My father molested me when I was a very young child. I had a fearful and almost non-existing emotional relationship with him. As an adult I hardly ever talked to him, had almost no feelings for him except fear, and I lived ca. 6,000 miles away from him.

He was a Christian all his life, and I stopped my faith as an adult for a very long time. About 25 years ago, when he died as a result of surgery in the hospital, I was sitting on my couch 6,000 miles from him, and at the exact time he died, I felt an incredible wave of warmth, joy, and love (heavenly-beautiful-and gentle), which I had never felt before. I KNEW when I had this otherworldly experience that something significant had happened, and I figured he died at that exact time which was then confirmed to me when I called.

I was very touched by that experience and thought it might have been the love of my father going out to me; the love he never expressed. But then again, it felt heavenly, not worldly.

Was it God uniting us in Godly love? Was it God letting me know that he went to heaven? Was it him free of sin and full of love beyond the greedy love on earth? I sit here crying as I have a deep love and compassion for my poor father, though I hated him for many, many years.