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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Disowned by brother	Frank	Saturday, October 5, 2013
Question: My oldest brother and his wife left the Catholic Church some 30 years ago and started their own church. My sis-in-law always thought she had a special gift and she would go into weird contortions during some prayer meetings. She left when she was told by the leaders that she was NOT do to those things and be disrupted during prayer time. They tried unsuccessfully to lure us to their church but have led some cousins away from the Church. A few weeks ago my sis-in-law called my other sis-in-law and told her that since all of us didn't want to go to her church (she is the so called pastor--self appointed) and that her church was her family, we would henceforth not be considered family. My sister said that since they seems to have disowned us, if she passes away before they do, she does not want them to know until after she is buried and I feel the same way. My sister said the does not want her family to be embarrassed by my brother and his wife like we all were when my mom, three of my closest aunts, uncle, and cousins where they literally walked out of the funeral home at the start of the Rosary because THEY are Christians and Christians do not pray the Rosary which they consider demonic. They want nothing to do with us since we belong to the Catholic Church and not their church. I have to agree on one thing with them. It is THEIR church and not the Church that Jesus founded. Do you think its OK for us to not let them know? I pray for them daily and have placed them in the hand of my Lord. I love them but since they want nothing to do with us I see no purpose in letting them know of our demise if we are called before them. Your thoughts.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC Dear Frank: I am sorry to hear about the splintering of your family, but remember Jesus said families will be ripped apart because of Him: (Matthew 10:34-36) "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household." Now, of course your wayward and profoundly arrogant relatives will think you are the culprit to split the family, but that is not true. They split from Jesus' Church and like rebellious teenagers started their own "church" in there own image. They will be held accountable before God for that. Pray for them. Despite this estrangement and hostility, I think they have a right to know about a family death. As to whether or not you inform them before the funeral and burial will be up to your conscience. Given the situation, if I were to inform them in advance of the Funeral I would probably make it clear that they are not welcomed unless they behave with Christian charity. Walking out in the middle of a service, for whatever reason, is not charitable, and frankly it is childish, petulant, sanctimonious, and loutish. These people are not only truculent, but are blatantly unchristian, to which they will have to answer to God for such behavior. I have gone to Protestant funerals in which the Protestant worldview is presented. I was not offended and certainly would not walk out because of it. There is such a thing as respect for the dead, and for their families. Such petulant behavior at a funeral is beyond childish and is rather narcissistic. Bottomline: It is a matter of your conscience as to whether or not these pugnacious and impudent relatives are informed of the death until after the burial. One thing is clear, if these relatives are not informed before the funeral and burial, the reason needs to be a calm and considered decision. Refusing to invite them out of revenge, bitterness, or emotional hurt is not a good thing. But, if they will not give proper respect, then they do not need to be there. We will be praying for your whole family. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Disowned by brother

Frank

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Question:

My oldest brother and his wife left the Catholic Church some 30 years ago and started their own church. My sis-in-law always thought she had a special gift and she would go into weird contortions during some prayer meetings. She left when she was told by the leaders that she was NOT do to those things and be disrupted during prayer time.

They tried unsuccessfully to lure us to their church but have led some cousins away from the Church. A few weeks ago my sis-in-law called my other sis-in-law and told her that since all of us didn't want to go to her church (she is the so called pastor--self appointed) and that her church was her family, we would henceforth not be considered family.

My sister said that since they seems to have disowned us, if she passes away before they do, she does not want them to know until after she is buried and I feel the same way. My sister said the does not want her family to be embarrassed by my brother and his wife like we all were when my mom, three of my closest aunts, uncle, and cousins where they literally walked out of the funeral home at the start of the Rosary because THEY are Christians and Christians do not pray the Rosary which they consider demonic. They want nothing to do with us since we belong to the Catholic Church and not their church. I have to agree on one thing with them. It is THEIR church and not the Church that Jesus founded.

Do you think its OK for us to not let them know? I pray for them daily and have placed them in the hand of my Lord. I love them but since they want nothing to do with us I see no purpose in letting them know of our demise if we are called before them.

Your thoughts.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC

Dear Frank:

I am sorry to hear about the splintering of your family, but remember Jesus said families will be ripped apart because of Him:

(Matthew 10:34-36) "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household."

Now, of course your wayward and profoundly arrogant relatives will think you are the culprit to split the family, but that is not true. They split from Jesus' Church and like rebellious teenagers started their own "church" in there own image. They will be held accountable before God for that. Pray for them.

Despite this estrangement and hostility, I think they have a right to know about a family death. As to whether or not you inform them before the funeral and burial will be up to your conscience.

Given the situation, if I were to inform them in advance of the Funeral I would probably make it clear that they are not welcomed unless they behave with Christian charity. Walking out in the middle of a service, for whatever reason, is not charitable, and frankly it is childish, petulant, sanctimonious, and loutish. These people are not only truculent, but are blatantly unchristian, to which they will have to answer to God for such behavior.

I have gone to Protestant funerals in which the Protestant worldview is presented. I was not offended and certainly would not walk out because of it. There is such a thing as respect for the dead, and for their families. Such petulant behavior at a funeral is beyond childish and is rather narcissistic.

Bottomline: It is a matter of your conscience as to whether or not these pugnacious and impudent relatives are informed of the death until after the burial. One thing is clear, if these relatives are not informed before the funeral and burial, the reason needs to be a calm and considered decision. Refusing to invite them out of revenge, bitterness, or emotional hurt is not a good thing. But, if they will not give proper respect, then they do not need to be there.

We will be praying for your whole family.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum