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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Living a dream or living in a dream world	Chas	Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Question: Dear brother About his young man I have talked to you about and is just 20 years old but still working to get a high school diploma. He did time because of stupid mistakes he made and now regrets and has repented. However, I feel that he is living in a dream world. He wants to be an NBA player and insists that one can accomplish anything they want as long as they put all their heart into it. I have told him that it is possible but one has to be realistic. He said his goal is very realistic. He is barely 5â€™3â€ť, has never played on a team before and his only so-called coach was when he did time and they had a team. The guy told him that he wasnâ€™t good enough but this boy refuses to accept reality. He says he will just train and then he will go to some team and ask to be given a try-out and they will see how good he is. He said there have been people who have succeeded against all odds. He said there was a 92-year-old lady who was able to get a college degree so there is nothing that cannot be done if one gets their mind to it. However, and I have failed to point this to him, is that they all had someone to lead them, coach them, train them etc. He plans to do it all by himself. He said that we all have to live our dream. I told him that we certainly should strive to live our dream but not live in a dream world. He is a nice kid and puts a lot of trust in me but he says he hates to be told he canâ€™t do something so he will just try and prove them wrong. By saying that is that not implying revenge in trying to accomplish something that we know is beyond our reach? He knows that the odds of making it are zero to nil, but he wants to prove everybody wrong and claim he will be the first to do it his way. Personally I feel that there is nothing wrong by being told one canâ€™t do something if they actually know better and have more wisdom in things of the world. I believe that things are not realistic simply by just saying it but have to look at the facts. How can I response to thing young man who I am ministering to and hoping to bring him into the Church. Thanks Chas
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC Dear Chas: He is young, which automatically makes him foolish. His brain is barely formed. The human brain is not fully formed until around 21 years of age. The last structure of the brain to form is that responsible for wisdom. This is why young people can intellectually know something to be true, yet ignore that knowledge and do something foolish anyway. Secondly, young men his age are arrogant and immature and rarely see reality. You have done all you can do. You will now have to let him find out for himself. There is a quote from Will Rogers that says, "There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." If you push him on this, you may push him away from the Church too. I think your primary focus ought to be helping him to convert to the Church. That is a given regardless of what dreams he has. You have to let him find out for himself the realities of life. You can be cautiously supportive, and when the balloon pops, which it likely will, be there to comfort him and encourage him into a different vocation. But, right now I think you need to focus on his faith. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Living a dream or living in a dream world

Chas

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Question:

Dear brother
About his young man I have talked to you about and is just 20 years old but still working to get a high school diploma. He did time because of stupid mistakes he made and now regrets and has repented. However, I feel that he is living in a dream world. He wants to be an NBA player and insists that one can accomplish anything they want as long as they put all their heart into it. I have told him that it is possible but one has to be realistic. He said his goal is very realistic. He is barely 5â€™3â€ť, has never played on a team before and his only so-called coach was when he did time and they had a team. The guy told him that he wasnâ€™t good enough but this boy refuses to accept reality. He says he will just train and then he will go to some team and ask to be given a try-out and they will see how good he is.

He said there have been people who have succeeded against all odds. He said there was a 92-year-old lady who was able to get a college degree so there is nothing that cannot be done if one gets their mind to it. However, and I have failed to point this to him, is that they all had someone to lead them, coach them, train them etc. He plans to do it all by himself. He said that we all have to live our dream. I told him that we certainly should strive to live our dream but not live in a dream world. He is a nice kid and puts a lot of trust in me but he says he hates to be told he canâ€™t do something so he will just try and prove them wrong. By saying that is that not implying revenge in trying to accomplish something that we know is beyond our reach? He knows that the odds of making it are zero to nil, but he wants to prove everybody wrong and claim he will be the first to do it his way.

Personally I feel that there is nothing wrong by being told one canâ€™t do something if they actually know better and have more wisdom in things of the world. I believe that things are not realistic simply by just saying it but have to look at the facts. How can I response to thing young man who I am ministering to and hoping to bring him into the Church.

Thanks

Chas

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC

Dear Chas:

He is young, which automatically makes him foolish. His brain is barely formed. The human brain is not fully formed until around 21 years of age. The last structure of the brain to form is that responsible for wisdom. This is why young people can intellectually know something to be true, yet ignore that knowledge and do something foolish anyway.

Secondly, young men his age are arrogant and immature and rarely see reality.

You have done all you can do. You will now have to let him find out for himself. There is a quote from Will Rogers that says, "There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."

If you push him on this, you may push him away from the Church too. I think your primary focus ought to be helping him to convert to the Church. That is a given regardless of what dreams he has. You have to let him find out for himself the realities of life. You can be cautiously supportive, and when the balloon pops, which it likely will, be there to comfort him and encourage him into a different vocation. But, right now I think you need to focus on his faith.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum