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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Is sleeping in the same bed with boyfriend a sin? followup	Elizabeth Anne	Thursday, February 7, 2008
Question: Bro. Ignatius, Thank you taking the time to comment. If I am understanding this correctly, then the act itself of sleeping in the same bed is perhaps unfitting or a venial sin. However, if the act leads one or both to be tempted into entertaining thoughts or actions, that is a venial sin that can also lead to mortal sin. Furthermore, if another sees the participation of sleeping in the same bed and also begins to do so this causes scandal which is a grave sin. Having said that, is a grave sin a mortal sin? And if so, how can a grave or mortal sin compromise your soul? Surely I have in my lifetime committed acts of fornication, is that mortal? Does that mean a person will be in purgatory instead of heaven? Perhaps there is some gray here, I guess I am concerned about spiritual illness already perhaps embedded in my soul. With such a spiritual illness, are there certain ways that a person may seek to heal their soul, through God, in order to cast out such spots of darkness on their hearts? Thank you for your insight, God Bless, Elizabeth Anne
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Elizabeth Anne: The mere act of being in the same bed together in-and-of-itself is not a sin as long as you and your boyfriend don't have intercourse, but it is imprudent and unfitting. The problem is: 1) it places you in near occasion of sin. Do not underestimate this by thinking that you can handle it. No one is immune to the power of the near occasion. 2) it can lead to lustful thoughts which can be grave sin. 3) it can lead to small caresses which lead to heavy petting which lead to intercourse (intercourse being grave sin). 4) even if you do nothing improper the mere fact of being in the same bed may be an occasion of scandal to others, which is grave sin. There just simply is no good reason to do this and a lot of reasons to not do it. Why risk your soul like this? Fornication is grave sin. A grave sin becomes mortal when you know that the act is grave and you do it anyway with freedom of will. If you have unforgiven mortal sin on your soul when you die, you go to hell. Mortal sin destroys your relationship with God. Your soul does not become spiritual ill when you commit mortal sin, it become spiritual dead. The Holy Spirit departs from you and you are no longer in a State of Grace. You have lost friendship with God. You have lost salvation. You have lost heaven. This means that you are hell-bound unless you confess your sin in the Sacrament of Confession in order to be restored to a State of Grace and friendship with God. We ought to do nothing that will even remotely risk killing our soul. There is no sin worth risking our soul to hell. When you fornicate, or do any other acts of mortal sin ("Mortal" mean "death"), you are killing your soul and take the risk of going to hell, not purgatory, but hell. Venial sin brings spiritual illness to our soul. Venial sin can be forgiven by asking God for forgiveness directly, doing good works, and receiving the Eucharist. Mortal sin kills the soul. The only way to bring the soul alive again is to go to the Sacrament of Confession. The way to keep your soul alive, and healthy, is to live a good Catholic Life, go to Mass each week, receive the Eucharist, develop daily devotions and prayers, follow the precepts of the Church, avoid the near occasion of sin, go to the Sacrament of Confession when you fall into sin, read the lives of the Saints, do good works. Live as a good Christian. Avoid grave sins at all cost. But, also avoid venial sins too as best you can. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

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Is sleeping in the same bed with boyfriend a sin? followup

Elizabeth Anne

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Question:

Bro. Ignatius,

Thank you taking the time to comment. If I am understanding this correctly, then the act itself of sleeping in the same bed is perhaps unfitting or a venial sin. However, if the act leads one or both to be tempted into entertaining thoughts or actions, that is a venial sin that can also lead to mortal sin. Furthermore, if another sees the participation of sleeping in the same bed and also begins to do so this causes scandal which is a grave sin.

Having said that, is a grave sin a mortal sin? And if so, how can a grave or mortal sin compromise your soul? Surely I have in my lifetime committed acts of fornication, is that mortal? Does that mean a person will be in purgatory instead of heaven?

Perhaps there is some gray here, I guess I am concerned about spiritual illness already perhaps embedded in my soul. With such a spiritual illness, are there certain ways that a person may seek to heal their soul, through God, in order to cast out such spots of darkness on their hearts?

Thank you for your insight,
God Bless,

Elizabeth Anne

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Elizabeth Anne:

The mere act of being in the same bed together in-and-of-itself is not a sin as long as you and your boyfriend don't have intercourse, but it is imprudent and unfitting.

The problem is:

1) it places you in near occasion of sin. Do not underestimate this by thinking that you can handle it. No one is immune to the power of the near occasion.

2) it can lead to lustful thoughts which can be grave sin.

3) it can lead to small caresses which lead to heavy petting which lead to intercourse (intercourse being grave sin).

4) even if you do nothing improper the mere fact of being in the same bed may be an occasion of scandal to others, which is grave sin.

There just simply is no good reason to do this and a lot of reasons to not do it. Why risk your soul like this?

Fornication is grave sin. A grave sin becomes mortal when you know that the act is grave and you do it anyway with freedom of will. If you have unforgiven mortal sin on your soul when you die, you go to hell.

Mortal sin destroys your relationship with God. Your soul does not become spiritual ill when you commit mortal sin, it become spiritual dead. The Holy Spirit departs from you and you are no longer in a State of Grace. You have lost friendship with God. You have lost salvation. You have lost heaven.

This means that you are hell-bound unless you confess your sin in the Sacrament of Confession in order to be restored to a State of Grace and friendship with God.

We ought to do nothing that will even remotely risk killing our soul. There is no sin worth risking our soul to hell.

When you fornicate, or do any other acts of mortal sin ("Mortal" mean "death"), you are killing your soul and take the risk of going to hell, not purgatory, but hell.

Venial sin brings spiritual illness to our soul. Venial sin can be forgiven by asking God for forgiveness directly, doing good works, and receiving the Eucharist. Mortal sin kills the soul. The only way to bring the soul alive again is to go to the Sacrament of Confession.

The way to keep your soul alive, and healthy, is to live a good Catholic Life, go to Mass each week, receive the Eucharist, develop daily devotions and prayers, follow the precepts of the Church, avoid the near occasion of sin, go to the Sacrament of Confession when you fall into sin, read the lives of the Saints, do good works. Live as a good Christian.

Avoid grave sins at all cost. But, also avoid venial sins too as best you can.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum