Dear Pamela:

Sorry for the great delay in responding. We just today found several old questions buried in a database that were unanswered.

A Catholic can be forgiven for divorce. It is re-marriage that causes the problem.

If a person divorces and re-marries without benefit of an annulment, then they are sinning and remain in a state of sin as long as they continue to have relations with their current spouse. The reason for this is that under the eyes of God they are already married.

To God, and to the Church, there is no such thing as divorce. If a marriage is a valid SACRAMENTAL marriage then no one, not the couple, a priest, bishop, or even a pope can dissolve it. It is impossible.

Thus if one gets a civil divorce and remarries, they sin because they are still in the previous marriage. Civil divorce has no effect on a Sacramental Marriage.

The question to ask then, when is a marriage "sacramental." A Sacramental marriage is one in which the couple knows what a Sacramental marriage is, its permanence, the nature of marriage and sex, and has a complete freedom to consent to the marriage (and a few other things like "canonical form").

Most marriages in the United States are marriages performed in the midst of immaturity. This is the most immature society on the planet. Immaturity impedes one's ability to make a truly informed and free decision. For this reason, while the marriage may have been valid before the state, it would not be in the eyes of God.

Unless the Church determines that the marriage was null (that is, not sacramental), one cannot remarry as they are already married.

For those who have gotten themselves into this mess of marrying someone when they have not received an annulment for a previous marriage (a situation of one's own fault, not the Church's), they may find a solution.

The solution?

1) Stop receiving the Eucharist until this mess is cleared up or until #3 below is met. To continue to receive the Eucharist in his situation is a grave sin.

2) apply for an annulment right away.

3) live as brother and sister until the annulment is granted. One "can" go with sex for a year or so. It is not the end of the world. If the couple lives as brother and sister then they may ask forgiveness for their adultery and begin to receive the Sacrament. If they fall and have sex, then they may return to Confession as usual.

Some may say this is not fair. Well, it is not God's fault or the Church's, that they couple decided to sin. If one sins, then one needs to accept the consequences of their sin. If a person does not wish to accept the consequences, then they need to grow up.

What is outrageous is people thinking they can do whatever they please in violation of God's law and teaching especially since it is remarkably easy to avoid these situations if one gets divorced -- just simply do not remarry until one receives an annulment.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary