Dear Kevin:

I praise God that you are re-considering your position and thinking of returning to the Church. We will certainly be in prayer for you as your consider this journey.

I agree with you that if you are to return to the Church that you should do so with genuine conviction and commitment, and not half-heartedly.

With that said, we need to remember that sometimes we will not understand everything until AFTER we make the decision to come into the Church.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 2:14: "The unspiritual man does not receive the gifts of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned."

This verse is talking about the unspiritual man, those not baptized, but it also presents us with a principle that applies in many situations.

In this case, you may not fully understand the teachings of the Catholic Church until AFTER you make your commitment. Regardless of how much research you do about the teachings of the Church, there is still the factor of faith. One must take a step of faith. In that, however, there is more than enough evidence in favor of knowing that the Church is correct in its teachings to bring one to that step of faith, but nevertheless, a step of faith must be done.

I am reminded of the story of the man hanging onto a small branch off the side of a cliff. The branch is about to break which will cause the man to fall to his death.

The man seeing the branch about to break calls out to God, "Lord, are you there. Help Me, Save Me."

Nothing happens.

The man calls out a second time, "Lord, please are you there. Save me. The branch is about to break and I will die."

Nothing happens.

The man calls out a third time and this time God answers, "I am here, son." The man replies, "Is that really you Lord?" God says, "Yes, son it is the Lord your God."

The man relieved explains, "Lord this branch is about to break and I will fall to my death. Please save me."

God replies, "Okay son, I will, but first you must let go of the branch."

The man thinks for a moment about what God is asking him to do. He thinks, and thinks, and finally looks up to heaven and says....

"Is there anyone else up there?"

We must LET GO first, and then God will catch us.

I tell my own story of letting go of the branch in the essay, Obedience: the First and Foundational Virtue that tells the story about how I had trouble believing in praying to saints until AFTER I converted. I had to just trust that the Church knew what she was doing on that one. It was only AFTER I converted that I fully understood the doctrine.

The point to all this is that there is much you can do to seek understanding of the Church teachings, but no matter all that, it will come down to making a step of faith.

Now as to seeking an understanding, my first point is to assure you that the Church does not teach what it teaches "just because." The teachings of the Church are not come political power grab as some suggest, or arbitrarily asserted, they are based upon the Revelation of God. So, for example, the Church's teachings on sexual morality are not designed to ruin people's fun, but are directly related to the purpose of sex AS GOD CREATED AND DETERMINES it. The Church has no choice but to teach what it teaches because the Church cannot contradict God.

So, if you have doubts about what the Church teaches about contraception, abortion, sex outside of marriage, divorce, etc. seek to find out WHY the Church teaches those things. The same goes on any other topic.

To get your started on that quest of learning the whys and the true rendering of Church teaching I refer you to the pamphlets of Catholic Answers. These pamphlets address many of the issues that people wonder about concerning Catholic teachings and history. That is a good starting place. Another place is the Scripture Catholic and Biblical Evidence for Catholicism (see the Main Index on the right side of the screen on this site) which discusses the Biblical basis for Catholicism.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church (this is a link to buy the book if you wish) is also a must to read. It gives an overview and explains much of Catholic Teaching.

As for rebelliousness, that is a problem in all respects regardless of whether or not a person is a Christian, an atheist, a pagan, or a nothing religiously. Rebelliousness is a form of pride and ego. It says, I WILL NOT SERVE (submit). This was the motto of Lucifer and the motto of the rebellion in heaven that caused Lucifer and a third of the angels to be kicked out of heaven to become demons.

We must serve others whether we like it or not, or suffer the consequences. The consequence of not serving (submitting) one's employer is getting fired. If we do not serve (submit) to the law of the land we will be arrested and go to prison. If we do not serve (submit) the rules in prison, we will be placed in solitary confinement. If one does not serve their marriage, then they will end up in divorce. If one does not serve the rules of the road, they will end up in a car accident maybe killing others and themselves.

To rebel is to not serve. It is to do things solely one's own way without regard for others or the Truth. Rebellion is ultimate selfishness and irresponsibility, and just plain stupid since it will only result in more heartache and hardship than is necessary. Life is hard enough as it is.

By the way, I speak all this from experience.

Now, in talking about this I am not referring to what is often called rebellion, such as protesting nuclear proliferation, or abortion, or the military torturing people. I was arrested in 1983 for civil disobedience at Offuit AFB protesting nuclear proliferation. Martin Luther King was arrested for his civil disobedience in the civil rights movement. These are acts of rebellion, but not "mere" rebellion. Rather they are acts of conscious against an injustice or a wrong.

Rebelliousness for the sake of rebelliousness, however, is just pride and ego.

As you learn about Catholic Teaching and why the Church teaches what it teaches I hope that you will realize that to obey Catholic Teaching is the right thing to do because to obey God is the right thing to do. To follow our own opinions without regard to God's truth is just foolish.

But also, to be a loyal Catholic is the ultimate form of rebellion! It is a rebellion against the foolishness of this world. To be Catholic is truly counter-cultural.

I am a child of the 60s. In the 1960's we thought we were being counter-cultural and protesting all that we thought was negative that our culture had to offer. Not really. The true counter-culture is to be Christian, especially a Catholic Christian. You wanna be a rebel? Be a loyal and obedient Catholic and you will be a true rebel.

I hope this helps.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary