Dear Isidore:

Derogatory slang words are not the Christian way. Whoever it is that is using that language is out-of-line and committing a sin against the virtue of charity.

Those like yourself struggle with these feelings in trying to live a good and holy life. We need to support and be compassionate to all people with same-sex attractions, homosexuals, transgenders, etc. who are trying to live a chaste and holy life.

To those who do not seek God and his truth we need to evangelize like we would do with any non-believer, always compassionate, but without compromise to the truth.

I was privileged to be a catalyst for a homosexual woman who was healed completely of homosexual orientation. I spoke to her with understanding and love explaining the Church teaching on this subject. Later, the Holy Spirit came to her and confirmed all that I said. She then went to confession and to Mass for the first time in a long time. There was a healing priest at the Mass. She was prayed over but nothing happened. On her way home, however, she told me that she felt like an electrical charge went from her feet, through her body, and out through her head. At that moment, she said, she was completely healed and no longer a homosexual. Praise God.

You need to do what all of us need to do — Take captive every thought in obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

The following techniques can help with this:

1. We need to bounce are eyes away from the person of our attraction.
2. We need to pop out of our head the lustful thoughts that pop in.
3. We need to distract ourselves when tempted, such as doing the dishes or mowing the lawn, whatever. By the time one finishes the task the temptation will usually have faded.
4. We need to avoid the near occasion of sin ( do not get too close to things or people that will tempt you).
5. Avoid any and all triggers, that is, anything that may trigger a lustful thought

It takes discipline and practice, but such techniques help. This however, does not the most important "techniques" of prayer, devotion, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, the Sacraments of Confession and the Eucharist, and living the Christ-life as best as you can.

I am the director of the Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. We use what we call the 20 Steps to a Pure Heart and Mind. These 20 steps can help you, too.

To answer your question: No, you are not a liberal or effeminate at all for believing in charity. You are being a good Christian.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary