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Question Title Posted By Question Date
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marital embrace
WARNING!! This question and answer is of a mature nature. Parental discretion is advised.

helen Thursday, October 25, 2007

Question:

Dear Bro. Ignatius Mary,
Firstly, I would like to sincerely thank you for this wonderful website which has been such a great source of guidance to me in my faith. For a number of years, previous to 2004, I had stopped practising my Faith and myself into some very bad situations.

 After a chance/providencial sighting of Pope John Pope II in 2003, I found myself really searching for help and advice even on the internet and thats when I came accross your website. I am certain that your website was part of Gods plan to get me back on the right path. Because Mid 2004, I had a conversion experience. So Thank you so much for this wonderful website that I am certain has helped and continues to help so many across the world.

Anyway, to my questions. I got married 3 weeks ago to a great guy who is also a practising Catholic (another providencial meeting. we met at mass 1 year after my conversion). I thought I knew everything I needed to know about married life until I got married now I realise I'v a lot to learn. I dont want to be doing anything wrong but I am finding it very difficult to get some clear facts on certain things. So please forgive me if I am a bit crude but I really need to ask straight questions.


1.Is it okay for the man to touch the woman genitally and vice versa in order to arouse before sexual intercouse? would this be regarded as foreplay?


2.If the woman accidentally orgasms during this time, is this a sin, even if they then have sexual intercourse and the man orgasms vaginally? Wouldn't this be regarded as masturbation for the woman?

Maybe the question should be; is foreplay everything that occurrs without orgasm, and if an orgasm occurs without actual sexual intercourse then this is called masturbation?

3.I am really embarassed at this one but I need to know. Is arousal by mouth-to-penis or mouth-to-vagina ending in sexual intercourse okay or not in the churches teachings?


Thank you for any help you can give and God Bless you Always, Helen



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

*****
WARNING!! This question and answer is of a mature nature. Parental discretion is advised.

Dear Helen:

Thank you for asking these questions and I praise God that you and your husband wish to make your marriage bed holy and not do anything you ought not.

I put the warnings on this post since we are talking about very adult subjects.

I actually get asked these questions a lot. When I was first asked some of these questions I did not know for sure the answer so I contacted Father Most, who was one of the leading moral theologians in the United States, God rest his soul. He instructed me in the proper answers that I will be giving here.

Before answering your questions I also want to thank God that our website has been useful to you and to your faith and also in any little way we have been helpful in your return to the Faith.

By the way, congratulations on your marriage. May you and your husband, and your marriage, and eventual family be blessed.

As to Question #1: Yes, caresses to arouse your spouse are normal foreplay and perfectly permissible.

As to Question #2: It is no sin for the woman to orgasm during foreplay. In fact, it is perfectly permissible for her to orgasm multiple times during foreplay. This is NOT masturbation when it is part of the normal foreplay of marital sex. If a person intends to "masturbate" their spouse, which is an intention to bring to orgasm without the intention and outside of the context of mutual foreplay that leads to intercourse, then we may have a problem.

As to Question #3: Oral sex, husband to wife, or wife to husband, is also permitted AS LONG AS the man does not ejaculate. While the woman can have as many orgasms as she can outside of intercourse, the man must never orgasm, that is ejaculate, except in the vagina. So, oral sex is permissible if mutally agreed upon as long as the man does not ejaculate anywhere except in his wife's vagina.

May your marriage be blessed,

Bro. Ignatius Mary


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