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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Is it ok for me to get Married Civily?	Tizoc	Tuesday, November 9, 2004
Question: Im catholic and my girlfriend is pentecostal. She is divorced, her marriage only lasted a couple years. We have been going out for about two years now and just had a baby boy. Her parents are pastors so they had to kick her out of their house, which belongs to their church. We are both trying to be good christians, we stopped having sex, and anything that would be moraly wrong, and read the bible, and we go to each others church. She has no problem marrying me in the Catholic Church, and Baptising our son. She has started the annullment process, but it is taking for ever, one priest told me that it is almost for sure that it will pass. Another priest told me to go ahead and marry her civily (my girlfriend wants to so bad). They dont see any difference between civil and church marriages. She says that it will help her spiritualy, so I want to, and I have started to look around for a ring. Do you see anything wrong with us getting married?
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+ Tizoc: It is laudable that after making the mistake you made of pre-marital sex that you now wish to obey God and be a good Christian and therefore avoid further sexual contact with each other. I praise God for that and God will certainly bless you for such a decision. But, do not ruin that... Whoever that priest was that told you to go ahead and get civilly married should be horse-whipped and sent to a monastery in Outer Mongolia for re-education. He will stand before God for encouraging you to gravely sin. If you get married anywhere before the annulment is granted you and your girlfriend will be living in concubinage (fornicating) and thus be in a state of continual sin and therefore risking your soul. You will be barred from receiving the Sacraments. If you get married outside of the Church, regardless of the annulment, your marriage will be invalid and again you will be living in sin, barred from the Sacraments, and risking your soul. Your girlfriend's spirituality will NOT be helped by getting married like this; it will be destroyed. One cannot improve one's spirituality by spitting on God and flipping one's nose at God and immaturely going off to fornicate. That is what you two will be doing if you get married outside of the Church. Also, as a Catholic, you MUST attend Mass every weekend. You cannot alternate between the Catholic Church and her church and thus missing Mass. Going to her church DOES NOT count as your Sunday obligation. We will pray for you and your girlfriend's and your family. Please avoid the lust and God will give you the strength to wait until the annulment is approved and then you can get married properly. As the old saying goes, "True love waits" while immaturity, hormones, and lust do not. Do not give the devil the opportunity to smear your relationship with each other and with God. Resist the devil and he will flee. Resist the temptation and you will be rewarded. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Is it ok for me to get Married Civily?

Tizoc

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Question:

Im catholic and my girlfriend is pentecostal. She is divorced, her marriage only lasted a couple years. We have been going out for about two years now and just had a baby boy. Her parents are pastors so they had to kick her out of their house, which belongs to their church.

We are both trying to be good christians, we stopped having sex, and anything that would be moraly wrong, and read the bible, and we go to each others church. She has no problem marrying me in the Catholic Church, and Baptising our son.

She has started the annullment process, but it is taking for ever, one priest told me that it is almost for sure that it will pass.

Another priest told me to go ahead and marry her civily (my girlfriend wants to so bad). They dont see any difference between civil and church marriages. She says that it will help her spiritualy, so I want to, and I have started to look around for a ring.

Do you see anything wrong with us getting married?

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+

Tizoc:

It is laudable that after making the mistake you made of pre-marital sex that you now wish to obey God and be a good Christian and therefore avoid further sexual contact with each other. I praise God for that and God will certainly bless you for such a decision.

But, do not ruin that...

Whoever that priest was that told you to go ahead and get civilly married should be horse-whipped and sent to a monastery in Outer Mongolia for re-education. He will stand before God for encouraging you to gravely sin.

If you get married anywhere before the annulment is granted you and your girlfriend will be living in concubinage (fornicating) and thus be in a state of continual sin and therefore risking your soul. You will be barred from receiving the Sacraments.

If you get married outside of the Church, regardless of the annulment, your marriage will be invalid and again you will be living in sin, barred from the Sacraments, and risking your soul.

Your girlfriend's spirituality will NOT be helped by getting married like this; it will be destroyed. One cannot improve one's spirituality by spitting on God and flipping one's nose at God and immaturely going off to fornicate. That is what you two will be doing if you get married outside of the Church.

Also, as a Catholic, you MUST attend Mass every weekend. You cannot alternate between the Catholic Church and her church and thus missing Mass. Going to her church DOES NOT count as your Sunday obligation.

We will pray for you and your girlfriend's and your family. Please avoid the lust and God will give you the strength to wait until the annulment is approved and then you can get married properly.

As the old saying goes, "True love waits" while immaturity, hormones, and lust do not. Do not give the devil the opportunity to smear your relationship with each other and with God. Resist the devil and he will flee. Resist the temptation and you will be rewarded.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum