Dear Bro.-

Back when I was in middle school, I became addicted to cross-dressing. This happened out of pure boredom. One day I pulled out one of my mother's clothing and put it on. I enjoyed it, and I began masturbating while wearing her clothes. She caught on to what was happening, and kindly asked me to stop. The problem was persistent, and several times she'd spot me wearing her clothes.

One day she caught me again, and she snapped. I couldn't bear to watch her suffer any longer, so I placed my hand on a book called "The Picture Bible" and told god I would do it no further. My mother is the only reason for my vow.

Unfortunately, I eventually went back to doing it, this time not as much as before. Since my vow in 2004, I have only done it 10 times. That's 1/20 of the number of times I did it in 2003 alone.

 I get tempted to do it all the time. Recently, I've shown incredible courage and resistance to this habit. One problem: I don't remember exactly what I said when I vowed against it.

So, my questions to you are as follows:

1. Was my vow valid to begin with?
2. What will happen to me if I break it again?
3. If I don't remember the terms of my vow, is it invalid?

This combined problem of vows and resisting women's clothing have both put me under great distress. I feel that if I were to break it again, and not know EXACTLY what it was I vowed against, God would find me and punish me somehow for my sins.

As we speak, I am under such stress right now. I wouldn't want something horrible to happen to me just because I broke my vow, especially if it was because of something I don't remember vowing for EXACTLY.

I cannot help but wonder if it is valid or not, or what will happen to me if I break it again. I hope that without having to vow again, God will help me cope with this problem. Part of me wants it to end, part of me wants to continue with it.

Please help me with this.

P.S. I've noticed so many horrible things happened this week. Are demons running rampant?