| Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
|---|---|---|
| Something to share and some questions | Urd | Monday, December 22, 2014 |
Question: Hi, I've been reading your site for a long time and I've learned many things. There are many deliverance prayers in the Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog but I’m looking for a prayer that deals with trauma. I need healing for that. I need advise on which prayer should I use. I've been sexually harassed by some of my male playmates. When I noticed that I stayed away from them. And also our school disciplinarian, my friend’s father. Despite that I was never raped. It is because I was able to avoid them. My experience is more on touching and verbal. When I was 4, I witnessed my parents having sex. I was so curious about it. I didn't stop thinking about it. My mother also upsets me many times even up to this day. She is born Catholic but not practicing. She is very superstitious. She can see ghosts. She brought me to many occult practitioners in the past. My parents are very possessive. They are the number one cause of my depression. But they are loving parents and I know they are not perfect. I was into horoscopes, lucky charms, superstition, etc. But I’m not contented and I’m still depressed. I’ve read many Catholic articles, especially on exorcisms, apparitions, happiness, inspiration, and healing. I attended a seminar that talked about healing but they talked about intergenerational healing which somehow intrigues me. That seminar helped me because I threw away my lucky charms, I stopped believing in horoscopes, superstition and anything New Age. I destroyed my DVD entitled “The Secret”. I confessed them to priest. I became allergic to them. I don’t want to listen to anything that is not Catholic. But we must admit that there are Catholics who teach heresies like charismatics and others that are listed in your website. 1. I told you earlier that when I was a child, I was thinking a lot of sex. Do you think this has something to do with the harassments I experienced as a child? According to the Law of Attraction, you attract what you think. That’s why I’m attracting maniacs even if I’m not wearing flirty clothes and not flirting to them. But this is New Age right? So that means this is wrong. And besides there are many children who are victims of rape and they didn’t do anything wrong. 2. I have learned through an exorcism book and the seminar that people who go to occult practitioners as a child mostly grew up depressed. I already confessed this to the priest. This is the main reason why I pray deliverance prayers but not every day, just the St. Michael prayer and consecration to Mama Mary . Is this enough? 3. What is the best way for God to answer my most desired prayers? I already made confessions, novenas, offered masses. I pray for the souls in purgatory as my charity act because my strict parents will never allow me to leave the house for long to do service; besides I don’t know how to do that. I’m not good at serving. But God still does not answer my prayers. I don’t know what I did wrong. I know I have problems with my anger but I’m working with that already, but it’s difficult. Forgiveness, yes, I said that I forgive my parents but they continue to upset me. It is the grace of God that I did not commit suicide although I thought of that many times in the past. Lack of faith? How will I know that my faith is lacking? Lack of trust?-- This I think because when I pray I don’t expect a “yes” from God because since “No” is also an answer, I’m not confident that God will grant it. When God doesn’t answer my prayer, I thought that may be it’s a “No.” But I asked myself is it always a “No”, may be there’s something else that I don’t know. 4. Are there specific prayers to change the attitude of my parents? Novena to St. Monica when she wanted to change St. Augustine? But this is not a guarantee because as I’ve said I’ve made many novenas and God didn’t answer. 5. Many people asked why I’m still single. I tell them many answers. I always thought that it is because of my first love, but later on I realized that it is not the reason. I believe it’s trauma and the circumstances . This took me many years to realize. When a guy shows interest in me, I avoided him. Some guys see me as intimidating. The men I encountered in my life offended me in many ways (starting from my father) . When I told this to a priest, he said that, “If God wants you to be with someone, circumstances will drive you together.” He is implying that may be God doesn’t want me to get married. But I don’t want to be a nun. He also told me to look at the raising of the host and chalice and ask for the healing from trauma. I did that. I don’t feel any change. Do you think God doesn’t want me to get married? Because the circumstances won’t let me meet the right guy and it is God who mostly controls circumstances. |
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| Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD
Dear Urd: Sorry for the delay. I was with family for Christmas. Hope you had a Merry Christmas. I am sorry to hear about the traumas and difficulties in your life. We will be praying for you. On Question 1: It appears that your pre-occupation with thoughts of sex began with witnessing your parents. Sometimes this happens. This pre-occupation probably lead to the later sexual harassments and molestation you experienced. While those who have been molested seem to attract perpetrator this is not the Law of Attraction taught by the New Thought movement. Rather, perpetrators may observe certain body language that develops in people who have been traumatized. This body language is subconscious and not deliberate on the part of the child. There is no such thing as a child doing something wrong to cause sexual harassment, molestation, or rape. The child is always innocent. The fault is always with the perpetrator. You did absolutely nothing wrong. All this can, and often does, lead to sexual addiction. I would encourage you to check out our Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. On Question 2: Depression is a common result of visiting occult practitioners, but depression does not always happen. If you confessed this then the sin has been forgiven and no longer exists. Consequences of this sin, however, may remain in which spiritual warfare prayers are helpful to deal with that. The St. Michael prayer and the consecration to our Blessed Mother are great prayers. I would also suggest the personal Hedge Prayer of Protection found in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog. Other prayers in the Catalog may be useful as well. You can pray these prayers as often as you feel the need. On Question 3: God always answers our prayers, but His answers will be what is best for us and will be accomplished in His time. We cannot, however, bribe God to answer our prayers. We must humbly offer our prayers and accept whatever the answer may be. We must resign ourselves to His will. In that, I recommend that you read and pray the prayers found in our pamphlet Resignation and Abandonment to God's Will. God will help you with your problems, to give you strength to resolve your problems, but He will not do it for you. You must work on your problems, and with God's help we can hope those problems will be resolved. But, there is not guarantee the problems will be resolved. Sometimes God allows the problems to persist for our own good. Having to struggle can be a good thing in that it can make you a stronger Christian, it can strengthen and increase your faith if you let it. Remember Romans 8:28 ~ "We know that in everything God works for good[a] with those who love him,[b] who are called according to his purpose." If we let Him, God will bring something good even out of bad things. In other words, when life gives us lemons, He will make sweet lemonade if we let him. We learn from the story of the thorn in the side of St. Paul that sometimes God will allow the thorn for our benefit. St. Paul prayed three times for God to take away his affliction, but God said no three times. The Bible tells us that the reason God said no was that Paul was a proud man and to keep the affliction would serve to make him humble.
It is also important to realize that God will never intrude upon Free Will. He can try to convince a person to make the right decision, but He will never force a person. Thus, when we pray about something that requires that we or someone else make a decision, it may not happen no matter how much God wants it because God will not force anyone to make the right decisions. It is good that you forgive your parents. That is the right decision, but God will not change their behavior that upsets you since your parents must make a decision on their own to change whatever needs to be changed. Also, the change may need to be with you, such as developing patience, which God may want of you. Concerning Faith: It faith is believing without seeing, believing even when there is no proof, believing even when things do not do the way you want them to. It is trust. It is believing in the promises of God. Two of the greatest promises of God after his promise to forgive us are these:
That means that all things, the good and the bad, will be used for good if we let God. We can trust God on this because God is not liar. But, we must do our part. We must let God do this in our lives. He does not force His promises upon us.
God never abandons us. He is always by our side. We also learn from St. Peter who walked on the water toward Jesus. He could walk on the water until he noticed the storms around him. Then he began to sink. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus he could walk on water. [Matthew 14:28-31] Thus, we, too, need to keep on eyes on Jesus instead of all the storms (problems) around us. On Question 4: As I mentioned before God does not force people. He will not force your parents to change their attitude. They must make that decision, but God can encourage them to change. That is where your prayers come in. Your prayers can help to remove the "static" in your parents so that the Holy Spirit can more easily try to convince them. Just keep up your prayers. But, there are no guarantee. God is answering your prayers, but your parents must make the decision. Perseverance and patience are the key. St. Monica persevered in her prayer. So must you. On Question 5: God may want you to get married, but he is not going to force this. You must do your part by doing the things that you need to do to find someone. It will be hard to find someone to marry if you avoid anyone who shows interest in you. This avoidance, of course, is a result of the trauma. It would be very beneficial if you sought professional counseling to deal with this. These traumas are tough and usually takes the help of a professional counselor. Praying for healing when the host is raised is an excellent idea. But, you seem to want instant change. It is not likely to happen that way. You must persevere in the prayers, plus do things needed to help yourself like seeking counseling. It may take years for you to be healed. In terms of circumstances, God does not control circumstances because, as explained above, circumstances requires the decisions of people and God will not force people to make decisions. Some Recommendations: You may want to check out the book, My Peace I Give You: Healing Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints by Dawn Eden. This book tells the story of how the lives of the saints gave Dawn hope and aided her journey of spiritual healing after childhood sexual abuse. Also, I recommend that you go though our Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. This will hopefully help you to get rid of any demonic elements. Here is a healing prayer:
We will be praying for you. God Bless, Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum
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