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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Meaning of Ben Saturday, October 30, 2004

Question:

Our parish has conducted discussion groups on the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I was left confused by the section on "The Love of Husband and Wife." #2362 seems to say that the marriage act is "noble and honorable," but then calls it a "chaste union."

 #2365 says "Through conjugal chastity, they bear witness to this mystery (Christ's fidelity to His church) before the world."

I can't get a satisfactory definition of chastity in marriage or "chaste union." I have read other answers you have given regarding intimacy in marriage, and you seem to say that marital pleasure is good and God-ordained. But the Catechism, in saying that conjugal chastity is to be practiced, seems to be saying that intimacy should be practiced as rarely as possible, with a minimum of pleasure taken from it, and that intimacy between spouses is to be discouraged or strictly regulated in some way.

Could you clarify what the Catechism is saying here? I think everyone in the study group was too embarassed to ask the pastor.

Why can't the Church just come out and clearly say that sexuality in marriage is good, instead of seeming to give reluctant approval combined with "discouraging words?" Thank you.



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+

Dear Ben:

I will be more than happy to clarify this question. The Church is absolutely clear that the marital embrace is a good and necessary thing and does not discourage it at all. The Church gives its resounding approval and encouragement of the marital embrace. In fact the Church teaches that the marital embrace is normally needed for the health of the marriage (the bonding factor) in addition to its procreative function.

The problem, it seems, is a misunderstanding of the term "conjugal chastity". This should have been explained in the discussion group by the leader. Please pass this on to other members of your group to clear up any misunderstandings.

I will quote from Father Hardon's Dictionary:

Conjugal Chastity: The virtue of chastity to be practiced by the married. This means marital fidelity between husband and wife, which forbids adultery; mutual respect of each other's dignity, which forbids any unnatural sexual activity, or sodomy; and the practice of natural intercourse that does not interfere with the life process, which forbids contraception.

This Conjugal Chasity means:

1) fidelity to one's spouse (not committing adultery either literally or in one's heart)

2) respect for the dignity of each other (not pressuring or forcing the spouse to practice unwanted sexual activity, not using sex as a weapon or as a manipulative tool against one's spouse, not withholding sex as a punishment against the spouse, not participating in practices that degrade the human person and human dignity, such as sadomasochism, domination, etc.)

3) always being open to life according to Church teaching concerning contraception

Within these three requirements, a married couple may enjoy each other in the marital embrace as they mutually desire.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary


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