| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
|---|---|---|
| considering marriage to fallen away catholic | jake | Monday, November 29, 2004 |
Question: is it okay to marry a fallen away catholic? and how do i explain that I need (and very much want to) raise our children in the catholic faith? In talking with her she says she doesn't mind if i raise them catholic but wants to share her views of the world as well. She is a very good and loving person indeed, but doesn't hold the views of the Church and I'm not sure how to address the issue. I understand the teaching of the church on this issue to say that as long as the non-catholic person doesn't counter the teaching of the church, it is okay. I'm sure the safest bet is to not get involved in such a relationship in the first place, but I do care for this persons own salvation as well as my own and future children and love her very much. Is there any hope for us? Perhaps I would need to provide more information to have this answered? |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM
Dear Jake: If your Catholic girlfriend denies any dogma of the Catholic Church, then she is a heretic. If she has notoriously rejected the faith, then you would have to have the permission of the Bishop to marry her. The Bishop will have to decide what constitutes "notorious rejection." Besides all that, in my opinion, it is foolish to marry a fallen away Catholic. What kind of role model can she be for the children, who MUST be raised Catholic? Even though she doesn't mind the kids being raised Catholic, she wants to share her views as well. What does this do to the kids? This is not about "equal time". How can the kids form a firm foundation in the Faith when their mother is telling them things contrary to the Faith? I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think that marrying a Catholic who is a heretic, or at least heterodox, is absolute foolish, dangerous to your Faith, and a confusing and abusive to the children who need a straight teaching on a firm foundation, and not the mixed signals of varying views -- especially before their brains are developed enough to handle varying views. Children's brains are not equipped to even begin to process this sort of thing until the high school years. Even thing it is marginal. The human brain is not fully formed until around 20. You have a responsibility to protect your children from that which would harm them in their vulnerability or in anyway lead them away from the faith. You can care for this woman's salvation without getting married to her. My opinion is that to marry this person would be a grave mistake and even a potential threat to the salvation of your future children. God Bless, Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum
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