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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Tricky Situations at Mass Carol Sunday, May 4, 2008

Question:

My husband and I are wondering how to handle a couple situations that always seem to crop up during Mass at our church. Everyone routinely holds hands during the Lord's Prayer, but we have heard this is not appropriate. We worry that we might appear unwelcoming or rude if we don't join in, and otherwise don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions for how we can handle this tricky situation? Are we wrong to just give up and join in on the handholding for the sake of not making a scene? Also, we feel uncertain about another common practice in our parish, never knowing what to do. The priest frequently has us raise our right hands in blessing during Mass upon certain people, such as children gathered up at the altar before they are dismissed for "kids word" during Mass, or over anyone who needs special blessings. It somehow feels inappropriate, like something only a priest or deacon should be doing.

Question Answered by Mr. Jacob Slavek

Dear Carol,

I suppose these are personal decisions so all I can give you is my personal opinion.  One time at the Lord's prayer someone actually became rude with me when I respectfully declined to hold her hand... in this case I decided it would be better to simply hold her hand rather than make a scene.  Normally though when someone extends his hand to me I would just return a warm smile and maybe a small hand gesture to acknowledge that I am aware he wants to hold hands.  Then I return my hands to their normal position and that ends it.  An extra sincere "Peace be with you" might help afterwards.  :-)

This "raising our right hand in blessing" also occurs regularly in my parish.  Theologically I suppose there's nothing wrong with it, there is nothing wrong with raising a hand while asking for a blessing.  However it really doesn't belong within the Liturgy, so whenever it happens in my parish I usually don't raise my hand.  I WILL however use the time to mentally make a prayer for the person being blessed, usually using the same words that the priest uses.

Mr. Slavek
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