| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
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| Was there something wrong with my boyfriend? | SweetGirl | Friday, October 19, 2007 |
Question: Dear Father, I was dating a man who supposedly was a "practicing Catholic." He carried a Rosary in his pocket and said that he went Church every day. But early on, I began to notice things that were "funny" about him. Like the time, on our second date I asked him if he was a virgin and he said-WITH A SMILE- "No!". He would tell me that he had wanted to become a priest but decided not to because he wanted "to find out what sex was like". He told me that most priests were not virgins because, like him, most priests "had to find out what sex was like" before they became priests. He seemed to have this strange belief that every man NEEDED sex in order to be fulfilled. He even told me that Pope John Paul II was probably not a virgin. He expected every man over the age of 30 to not be a virgin. When I explained to him that my good Catholic friend William, 32, was a virgin and that I admired him for being one, he didn't believe me and insulted William. This hurt me because William is my friend and he is very kind. When he wasn't bragging about the great sexual experiments he had with other women, he would do things to me. He would touch me sexually against my consent. He did serious things to me. But he didn't rape me. Interestingly, he believed that Vatican II was a mistake. He was an avid follower of Malachi Martin, a psycho ex-priest who wrote shoddy novels with lies about the Catholic Church. Obviously, I left him. But I would like to know if you think there was something wrong with his views about sex and chastity. Like he would tell me that sex before marriage was a sin, but mostly every guy does it and his philosphy was that as long as you confess it, ITS OK! PS I'm a virgin...he didn't rape me...he just did everything else... |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM
Dear "SweetGirl": By the way, I am not a priest, just a consecrated brother. I am glad to hear that you are no longer dating this fella. He is bad news. This guy obviously was not spiritually or emotionally mature. From your description he may have a sexual addiction. His ideas about sex are certainly perverted and dysfunctional. He is also risking his soul with attitudes like "as long as you confess it, it's ok". If he commits these sins and then goes into confession with that attitude, he most likely is giving a bad confession. Someone needs to slap this boy upside the head before he loses his soul. I praise God that you left this guy and that you have committed yourself to chastity and virginity until marriage. I encourage you to continue with that resolve, but not just in terms of not having intercourse, but also avoiding "heavy petting" as well. You need to keep yourself chaste which also means avoiding lust and avoiding the near occasion of sin. God will honor you for doing this and you will bring a level of respect and dignity to your marriage that few people can know these days if you remain chaste before marriage. God Bless, Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum
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