Dear Matthew:

Sorry about the delay in answering your question.

I am not sure I can help you and you may not like what I am going to say, but STOP IT. Stop this ridiculous aberrant thinking. You KNOW the Catholic faith is not evil and all that other nonsense. You MUST get a grip on yourself.

St. Paul says we must "take captive every thought into obedience to Christ" (2 Cor 10:5).

1) You need to "capture" these thoughts, REJECT THEM immediately, and submit your mind in obedience to Christ.

Within a second of thinking these silly notions say out loud, "Lord I reject this thought of _________. I accept only thoughts that please You. Amen."

At other times when you have the chance for more formal prayer, pray this one:

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of His Name, I reject this thought and feeling of     [list for describe thought/feeling]    which is contrary to Your will. I choose only thoughts in harmony with the Holy Spirit, and I cover my thought life with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Pray this prayer EVERYDAY. Pray it at least TWICE a day. If you have no current nonsense thoughts, then replace the sentence, "I reject this thought and feeling of     [list for describe thought/feeling]    which is contrary to Your will" with "I reject all thoughts and feelings that are contrary to Your will."

2) In addition to this you need to deal with your fear. God is not a God of fear. I suggest that you pray the following EVERYDAY:

In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, strengthened by the intercession of the Immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Blessed Michael the Archangel, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and all the Saints and Angels of Heaven, and powerful in the holy authority of His name, I ask of the heavenly Father to rebuke this spirits of fear and doubt and to command them in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to depart from me, now, quietly, without harm to anyone.

I bring the power and the protection of the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ over my life. Satan has no part with me as I am sealed with the saving blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for not being all I should be in Your eyes. Let the cleansing, healing waters of my baptism wash over this me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness.

Lord Jesus Christ, fill me with Your peace, faith, and confidence to replace the these infernal spirits of fear and doubt.

Lord Jesus, bring to bear my guardian angel, and all the angels of heaven, against the forces of evil that seek to cause trouble for me.

Saint Michael, be my protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, and our Mother, pray for me that I may not fall into the devil’s temptations.

Thank You, Heavenly Father, for setting me free. I praise You, I bless You, I worship You. Thank You for the wisdom and light of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You for enabling me to be aggressive against the works of the enemy. Thank You for Your hope, that takes away discouragement; thank You for ongoing victory. "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us" (Romans 8:37). Amen.

3) Talk to your doctor about your Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies and ask to be placed on a drug such as Zoloft. Zoloft or other drugs like it can help to calm the Obsessive-Compulsive thinking.

4) Find another counselor with whom you can receive direct cognitive or other therapies.

You have to take responsibility for your own behavior. Take CAPTIVE these thoughts, reject them immediately and give them to Christ.

Focus on what you KNOW to be true instead of what you FEEL might by true. You KNOW that the Catholic faith is holy. If you have a feeling or thought that says otherwise you KNOW that feeling or thought is wrong.

Hey, I know. What if the Catholic Church is the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church personally founded by Jesus upon St. Peter and is His Bride?

Focus on that. Repeat that in your mind over and over at least 100 times per day. Say it out loud when you can, in your mind when saying it out loud is not prudent.

To your question about whether or not the devil can plant thoughts in your head even so that you think you hear something at Mass that was not actually said - Yes, that is possible. Do not let the devil mess with you like that. He knows your weakness and look what has happened -- you have gone down a spiral because of one incident...

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary