Dear Marie:

You need to let this man go. Forget him. Get on with your life.

As for the culture in India, there are problematic practices in that culture. If you will be undergoing an arranged marriage, then follow your conscience on this matter as to whether or not to tell anyone about not being a virgin. I understand that this is a serious matter in some cultures. As such it may not be the best thing to be truthful on this matter. That is unfortunate, but if the culture is that way, then one must do that they must do. Thus, frankly, given the culture you are in and the practice of arranged marriage that you will undergo, i would advise not revealing this fact if you feel you must do that.

I do not understand why suicide is such a common idea in the Indian culture. I think it has to do with Hinduism, in which one will reincarnate. This false idea then makes life cheap.

Maria, suicide is an affront to God. Life belongs to God, not to us, thus we have no right to kill ourselves. When we threaten suicide we are saying we our are own god. Pray to God to take away this thought. Instead, trust in God, have faith in God, and know that He is the God of all things, including and especially life. He gave you life. Do not destroy what God has created. 

Romans 8:28 says that all things, good and bad, God can bring good things if we let him. Thus, all this misery you have suffered can be made into something good. For example, it is a good thing that you realize the mistakes. It is a good thing that this has lead you to seek God. You are seeking the right thing or you would not have written me. This promise says that God will help and heal us and bring life's problems into something good if we let him. This promise gives is the hope we need. Thus, suicide is not the answer. Trust in God and his promises.

As for God abandoning you, this God never does. But, God will never interfere with one's free will. If he forced us to make the right decision, then we would not be human beings, we would be mere animals. God made us in his image, which means that he gave us the power to choose, to have free will, so that we may choose to love Him. Love cannot be forced, it must be chosen. But, in giving us this free will, we also have the ability to choose badly. We can suffer from our own bad decisions or from the bad decisions of others.

You were seduced be a grown man. It was his free will decision that caused you to suffer. Once you were old enough to make adult decisions yourself, you choose to stay with him. God cannot interfere with these decisions. We make the decisions we make and we suffer the consequences of those decisions. God can and will forgive us of our sins, but the consequences remain.

God, however, is always there to heal you and to guide you into good decisions, but the decision is always yours to make.

God has never left you. Rather, the circumstances of what happen to you simply created a fog whereby you did not see Him standing right by your side. God makes a promise in Romans 8:35, 37-39. God does not lie. He keeps his promises:

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God was always there for you, but you must recognize that He is there and accept his help.

First, have no more to do with this man. Forget him and let him go his way. Have no contact with him or with his fiancé. Let them go their way.

Second, get on with your life.

Third, when you get on with your life, God can heal you, but you must let him do that. One way healing happens is by becoming devout. Focus on your Catholic faith. Become the best Catholic you know how to be. Pray to the saints to help you. Ask our Blessed Mother to comfort you and heal you.  Be sure to go to Holy Mass on each Sunday and Holy Days of Obligation. If you can get to daily Mass sometimes that would be great. From now on be pure in body and spirit. When you do sin, go to Confession.

Spend time in adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, sitting in front of the tabernacle if the Blessed Sacrament is not exposed in a monstrance. Tell God your trouble as you bath in the rays of the Son. Be sure to spend some time in adoration in silence.

In these ways, you can find healing.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary