing is an accusatory personality. Satan is called "the accuser." This is contrary to the Christ-life.

6. This item is a slam dunk. There is no way that God is calling her to be chaste in perfect continence (no sex at all) within her marriage. This is either her mental illness or the devil, or both, inspiring this notion. St. Paul tells us:

(1 Cor 7:3-5) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does. Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.

Notice that abstinence is okay by mutual agreement and for a short period of time so that both of you may devote some time to prayer.

As for stigmata, one must be very holy for this gift. According to your description in this list, there is no way she has the gift of stigmata. Her views and behaviors are contrary to how a holy person would think and act.

7. I agree. These "messages" do not have a supernatural source in my opinion. Anyone who claims to be receiving messages, as I mentioned in the last post, needs to be under spiritual direction. If she refuses spiritual direction, or refuses the advice of a spiritual director that will be a strong sign that her "messages" are not from God.

8. Her reluctance to proper sleep and to take medication is a sign of psychological problems or even mental illness.

9. As mentioned above, anyone doing anything that neglects the family is wrong and the activity is not being suggested or called by God. While it is nice to attend daily Mass, we are required only to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. To go to Mass more frequently is good and proper only if it does not interfere or neglect her vocation as wife and mother.

As for getting your wife to take meds and practice good spiritual hygiene, you cannot force her. You can ask her, advise her, encourage her, support her in making the right decisions about these things, but you cannot force it. It is also counterproductive in most cases to nag a person to do the right thing.

You will need offer up your suffering for the healing of your wife, or at least for her to be better about making the right decisions. You must accept what is. God may not heal her. If he doesn't there will be a reason that you may never know. Thus, you must resign yourself to whatever God's will may be. We have a brochure on this that we give to our clients in deliverance counseling entitled, Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom that can be very helpful.

We will continue to prayer for her, you, and the whole family.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

P.S. If you need further advice, you can make an appointment to talk with me on the phone. If you wish that, go here to make that appointment.

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.