Dear Alice:

I deleted much of your post because there is no way for me to respond to it and we do not need to be spreading hearsay.

In my own experience of nearly 35 years working with associations I have seen almost everything in the manner of people liking and disliking a group.

In the vast majority of cases the problem is one of misinterpretation of what is happening. It is easy to do and we all do it. Emotion, by the way, profoundly effects are perception of a problem and especially our memory of the problem.

The second most frequent problem is miscommunication and misunderstanding, which leads to further misinterpretation.

The third most frequent problem is that the group is just not the cup of tea for some people. Each group has its own personality and way of doing things. Not all personalities like each other. When this happens, it means that the person needs to find another group more to their liking and to do so without bashing the former one.

There are thousands and thousands of people who think that Regnum Christi and other groups are the best thing since apple pie. That fact that some don't like this brand of apple pie does not mean anything is wrong with the person who leaves or with the group itself. It just means that the group is not for this person and the person nor for this group. Nothing more.

If you feel slighted or mistreated in any way, then you need to forgive them and get on with your life. It is obvious that these groups are not for you. That is fine. Put it behind you, speak of it no more, and get on with something else.

If someone asks you about these groups just say, "It wasn't for me, but it might be something for you. Just go check it out, pray about it, and decide."

If asked for details say, "I'd rather not burden you with my perceptions. Check it out for yourself and ask God for guidance."

This is the charitable thing to do. We must all remember that even if we tell the truth we can be sinning. The sin of detraction is telling the truth about someone to a person who really does not need to know it.

Even for prospects to these groups, do not prejudice them with your own perceptions. Remember, your experiences are YOUR experiences, colored by your perceptions and emotions and interpretations. Let others find out for themselves.

For yourself, there are many other associations you can check out. Pray about it and seek another community.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary