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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
non-Catholic wedding	Ron	Thursday, December 23, 2004
Question: My brother in law has fallen away from the church. He is engaged and is deciding whether to get married in the Catholic Church or not. We have told him that to not get married in the church is wrong and will separate him from the Church. Please pray for him and those of us trying to help him do the right thing. My question is this... assuming the worst (he gets married outside the church) is it a sin for me and my family (devoted Catholics) to attend the wedding? And if attending is OK, would it be sinful for me and my wife to allow our 2 year old daughter to be the flower girl? I have already told my wife that if he gets married outside the church our daughter will not be part of the wedding since I feel it to be more of a sad event than a joyous one since his soul is in danger and having my daugther sprinkling rose pedals seems to be a bit out of place in such a setting. What are your thoughts? And again, please pray for him (Steve) and us to help him do the right thing. Pax Christi, Ron
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM Dear Ron: It sounds like your brother-in-law is already separated from the Church. For him to get married in the Church with no intention of being a practicing Catholic is somewhat hypocritical. Nevertheless, for a Catholic to marry outside of the Church makes the marriage invalid -- in otherwords, he will not be married in the eyes of God or the Church, but living the sin of concubinage. Since the Catholic Church teaches that we are not to be accomplices to sin (see CCC 1868-69) I cannot see a way that, in my opinion, that a Catholic can participate in an invalid wedding. Thus I would say, no, your daughter should not be a flower girl for this wedding. I would also suggest that even attending the wedding is not wise since that is a tacit approval of the wedding. When the minister says, "Is there anyone who knows of a legal reason why this couple should not be married" I would be tempted to say "Yes, not by civil law, but by Canon Law this marriage is illegal and invalid." Mere attendance at the wedding is a question for your conscience, but direct participation I think is clearly inappropriate and even perhaps sinful considering the teaching of the Catechism at paragraphs 1868-69. We will certainly be in prayer for Steve and you. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

non-Catholic wedding

Ron

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Question:

My brother in law has fallen away from the church. He is engaged and is deciding whether to get married in the Catholic Church or not. We have told him that to not get married in the church is wrong and will separate him from the Church. Please pray for him and those of us trying to help him do the right thing.

My question is this... assuming the worst (he gets married outside the church) is it a sin for me and my family (devoted Catholics) to attend the wedding? And if attending is OK, would it be sinful for me and my wife to allow our 2 year old daughter to be the flower girl?

I have already told my wife that if he gets married outside the church our daughter will not be part of the wedding since I feel it to be more of a sad event than a joyous one since his soul is in danger and having my daugther sprinkling rose pedals seems to be a bit out of place in such a setting.

What are your thoughts? And again, please pray for him (Steve) and us to help him do the right thing.

Pax Christi,
Ron

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM

Dear Ron:

It sounds like your brother-in-law is already separated from the Church. For him to get married in the Church with no intention of being a practicing Catholic is somewhat hypocritical.

Nevertheless, for a Catholic to marry outside of the Church makes the marriage invalid -- in otherwords, he will not be married in the eyes of God or the Church, but living the sin of concubinage.

Since the Catholic Church teaches that we are not to be accomplices to sin (see CCC 1868-69) I cannot see a way that, in my opinion, that a Catholic can participate in an invalid wedding. Thus I would say, no, your daughter should not be a flower girl for this wedding.

I would also suggest that even attending the wedding is not wise since that is a tacit approval of the wedding. When the minister says, "Is there anyone who knows of a legal reason why this couple should not be married" I would be tempted to say "Yes, not by civil law, but by Canon Law this marriage is illegal and invalid."

Mere attendance at the wedding is a question for your conscience, but direct participation I think is clearly inappropriate and even perhaps sinful considering the teaching of the Catechism at paragraphs 1868-69.

We will certainly be in prayer for Steve and you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum