Dear Farrell:

Thank you for your post. The fact that you are asking questions means that you are searching. I believe that eventually, if one searches with sincerity, they will find. Afterall Jesus assures us to "seek and you shall find" (Matt 7:7).

I am pleased that you found that TV program inspiring. I did not get the chance to see it.

There are two websites that I would recommend to you that have a wealth of answers about specific topics like those you are wondering about. One is Catholic Answers. In their library, they have many pamphlets that answer specific questions about various Catholic teachings.

Another site is Scripture Catholic. This site provides the Biblical evidence for Catholic Teaching. 

I would also recommend that you get a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church. It offers statements and reasons for most of the Church's teachings. 

To answer all your questions would take a book, so VERY briefly I will try to address a couple of your questions.

The Perpetual Virginity of Mary has to do with the nature of the sacred. Mary was the Ark of the New Covenant where God (the incarnate Jesus) resided until His birth.

I will not go into a complete Bible study here, but I will be writing a complete essay about this later. We learn from the Old Testament that anywhere that God resides must be pure, unblemished, untouched by unconsecrated hands.  We also learn that once something has been set aside for God, it must remain pure and never used again for ordinary purposes.

Thus, Mary as the Ark of the New Covenant that held our Lord God in her womb had to be pure, unblemished, and untouched -- thus the virgin birth. Since her womb was made precious and sacred by the presence of God within it, her womb had to be pure, unblemished and untouched forever. It would not be proper to take something that held the presence of God and use it for ordinary purposes.

Most of us would cringe at the thought of the Sacred Chalice that contains the Blood of Christ being used as an ordinary cup for supper. Or taking the vessel that holds the Eucharist in the Tabernacle and use it to hold paper clips. Or take the Tabernacle and give it to my granddaughter to use as a doll house. These are unthinkable blasphemies.

So, would it too, be a blasphemy if the tabernacle of God that is Mary's womb was used for ordinary purposes of sex or birthing other children.

Mary was set aside in a special way for God. Her's is a singular and unique grace given by God precisely because she was to hold within her the most precious being in the world -- our Lord God Jesus Christ.

That is the reason for the Marian Doctrines of the Immaculate Conception (which protected her from the stain of original sin), the Virgin Birth (providing a pure vessel (tabernacle) for our Lord), Perpetual Virginity (maintaining the sacredness of the tabernacle that held our Lord), and the Assumption (not allowing the sacred vessel (tabernacle) to fall into the ordinary decay of death).

Thus, all this has to do with the nature of the Sacred.  If you understand the meaning and nature of the Sacred, then the rest makes perfect sense.

I encourage you to seek sincerely. Find out the reasons for the Catholic Faith. The websites and the Catechism will go a long way in giving you the reasons for the Faith.

But, remember, eventually you will need to make a step of Faith. You do not need a lot of Faith, only the size of a mustard seed. If you have never seen a real mustard seed, its size is about the size of this dot .

There is more than enough evidence and information to understand sufficiently to get to the point of making the step of faith, but the final step will always be one of faith, not understanding.

I would encourage you to read a portion of my story of conversion called, Obedience, the First and Foundational Virtue. It is about how I came to accept in the Marian doctrines even though I did not believe them when I first converted to the Catholic Church.

There is a joke that illustrates perfectly what we must do:

There is a man hanging onto a small branch off the side of a cliff. The branch is about to break which will cause the man to fall to his death.

The man seeing the branch about to break calls out to God, "Lord, are you there. Help Me, Save Me."

Nothing happens.

The man calls out a second time, "Lord, please are you there. Save me. The branch is about to break and I will die."

Nothing happens.

The man calls out a third time and this time God answers, "I am here, son." The man replies, "Is that really you Lord?" God says, "Yes, son it is the Lord your God."

The man relieved explains, "Lord this branch is about to break and I will fall to my death. Please save me."

God replies, "Okay son, I will, but first you must let go of the branch."

The man thinks for a moment about what God is asking him to do. He thinks, and thinks, and finally looks up to heaven and says....

"Is there anyone else up there?"

We must LET GO first, and then God will catch us. Eventually Farrell, you must let go.

Find out a much as you can, try to understand, but keep in mind that eventually you must let go.

Once you let go, you will find as I did, that any remaining understanding that is needed suddenly happens, but only AFTER letting go.

We will be in prayer for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary