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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Re:is marriage allowed if one had sex before	maria	Thursday, October 2, 2014
Question: Hi brother As you have recommended I do see a psychologist. I did not contact him for 2 weeks but then I did again . He apologises for what he has done and he says he will be with me for anything I need. He says he loves me but had to do this because of family. Right now we contact each other and he helps me with some of my reports, motivates me to not to be depressed, tells me to pray,also encourage me to lead a married life. He says God will give me someone better than him... I feel wanted when I talk to him. But I do in my heart wish that he could be mine. I hate when I know he speaks to his fiancé. I'm trying to accept that he is going to marry her. I know he never really slept with me just for pleasure . It was sure we will get married. Can I still love him the way I used to? I can never hate him or forget him. But I will never do anything that disobeys the 6th commandment again. But sometimes I remember the times we were together and I just wish it would be like that again. But I know the reality. I really never want to hurt God the way I did. I made a good confession. Is it wrong if I still contact him. My love for him is not lust. Can't we still love each other purely. I hope I'm not bothering you with my story.i really need spiritual advice.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD Dear Maria: Your relationship with this man was disordered and dysfunctional. There was no real love there, and even if you think there was you are no longer with him, he has a fiancé and you need to stay out of it. You are still clinging, which is disordered. In addition, any contact you have could endanger his relationship with his fiancé. This can be emotional adultery, if not physical adultery. It is intruding into their relationship. You cannot ever have a healthy relationship with this man. Plus, your own psychological issues preclude any contact being healthy. You need to sever ALL contact with this man. If he contacts you, do not respond. If he calls you tell him not to call back. ALL, ALL, ALL contact with this man must cease immediately. This is for your spiritual health as well as psychological health. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Re:is marriage allowed if one had sex before

maria

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Question:

Hi brother

As you have recommended I do see a psychologist. I did not contact him for 2 weeks but then I did again .

He apologises for what he has done and he says he will be with me for anything I need. He says he loves me but had to do this because of family. Right now we contact each other and he helps me with some of my reports, motivates me to not to be depressed, tells me to pray,also encourage me to lead a married life. He says God will give me someone better than him...

I feel wanted when I talk to him. But I do in my heart wish that he could be mine. I hate when I know he speaks to his fiancé. I'm trying to accept that he is going to marry her. I know he never really slept with me just for pleasure . It was sure we will get married.

Can I still love him the way I used to? I can never hate him or forget him. But I will never do anything that disobeys the 6th commandment again. But sometimes I remember the times we were together and I just wish it would be like that again. But I know the reality. I really never want to hurt God the way I did. I made a good confession.

Is it wrong if I still contact him. My love for him is not lust. Can't we still love each other purely. I hope I'm not bothering you with my story.i really need spiritual advice.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), LTh, DD

Dear Maria:

Your relationship with this man was disordered and dysfunctional. There was no real love there, and even if you think there was you are no longer with him, he has a fiancé and you need to stay out of it. You are still clinging, which is disordered. In addition, any contact you have could endanger his relationship with his fiancé. This can be emotional adultery, if not physical adultery. It is intruding into their relationship.

You cannot ever have a healthy relationship with this man. Plus, your own psychological issues preclude any contact being healthy.

You need to sever ALL contact with this man. If he contacts you, do not respond. If he calls you tell him not to call back. ALL, ALL, ALL contact with this man must cease immediately. This is for your spiritual health as well as psychological health.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum