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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Letting go or keeping someone special	Lee	Friday, October 8, 2004
Question: Dear Brother, I really don’t have a specific question to ask you, and you may not even post the answer because It really wouldn't edify any one about the Faith. However, your recent response to Omar about forgiveness almost seemed like it was meant for me. I met this person online almost two years ago (who lives about 400 miles away from me). I fell in love with this person who is also a practicing Catholic, and this person does their best to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. This person is genuine, compassionate, always willing to give, and is eager about being a true, practicing Catholic. This person always does their best to serve God – all of which are to me very important in a relationship. This person means the world to me. We visited each other quite a bit for a year. Unfortunately, the trust was broken when I betrayed this person by being deceitful and putting up a profile of me on an online matchmaking service. I did this because the hurt I experienced when I missed this person was tremendous and it compelled me to see if I could conveniently find someone else more local to me. This was a big betrayal, and although the other person has forgiven me, I doubt that I will ever be part of their life again. I can’t get this other person out of my mind. She was beautiful inside and out. We were always on the same page about many things, and I could see myself as a spouse of this person. Should I at least put forth some effort to see if I could possibly be with this person again, or should I move on? I wonder if this person was the answer to my prayers and I just let this person go for the sake of convenience. Would "true" love have prevented me from doing something so hurtful to someone I really loved? I have been praying about this for over a year. God bless, Joe
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+ Dear Joe: At best relationships are complicated. I am glad that I am not in the dating game myself :) From what you have described this person has forgiven you for your indiscretion and you have not had a relationship for a year at least. This implies that you two have talked, you have apologized, she accepted the apology, and then decided to go separate ways. If this is the case, does not that answer your question? It is time to move on. At best, I suppose, you could contact this woman and explain your feelings to her that you would like to continue seeing her. All she can do is say "no". If this has been an entire year, however, then I would suggest you not hold your breath. In addition, another important note is that Long Distance relationships rarely work out. I would say that this one, no matter how good a "catch" she was, is one that got away. Time to start fishing in another pond closer to home. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Letting go or keeping someone special

Lee

Friday, October 8, 2004

Question:

Dear Brother,

I really don’t have a specific question to ask you, and you may not even post the answer because It really wouldn't edify any one about the Faith. However, your recent response to Omar about forgiveness almost seemed like it was meant for me.

I met this person online almost two years ago (who lives about 400 miles away from me). I fell in love with this person who is also a practicing Catholic, and this person does their best to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. This person is genuine, compassionate, always willing to give, and is eager about being a true, practicing Catholic. This person always does their best to serve God – all of which are to me very important in a relationship.

This person means the world to me. We visited each other quite a bit for a year. Unfortunately, the trust was broken when I betrayed this person by being deceitful and putting up a profile of me on an online matchmaking service. I did this because the hurt I experienced when I missed this person was tremendous and it compelled me to see if I could conveniently find someone else more local to me. This was a big betrayal, and although the other person has forgiven me, I doubt that I will ever be part of their life again.

I can’t get this other person out of my mind. She was beautiful inside and out. We were always on the same page about many things, and I could see myself as a spouse of this person.

Should I at least put forth some effort to see if I could possibly be with this person again, or should I move on? I wonder if this person was the answer to my prayers and I just let this person go for the sake of convenience. Would "true" love have prevented me from doing something so hurtful to someone I really loved? I have been praying about this for over a year.

God bless,
Joe

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+

Dear Joe:

At best relationships are complicated. I am glad that I am not in the dating game myself :)

From what you have described this person has forgiven you for your indiscretion and you have not had a relationship for a year at least. This implies that you two have talked, you have apologized, she accepted the apology, and then decided to go separate ways.

If this is the case, does not that answer your question? It is time to move on.

At best, I suppose, you could contact this woman and explain your feelings to her that you would like to continue seeing her. All she can do is say "no". If this has been an entire year, however, then I would suggest you not hold your breath. In addition, another important note is that Long Distance relationships rarely work out.

I would say that this one, no matter how good a "catch" she was, is one that got away. Time to start fishing in another pond closer to home.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum