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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Visiting Grave Yards at Night	mariella	Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Question: Dear Bro. You stated somewhere that going to grave yards at night is not a good activity. Well I wanted to know if I was OK in the way I do that very same thing. Lately it has been very hard for me in more then one way. I look at life and all the things that hapens around me and I find that the only place where I can find peace is at the cemetery at night. Now I know this might sound strange to others but to me I find that it tends to clear things up. I find myself surrounded by noise in the world where the most important things in life seems to be put in the background all the time. It becomes hard to see the most important thing in life in your relationship with God. I just find that being in front of dead people brings me closer to God in the sense that it makes me think and meditate of what is the most important thing for my soul. I find that they, the dead, pray for us and teach us now that they are in front of God what is the ultimate truth. All secondary needs seems to fall in the background because the dead speaks louder then the livings about the reality of God and and his commands. often there while i am thinking i see more my sins cause i think of how i would look if i were to appear in front of God right then and there. I find that it forces me to look at myself from a deferent angle. Sometimes i find myself in the confesssional after a visite and see myself forgiving someone with who i had a fight with the previous day. I see more how each person is unique and how i can miss out on an important thing with them that God gave me. The only reason i go at nights it's because i am more calm and more open and less in a defensive position with everything that surrounds me. There is less worldly noises. I just find that being there helps me right now to re-focus my life. I believe that they are praying for me so i might get all the graces i may need right now. Is this wrong? I am losing it or are my motives good for the time being? Mary
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+ Dear Mary: I do not recall saying that going to graveyards at night is not a good thing. I can't imagine why I would say that. If I said something like that it must have been in a context that would warrant the comment. There is nothing bad in-and-of-itself about visiting a graveyard at any time of the day. Graveyards are usually very quiet and serene places that easily facilitate refection and mediation. In addition to that the reason that you give for visiting the graveyard is perfectly fine. Many Christians in the early centuries did exactly what you are doing. It has only been in recent centuries, and especially in the 20th Century, that society has tended to distance itself from the dead. One hundred years ago the typical custom when someone died is to present their body in the parlor (the livingroom) of your house. Death was experienced by the family in an intimate way and not in the sterile and arms-length way we do today. It was in the 1920's, I think, that due to this growing distancing with death that the term "livingroom" was coined. Better Homes and Gardens was publishing in their magazine model rooms that used to be called parlors. The publishers did not like the connection that the term parlor had with death. So they decided to change the name of the room in people's house called the parlor (which was the deathroom when someone died) to a "livingroom". It stuck and that is what we call this room in our house today. There is nothing I can see that is wrong with what you are doing. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Visiting Grave Yards at Night

mariella

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Question:

Dear Bro.

You stated somewhere that going to grave yards at night is not a good activity. Well I wanted to know if I was OK in the way I do that very same thing.

Lately it has been very hard for me in more then one way. I look at life and all the things that hapens around me and I find that the only place where I can find peace is at the cemetery at night.

Now I know this might sound strange to others but to me I find that it tends to clear things up. I find myself surrounded by noise in the world where the most important things in life seems to be put in the background all the time. It becomes hard to see the most important thing in life in your relationship with God.

I just find that being in front of dead people brings me closer to God in the sense that it makes me think and meditate of what is the most important thing for my soul. I find that they, the dead, pray for us and teach us now that they are in front of God what is the ultimate truth. All secondary needs seems to fall in the background because the dead speaks louder then the livings about the reality of God and and his commands.

often there while i am thinking i see more my sins cause i think of how i would look if i were to appear in front of God right then and there. I find that it forces me to look at myself from a deferent angle. Sometimes i find myself in the confesssional after a visite and see myself forgiving someone with who i had a fight with the previous day. I see more how each person is unique and how i can miss out on an important thing with them that God gave me.

The only reason i go at nights it's because i am more calm and more open and less in a defensive position with everything that surrounds me. There is less worldly noises. I just find that being there helps me right now to re-focus my life. I believe that they are praying for me so i might get all the graces i may need right now.

Is this wrong? I am losing it or are my motives good for the time being?

Mary

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+

Dear Mary:

I do not recall saying that going to graveyards at night is not a good thing. I can't imagine why I would say that. If I said something like that it must have been in a context that would warrant the comment.

There is nothing bad in-and-of-itself about visiting a graveyard at any time of the day. Graveyards are usually very quiet and serene places that easily facilitate refection and mediation. In addition to that the reason that you give for visiting the graveyard is perfectly fine.

Many Christians in the early centuries did exactly what you are doing. It has only been in recent centuries, and especially in the 20th Century, that society has tended to distance itself from the dead.

One hundred years ago the typical custom when someone died is to present their body in the parlor (the livingroom) of your house. Death was experienced by the family in an intimate way and not in the sterile and arms-length way we do today.

It was in the 1920's, I think, that due to this growing distancing with death that the term "livingroom" was coined.

Better Homes and Gardens was publishing in their magazine model rooms that used to be called parlors. The publishers did not like the connection that the term parlor had with death. So they decided to change the name of the room in people's house called the parlor (which was the deathroom when someone died) to a "livingroom". It stuck and that is what we call this room in our house today.

There is nothing I can see that is wrong with what you are doing.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.