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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
ancestral sins	Lyn	Thursday, January 6, 2011
Question: Dear Brother, Praise God Almighty for you and your apostolate! Like you, I am a convert to the RCC in 1997. Sadly, I was sexually abused as a child from the age of 7 by my father. I never told my mother until I was 16 yrs old, and then she did not believe me. This allows her to stay married to my father, which is what I hoped all along (I was afraid when I was young that if I told my mother that my parents would get divorced). Anyway, I have been to various counselors over the years, and have worked through the book called "Courage to Heal" for survivors. The counselors have been helpful up to a point (they weren't Catholic). I have forgiven my father and have forgiven my mother for not believing me. We celebrate Christmas together. My father is not a psychopath - he was a Christian (Episcopalian - now fallen away). I think the sin of contraception gives people the license to commit all sorts of other sins and this is what happened in my family. My question is actually about the current situation with my father-in-law. He is widowed and has recently married outside the Church to a Catholic divorcee and he continues to serve as a Eucharistic minister and thinks himself to be a devout Catholic. The situation distresses me, and I refused to go up to Communion during Advent when we were visiting and he was the Eucharistic minister. I confessed this to a priest and he told me that it was my obligation to inform my father-in-law that he should regularize his marriage and in the meantime should not be serving as an EMHC. My husband and I decided to present him with our Witness Talk (we are teachers of Natural Family Planning) in which we outline the fact that we waited until marriage to have marital relations and did not marry outside the Church and that we knew that if we had done so, that we would be unable to receive communion. The father-in-law gave no response. What bothers me is that my husband does not see any problem with this marriage. I have prayed the Marriage Prayer from your catalog and am currently working through your 7 steps to Self Deliverance. I love the Sacrament of Penance! I have often gone every week, though now just once a month. Do you think these Spiritual Warfare prayers will be sufficient to break attachment to sin, so that our children will not be infected by such heretical behaviors? We are currently trying to conceive, but I am worried. I have heard that it is better for children not to have been born than to have gone astray from the true Faith. I pray for Our Lady's intercession. Thank you for your response.
Question Answered by Dear Lyn: I am sorry to hear about your past experiences. We will prayer for your continuing healing. Prayer is always sufficient, but you must remember that even God Himself will not force anyone to change their mind or to do what is right. We each have free will to choose the right thing or the wrong thing. It is important for your husband to understand why your father-in-law is risking his soul by living in adultery with this woman. He is not married to her in the sight of God. He is living in sin. Marriage is not a contract. It is a life-long covenant that cannot be broken by anyone, not even the Pope. The only way a previously married person can marry in the Church, or a Catholic marrying a baptized non-Catholic who has a previous marriage, is if the Church declares the previous marriage Null (which means that the marriage was never a true sacramental marriage in the eyes of God in the first place). If the Church denies an annulment petition, then the person must remain unmarried and chaste. If a person is living in sin, then they have no business serving in any capacity of the altar and are barred from receiving communion. If the father-in-law does not immediately stop his volunteering for serving, then the pastor needs to be notified that this man is not qualified to serve as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. Most of these irregular marriages can be regularized. There is no excuse not to ask the Church for what is needed to regularize this marriage. The father-in-law's refusal to do this, if he is refusing, is frankly, idiotic and a major symptom of pride. Such pride risks his soul to hell. Your prayers for your father-in-law have limited effect to break the bondage of his sin because he must be the one to make the break. Your prayers can help to influence him to do the right thing, but only he can decide for his own self. As for you and your children, I recommend praying the Renunciation of Ancestral Sins found in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer catalog linked below. Each generation should pray this pray to be sure to close the door on any demonic attachments that may be passed from generation to generation. As a parent, you have a responsibility before God to protect your children. That means that your children should not be exposed to your father-in-law's adultery. I know this is a hard thing, but the spiritual health of your children are more important than the father-in-law. If you make no mention of his adultery, and do not hold him accountable for his sin, inasmuch as it effects you and your family, then you indulge his adultery and become an accomplice to it. For his own sake, as well as for the sake of your kids, the father-in-law needs to know how serious his sin is. He will see that, deep down, if his access to the grandkids is curtailed, and his wife not acknowledged as his wife. This is the most loving thing you can do for him Hopefully, not indulging his dysfunctional behavior will wake him up someday to the fact that he needs to change and get right with God. In the Spiritual Warfare Catalog is also a Hedge Prayer for a Wayward Person. Your father-in-law, as long as he is in a state of adultery, is not a devout Catholic, is risking his soul to hell, and is in need to return to the Church. As for your husband not believing this, I would ask him when did God die and he become the new god? God says that such an irregular marriage is sin. God's opinion trumps his. He needs to grow up and mortify the pride of his opinions. As of having babies, babies are always a blessing no matter the circumstances of their conception, the the circumstances of their birth. You cannot know if any child will remain with the faith. That possibility exists for all our children, and thus, that potential is not an excuse to avoid having children. On the question as to whether or not you should have another baby, that is a decision you need to discuss with your confessor to see if the situation of a husband deficient in the faith (if that is what he is) is sufficiently serious grounds to practice NFP or to abstain. We will be praying for you, your family, and for your father-in-law. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

ancestral sins

Lyn

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Question:

Dear Brother,

Praise God Almighty for you and your apostolate!

Like you, I am a convert to the RCC in 1997.

Sadly, I was sexually abused as a child from the age of 7 by my father. I never told my mother until I was 16 yrs old, and then she did not believe me. This allows her to stay married to my father, which is what I hoped all along (I was afraid when I was young that if I told my mother that my parents would get divorced). Anyway, I have been to various counselors over the years, and have worked through the book called "Courage to Heal" for survivors. The counselors have been helpful up to a point (they weren't Catholic). I have forgiven my father and have forgiven my mother for not believing me. We celebrate Christmas together. My father is not a psychopath - he was a Christian (Episcopalian - now fallen away). I think the sin of contraception gives people the license to commit all sorts of other sins and this is what happened in my family.

My question is actually about the current situation with my father-in-law. He is widowed and has recently married outside the Church to a Catholic divorcee and he continues to serve as a Eucharistic minister and thinks himself to be a devout Catholic. The situation distresses me, and I refused to go up to Communion during Advent when we were visiting and he was the Eucharistic minister. I confessed this to a priest and he told me that it was my obligation to inform my father-in-law that he should regularize his marriage and in the meantime should not be serving as an EMHC. My husband and I decided to present him with our Witness Talk (we are teachers of Natural Family Planning) in which we outline the fact that we waited until marriage to have marital relations and did not marry outside the Church and that we knew that if we had done so, that we would be unable to receive communion. The father-in-law gave no response. What bothers me is that my husband does not see any problem with this marriage.

I have prayed the Marriage Prayer from your catalog and am currently working through your 7 steps to Self Deliverance. I love the Sacrament of Penance! I have often gone every week, though now just once a month.

Do you think these Spiritual Warfare prayers will be sufficient to break attachment to sin, so that our children will not be infected by such heretical behaviors? We are currently trying to conceive, but I am worried. I have heard that it is better for children not to have been born than to have gone astray from the true Faith. I pray for Our Lady's intercession.

Thank you for your response.

Question Answered by

Dear Lyn:

I am sorry to hear about your past experiences. We will prayer for your continuing healing.

Prayer is always sufficient, but you must remember that even God Himself will not force anyone to change their mind or to do what is right. We each have free will to choose the right thing or the wrong thing.

It is important for your husband to understand why your father-in-law is risking his soul by living in adultery with this woman. He is not married to her in the sight of God. He is living in sin.

Marriage is not a contract. It is a life-long covenant that cannot be broken by anyone, not even the Pope. The only way a previously married person can marry in the Church, or a Catholic marrying a baptized non-Catholic who has a previous marriage, is if the Church declares the previous marriage Null (which means that the marriage was never a true sacramental marriage in the eyes of God in the first place).

If the Church denies an annulment petition, then the person must remain unmarried and chaste.

If a person is living in sin, then they have no business serving in any capacity of the altar and are barred from receiving communion. If the father-in-law does not immediately stop his volunteering for serving, then the pastor needs to be notified that this man is not qualified to serve as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion.

Most of these irregular marriages can be regularized. There is no excuse not to ask the Church for what is needed to regularize this marriage. The father-in-law's refusal to do this, if he is refusing, is frankly, idiotic and a major symptom of pride. Such pride risks his soul to hell.

Your prayers for your father-in-law have limited effect to break the bondage of his sin because he must be the one to make the break. Your prayers can help to influence him to do the right thing, but only he can decide for his own self.

As for you and your children, I recommend praying the Renunciation of Ancestral Sins found in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer catalog linked below. Each generation should pray this pray to be sure to close the door on any demonic attachments that may be passed from generation to generation.

As a parent, you have a responsibility before God to protect your children. That means that your children should not be exposed to your father-in-law's adultery. I know this is a hard thing, but the spiritual health of your children are more important than the father-in-law.

If you make no mention of his adultery, and do not hold him accountable for his sin, inasmuch as it effects you and your family, then you indulge his adultery and become an accomplice to it.

For his own sake, as well as for the sake of your kids, the father-in-law needs to know how serious his sin is. He will see that, deep down, if his access to the grandkids is curtailed, and his wife not acknowledged as his wife. This is the most loving thing you can do for him

Hopefully, not indulging his dysfunctional behavior will wake him up someday to the fact that he needs to change and get right with God.

In the Spiritual Warfare Catalog is also a Hedge Prayer for a Wayward Person. Your father-in-law, as long as he is in a state of adultery, is not a devout Catholic, is risking his soul to hell, and is in need to return to the Church.

As for your husband not believing this, I would ask him when did God die and he become the new god? God says that such an irregular marriage is sin. God's opinion trumps his. He needs to grow up and mortify the pride of his opinions.

As of having babies, babies are always a blessing no matter the circumstances of their conception, the the circumstances of their birth. You cannot know if any child will remain with the faith. That possibility exists for all our children, and thus, that potential is not an excuse to avoid having children.

On the question as to whether or not you should have another baby, that is a decision you need to discuss with your confessor to see if the situation of a husband deficient in the faith (if that is what he is) is sufficiently serious grounds to practice NFP or to abstain.

We will be praying for you, your family, and for your father-in-law.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

For information on how to receive help see our Help page. We suggest that before contacting us directly for help you try the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. These self-help steps will often resolve the problem. Also our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog contains many prayers that may be helpful. If needed you can ask for a Personal Consultation.