Dear Carol:

Contrary to popular opinion today we ARE TO JUDGE. We are not to judge hypocritically or with double-standard or with petty presumption or maliciousness, but we are to make proper judgments. I deal with this subject in detail in the essay: Three Secret Strategies of Satan to Destroy our Children, our Families, our Culture, and our Church. I highly recommend that everyone read that essay.

Making proper judgment is to evaluate the facts about some situation or person, it is NOT faultfinding or mere criticism. If you steal my car I make a correct judgment that you are a thief. That is a statement of fact, not a faultfinding judgmentalism.

It is true that we are obligated to judge others in a positive light unless there is evidence to the contrary. As you are driving away in my car I think I have the evidence needed to recognize you as a car thief :)

The Catechism quote from St. Ignatius Loyal, my namesake:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

The full context of this quote is:

III. OFFENSES AGAINST TRUTH

2475 Christ's disciples have "put on the new man, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." By "putting away falsehood," they are to "put away all malice and all guile and insincerity and envy and all slander."

2476 False witness and perjury. When it is made publicly, a statement contrary to the truth takes on a particular gravity. In court it becomes false witness. When it is under oath, it is perjury. Acts such as these contribute to condemnation of the innocent, exoneration of the guilty, or the increased punishment of the accused. They gravely compromise the exercise of justice and the fairness of judicial decisions.

2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

- of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

- of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another's faults and failings to persons who did not know them;

- of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

2478 To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor's thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way:

Every good Christian ought to be more ready to give a favorable interpretation to another's statement than to condemn it. But if he cannot do so, let him ask how the other understands it. And if the latter understands it badly, let the former correct him with love. If that does not suffice, let the Christian try all suitable ways to bring the other to a correct interpretation so that he may be saved.

2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one's neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

The faultfinding and criticism that you grew-up with is wrong. Because of that experience it may be difficult for you to discern where the lines are drawn between proper judgment and improper judgmentalism. Hopefully this Q&A and the essay I mentioned will help you with this.

As to those people who are "condescending, arrogant or mean", is that really the case? If so, if this is a accurate assessment of how these people are behaving, then it is not uncharitable to avoid them. We are never required to like everyone, or to be buddies with them, or even to tolerate their presence; we are only required to love and respect them as fellow human beings.

You are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT in saying that it is "necessary at times to judge that others are behaving badly so that we will not be endangered or negatively influenced by their words or actions." Not only is it sometimes necessary, it is a grave duty -- especially when it affects our children.

I remember a funny incident in an online chatroom once. This man said that I was a sorry excuse of a Catholic because I was so judgmental. I replied, "You mean like you are judging me now?"

The man said, "I am not judging you."

I retorted, "You most certainly are. You called me a sorry excuse of a Catholic."

He protested, "I am not judging you, I am only observing."

I chuckled and said, "You are an idiot."

He said, "There, see, you are judging again."

I replied, "No sir, I am not, I am only observing."

St. James in Chapter 2 of the Book of James called the people he was arguing with a bunch of ignoramuses. There are times when one calls a spade a spade. The idea that we never step on toes is a demonic lie (see the essay linked above).

Now none of this is an excuse for faultfinding or petty criticism. Faultfinding is trying to find fault with someone or jumping to the conclusion of fault in another's words or actions. This leads to the grave sin of rash judgment.

For example, if I see Father Ray coming out of a adult bookstore and I presume the worst, that he was buying or looking at pornography, then I have just gravely sinned because I do not know that at all. I do not have all the facts. Unbeknownst to my faultfinding mind, the reason the Father was in the Adult bookstore may have been because he just gave last rites to a man who had a heart attack in the store. Father's presence in the store, therefore, was innocent.

If a man comes to my door with a knife in his hand demanding money, I properly judge that this man is a danger to myself and my family and it would be proper to slam the door in his face.

Bottomline: faultfinding, that is, presuming fault in others, is wrong and sinful; making proper judgment about the facts of a matter is okay, proper, and perhaps even a duty -- especially when the person or circumstance endangers us or others, or when it endangers our soul or our faith.

By the way, Jesus did not condemn the people for bringing the woman to him who was caught in adultery. The crowd had judged correctly that she committed the sin of adultery. Jesus did not chastise them for that judgment. Rather, he chastise them for condemning her to death rather than offering forgiveness.

We are never to condemn someone to hell or to judge their heart, but we are most certainly to judge behavior, attitudes, words, and actions in a way that seeks truth and not mere faultfinding.

I hope this helps somewhat.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary