Dear Brenda:

1) Well, in the first instance, anytime anyone is living in someone else's house the person needs to follow the "house rules", be respectful of privacy, and do their part in housekeeping and such. This would apply to ah adult child living in the parent's home.

2) Matters of common courtesy are also required such as letting the parents know where you will be and when you will be home and calling if you will be late. Not doing this can cause great concern and worry on the part of the parents not knowing where you are or if you have been in an accident if you do not come home when promised.

3) Although a parent giving an adult a curfew is inappropriate, one should be careful to not disturb their parents when coming in late; and again, you need to let your parents know when you will be home even if that is 3am, and call if you will be late (unless they say you don't need to do that since such a call is so late at night).

4) As for something like a parent telling an adult child where they can and cannot go, this is generally improper for the parents to do depending on the issue. If the adult child is living a reprobate life and thus goes to adult theaters, strip clubs, or bars, then the parents have a right to request their adult child not frequent such places if they will be living in their house.

5) Also, if you are 18-20 years of age then in a very real sense you are not yet an adult (even though legally you may be). The respect in obedience to parents is less than it is when in high school, but more than it will be during the traditional "college years" (18-21).

After the college years one should be fully adult and be treated as an adult with the points made in 1-4 above taken in consideration.

Living with parents when one is an adult is usually a very difficult thing. It will require a lot of compromises that go beyond that required by living merely with a roommate. This cannot be avoided. If one cannot handle it, then it is best to live elsewhere as soon as possible rather than damage the family relationship.

As for any of this being sin, I cannot tell you. There are many variables and dynamics that would be involved in making that determination in a situation like this. Your local parish priest/confessor may help you on that question.

God bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary