Dear Goodspeed:

There are many human conditions that prevent us from doing something we want to do. Some people are infertile, some are not eligible to be a priest, some are not eligible to be married. God is not the author of these disabilities, but Our Lord can bring something good out of our disabilities if we let him.

Artificial insemination (IVF or ICS) is morally evil, a grave sin, and is prohibited by the Church. Couples who are infertile can express their love with adopted children, but they cannot sin to have a child.

The suffering because of infertility may be offered to God for the salvation of souls. God can bring goodness out of this infertility by, for example, leading the couple to share their love with an adopted child. I know several couples who offered their suffering from infertility to God, adopted children, and then found themselves pregnant. Even if that does not happen, an infertile couple may always share their love with a adopted child, or volunteering for Big Brother/Big Sister program, coach Little League, be a Scout leader, be a Sunday School teacher, etc.

Here is the Catechism on this issue:

2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

2374 Couples who discover that they are sterile suffer greatly. "What will you give me," asks Abraham of God, "for I continue childless?" And Rachel cries to her husband Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!"

2375 Research aimed at reducing human sterility is to be encouraged, on condition that it is placed "at the service of the human person, of his inalienable rights, and his true and integral good according to the design and will of God."

2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses' "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children." "Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses' union . . . . Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."

2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."

The virtue of marriage still belongs to an infertile couple. There are two purposes for marriage: 1) procreation; 2) bonding of the couple

The bonding factor is still present with infertile couples. This is way elderly persons may validly marry even though the women is past child-bearing age.

With a young couple, however, there is always the possibility of adoption in order to share their love with children.

Legitimate medical measures may be taken by infertile couples, but they are not to go into sinful methods.

For one thing, infertility treatment usually requires the husband to masturbate to get a sample for testing. This is sin.

In IVF as many 20 babies are created, but only a 3-5 are implanted knowing that most of those babies will die. In a typical IVF procedure around 20 babies die to get one live birth. This is evil.

If a couple is infertile they must accept that as their cross, offer their suffering up to God for the benefit of others, and trust in God for how to spend their married life (which may be to adopt a child or volunteer in areas that help children).

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary