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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Stopping Dialysis	Chas	Saturday, January 23, 2016
Question: My mother-in-law whom I dearly love is 95, very sound mind, strong heart, very alert. She has severe arthritis is in constant pain, not severe all the times, and in the mornings, since she lives with us, I help her get up. Some mornings she is in tears from the pain. She is heavy set and unable to do anything on her own. She can't walk and my wife has to bathe her, change her clothes, comb her hair, go to bathroom, etc. We do practically every for her and I cook for her and I don't mind it a bit. I am retired so I am home all the time. My wife works part time four days a week for us to make ends meet. We depend on our Lord for financial assistance and praise be to God, we have never had to ask people for money. To top it all off my mother-in-law has to go to dialysis three times a week and has been going for over 10 years. She feels useless and thinks she is a burden. Yes, I have to admit I do get tired and so does my wife but we find strength in Our Lord and we don't mind at all helping her. She has four other daughters, (no sons) but unfortunately they don't help much with the daily routines. (Won't go into details as that is neither here nor there). The question has to do with my mother-in-law in that she told my wife she wants to see about making funeral arrangements and after that she wants to stop dialysis. I have gotten some information that it is not a sin to stop dialysis and let nature take its course and that the Church does not consider it suicide. She has told my wife about her plans but does not want her other daughters to know about it, yet. My question also is this: How should we handle it? I know that once a person stops dialysis he/she may live one or two weeks. Thank you for your advise.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD Dear Chas: I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. We will surely pray for her. My 85 year old father is undergoing dialysis, thus I am familiar with this issue. The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops says: “We have a duty to preserve our life and to use it for the glory of God, but the duty to preserve life is not absolute, for we may reject life-prolonging procedures that are insufficiently beneficial or excessively burdensome. Suicide and euthanasia are never morally acceptable options.” The last sentence refers to someone being put to death (euthanasia) or someone taking action to kill oneself (suicide). Stopping a life-prolonging procedure allows for a natural death. This is not suicide. Before one chooses to cease a life-prolonging procedure like dialysis, careful, thoughtful, and prayerful consideration should be made. Your mother-in-law needs to pray about this, talk to family, and to doctors (to learn what will happen after dialysis stops). Both she and the family need to approach this in respect and love. It is ultimately your mother-in-law's decision, which needs to be respected. Family members should not oppose this decision because they do not want to let go of her, and your mother-in-law should not decide this because she feels to be a burden. Both of these positions are selfish. That is, both positions are making decisions for other people that are inappropriate in my opinion. When family members pressure the loved-one to not stop the procedure because they do not want to let go, this is selfish as they want what they want instead of respecting what the sick loved-one wants. When the sick loved-one want to die because she feels a burden on others, this too is selfish because she fails to respect the decision of care-givers who are caring she her out of love. She needs to let the caregivers receive the grace that comes from their sacrifice to freely and lovingly care for her. The decision of your mother-in-law needs to be thoughtful and considered. She needs to pray about this. If she decides that dialysis is "insufficiently beneficial or excessively burdensome", that is burdensome on her, not on others in my opinion, and decides to stop the dialysis, then it is a good decision that she may make. In any event, this is her decision. Whatever she decides needs to be respected. Allowing "nature to take its course" is not suicide and is an acceptable alternative in the eyes of the Church. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Stopping Dialysis

Chas

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Question:

My mother-in-law whom I dearly love is 95, very sound mind, strong heart, very alert. She has severe arthritis is in constant pain, not severe all the times, and in the mornings, since she lives with us, I help her get up. Some mornings she is in tears from the pain. She is heavy set and unable to do anything on her own. She can't walk and my wife has to bathe her, change her clothes, comb her hair, go to bathroom, etc. We do practically every for her and I cook for her and I don't mind it a bit. I am retired so I am home all the time. My wife works part time four days a week for us to make ends meet. We depend on our Lord for financial assistance and praise be to God, we have never had to ask people for money.

To top it all off my mother-in-law has to go to dialysis three times a week and has been going for over 10 years. She feels useless and thinks she is a burden. Yes, I have to admit I do get tired and so does my wife but we find strength in Our Lord and we don't mind at all helping her. She has four other daughters, (no sons) but unfortunately they don't help much with the daily routines. (Won't go into details as that is neither here nor there).

The question has to do with my mother-in-law in that she told my wife she wants to see about making funeral arrangements and after that she wants to stop dialysis. I have gotten some information that it is not a sin to stop dialysis and let nature take its course and that the Church does not consider it suicide.

She has told my wife about her plans but does not want her other daughters to know about it, yet. My question also is this: How should we handle it? I know that once a person stops dialysis he/she may live one or two weeks.

Thank you for your advise.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD

Dear Chas:

I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. We will surely pray for her. My 85 year old father is undergoing dialysis, thus I am familiar with this issue.

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops says: “We have a duty to preserve our life and to use it for the glory of God, but the duty to preserve life is not absolute, for we may reject life-prolonging procedures that are insufficiently beneficial or excessively burdensome. Suicide and euthanasia are never morally acceptable options.”

The last sentence refers to someone being put to death (euthanasia) or someone taking action to kill oneself (suicide). Stopping a life-prolonging procedure allows for a natural death. This is not suicide.

Before one chooses to cease a life-prolonging procedure like dialysis, careful, thoughtful, and prayerful consideration should be made. Your mother-in-law needs to pray about this, talk to family, and to doctors (to learn what will happen after dialysis stops).

Both she and the family need to approach this in respect and love. It is ultimately your mother-in-law's decision, which needs to be respected. Family members should not oppose this decision because they do not want to let go of her, and your mother-in-law should not decide this because she feels to be a burden. Both of these positions are selfish. That is, both positions are making decisions for other people that are inappropriate in my opinion.

When family members pressure the loved-one to not stop the procedure because they do not want to let go, this is selfish as they want what they want instead of respecting what the sick loved-one wants.

When the sick loved-one want to die because she feels a burden on others, this too is selfish because she fails to respect the decision of care-givers who are caring she her out of love. She needs to let the caregivers receive the grace that comes from their sacrifice to freely and lovingly care for her.

The decision of your mother-in-law needs to be thoughtful and considered. She needs to pray about this. If she decides that dialysis is "insufficiently beneficial or excessively burdensome", that is burdensome on her, not on others in my opinion, and decides to stop the dialysis, then it is a good decision that she may make.

In any event, this is her decision. Whatever she decides needs to be respected. Allowing "nature to take its course" is not suicide and is an acceptable alternative in the eyes of the Church.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum