Dear Kevin:

If your marriage has not been regularized in the Church and you have no intention to regularize your marriage, then no, you cannot confess because you cannot make a good confession. As long as you live as husband and wife without the blessing of your marriage in the Church, you are living in a state of concubinage (fornication), a grave sin, because your marriage is not valid.

With that said, I praise God that you and your wife wish to come home. This is wonderful.

What you need to do is talk to your pastor about your desire to come back to the Church. Ask about having your marriage regularized and blessed in the Church so that you can offer a good confession and return to a Sacramental life.

If for some reason your pastor does not wish to work with you and your wife to regularize your marriage, hear your confession, and welcome you back into the Faith, then pray for him and find another priest or call the diocese.

Again, I applaud you for wanting to come back to the Church and I am sorry that the priest you talked to did not explain what needed to be done for you and your wife to have a valid marriage and to return to the full communion with the Church. He should have explained and worked with you to accomplish your reconciliation.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary