Dear Maria:

Sorry about the delay in answering.

Marie, all those reading this, please do not use "texting" language. Spell out your words. The use of texting language is subject to rejecting the question for publication.

There is no such thing as one person in the world who is a unique partner or one's soul mate. Soul mates are created by the love and devotion of the man and the woman as they develop and grow their relationship. It comes of a mutual self-giving to one another. As long as both partner do this, pretty much anyone can be a soul mate.

If it was God's will that John and Sally get married, but John marries someone else God will bless John's marriage and direct Sally to someone else. No one has lost a soul mate.

You need to let go of this. The man you were in love with is gone. You need to get over it and move on with your life. Until you put this behind you and move on with your life you will never find happiness with someone else.

You can pray that God will bring someone across your path that will be a good husband. Then you need to go out and begin dating. If you do not start dating it is impossible to find someone. If you do not put your former relationship behind you it will be very difficult for anyone to be interested in you. It is over Maria, this guy is not your soul mate. Move on.

The Bible tells us that sometimes our prayers may be ineffectual when we pray for the wrong things. You have been praying for the wrong thing. This fella as made his decision. All the prayers in the world will not change that. Prayer is not magick that makes people do things.

You ask, "what is the point of praying if our lives depend on other people's free will." You need to stop this kind of thinking. You are expecting prayer to force people to bend to your will. That kind of prayer is what witches and occultist do. They try to force people to decide things according to what they want.

Proper prayer is a petition to God. Jesus gives us the perfect example in the Garden when he ask the Father if this cup of going to the Cross had to be. Jesus then said, "nevertheless thy will be done."

What prayer can do is for God to arrange that John and Sally cross paths so they can meet each other. He can encourage John and Sally, but He will never force them to get together. John and Sally must decide that for themselves.

This means that we must accept what is. If John makes another decision, then we move on.

Free will is a gift from God that makes us human, it makes us in the image of God. It is a gift of love because it is not possible to love anyone, including God, without free will. Love must be freely chosen, it cannot be forced. Trying to force it is not love but abuse or even rape. Love must be freely chosen for it to be love.

Without free will we would be mere animals. We are not mere animals, but human beings made in the image of God. 

I think you need to read and pray the prayers contained in our document, "Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Freedom." You need to be freed from this bondage to your previous relationship and the thinking errors about prayer that you have made for yourself.

John Cojans wrote about Steps to Getting Closer to God. Here is an excerpt:

... If you really want to know God you must spend some time with Him. St. James tells us 'draw nearer to God and He will draw nearer to you.' So, take the necessary steps today:

1. Get right with God -- confess your sin and turn away from the things you are doing wrong.

2. Recommit your life to Jesus: for example, say this prayer 'Lord, Jesus, I recommit my life to you -- I ask forgiveness of my sins -- I ask that you would come into my life -- be my Lord. Lead me and guide me all the days of my life. I thank you Jesus. Amen.'

3. Set aside a specific time each day to spend with God. For some people mornings are best, with others its evenings. To begin each day try to spend at least 15-30 minutes praying and reading your Bible. Read a little, then think about what you have read and then talk to God about it from your heart -- then read some more etc. As your schedule permits increase your time with God.

4. Get involved in prayer groups, bible studies, and other church activities. Read good Christian material.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary