Dear Michael:

A parent can be responsible for only so much. A teenager is old enough before God to take responsibility for his own actions if he refuses to obey the parents.

In as much as the parent has the power and opportunity to that degree does the parent have a responsibility.

In the scenario you give about adult child fornicating in the parents house, the parents are an accessory. The parents need to tell the child that he will not fornicate in their house, that the couple will not sleep in the same bed. If the couple puts up a fuss, tough. They can go find a motel, but they will NOT sin in this house and the "friend" will not be treated as a spouse (in the case of the couple living together without marriage).

A parent cannot control what adult children do, but they have TOTAL control over what they will allow in their house.

As for a underage teenager who refuses to go to Mass, the parents have a responsibility to insist that the child does go to Mass. If the child refuses anyway, then consequences should be the result -- like the child cannot borrow the car, or cannot do something else. Specifics really cannot be given in that each child is different, each family has different dynamics, and thus what is done specifically will vary.

In terms of rights, children DO NOT have religious liberty rights. Other than basic human rights, divine rights, and moral rights, the only rights that children have are those given to them by their parents.

Bottomline is that the parents need to set the standards and the values for the family and do all that is in their power to assert those values.

God bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary