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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Marital Intimacy with Senior Spouses	Larry	Thursday, March 19, 2015
Question: A question about marital intimacy for our senior citizens: A while ago at a conference on marriage – pre-Cana to the marriage liturgy – there was a presentation by a layman on the Theology of the Body. In the course of the discussion the question came up about senior (65-75 years) couple’s intimacy who, for medical reasons (ED, menopause, etc), could not engage in the marital act. The presenter stated, “If a couple cannot participate in the marital act then any actions that could result in sexual arousal must always be avoided.” This caused a bit of a concern for the group among which were healthy, active seniors still dedicated to each other spiritually, mentally and physically. Obviously any such intimate activity should always avoid deliberate ejaculation, but does his comment mean that seniors must now live in separate bedrooms and as brother and sister with no bonding sexual contact? In discussing this with confessors and retreat masters they differ from this presenter’s information. Some saying that such consensual spousal sexual intimacy, even without intercourse, is a loving marital expression. I would appreciate your insights. Blessings on your work, Deacon Larry
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD Dear Deacon: Certainly a married couple does not need to live as brother and sister. Cuddling and kissing, for example, is a form of intimacy that one would not do with a sibling. When intercourse is not possible a married couple may snuggle and fondle each other’s genitals, though not to the point of having an orgasm. The couple may find in this some sexual arousal and find it satisfying.¹ This level of intimacy must still be a mutual self-giving and not a means to itself for pleasure. Fondling to the point of orgasm is essentially mutual masturbation and is not permitted. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary _____________ ¹The Way of the Lord Jesus:a moral theology for today’s Catholics, Volume 3, Question 29, http://www.twotlj.org/G-3-V-3.html, accessed 24 March 2015 Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Marital Intimacy with Senior Spouses

Larry

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Question:

A question about marital intimacy for our senior citizens: A while ago at a conference on marriage – pre-Cana to the marriage liturgy – there was a presentation by a layman on the Theology of the Body. In the course of the discussion the question came up about senior (65-75 years) couple’s intimacy who, for medical reasons (ED, menopause, etc), could not engage in the marital act. The presenter stated, “If a couple cannot participate in the marital act then any actions that could result in sexual arousal must always be avoided.” This caused a bit of a concern for the group among which were healthy, active seniors still dedicated to each other spiritually, mentally and physically. Obviously any such intimate activity should always avoid deliberate ejaculation, but does his comment mean that seniors must now live in separate bedrooms and as brother and sister with no bonding sexual contact?

In discussing this with confessors and retreat masters they differ from this presenter’s information. Some saying that such consensual spousal sexual intimacy, even without intercourse, is a loving marital expression. I would appreciate your insights.

Blessings on your work,

Deacon Larry

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD

Dear Deacon:

Certainly a married couple does not need to live as brother and sister. Cuddling and kissing, for example, is a form of intimacy that one would not do with a sibling.

When intercourse is not possible a married couple may snuggle and fondle each other’s genitals, though not to the point of having an orgasm. The couple may find in this some sexual arousal and find it satisfying.¹ This level of intimacy must still be a mutual self-giving and not a means to itself for pleasure.

Fondling to the point of orgasm is essentially mutual masturbation and is not permitted.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

_____________

¹The Way of the Lord Jesus:a moral theology for today’s Catholics, Volume 3, Question 29, http://www.twotlj.org/G-3-V-3.html, accessed 24 March 2015

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum