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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Overcoming Sexual Desires	Chas	Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Question: Dear Brother - I'm sorry for writing to you again so soon. I just wrote to you on July 11 regarding Rap Music. This 20 year old young man that is turning his life around comes by every day and we just talk and he asks me questions about God. However, he is struggling with sexual urges and it's frustrating him. I know that the sins of the flesh are really strong. I have to give him lots of credit though, as he says he has abstained from sexual intercourse and masturbation and refuses to give in. He says he can be very stubborn and insists he will NOT give in and wants to wait till he gets married. However, he is highly frustrated when the urges come so he comes over to talk to me. We pray and I talk to him and encourage him to continue to walk the right path. He says he knows from the bottom of his heart that he loves God and wants to follow Him and do His will. But he questions why he can't do it his own way and at least once a month release his desires. I told him that if he does it once a month, then he may want to do it once every three weeks, then every two weeks until he is doing it every day. I told him how sin can get a hold on him and he starts feeling less guilty each time. How does a young man, who is at the age when the hormones are going wild, suppress or overcome these urges. He also struggles with thoughts of past sexual sins. He says he does not dwell in them but the thoughts come like in a flash and he hates them and tries to do battle with them. I told him that he should NOT do battle with them as he is just feeding those thoughts but to let Jesus do the battle and invoke the Holy Spirit to come into his mind. I told him prayer and some athletic activity will help. I know it's not easy and looking back at my youth I know that didn't do the right thing. Thank you brother for your help.
Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC Dear Chas: Sorry for the delay in answering. I praise God that your friend has resisted the temptations. God tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." This is the promise of God. God is not a liar, He keeps his promises. God, however, does not force a person to walk through the door of escape. That is our choice. As for indulging once a month, in addition to the point that it is a slippery slope that leads to more and more frequent sin and the decrease in a sense of guilt, the most important point is that it is sin. God does not authorize sin once a month. Put it in another way, is it okay for a shoplifter, even one who may have an addiction, and urge to steal, to steal once a month to relieve the urge? Sin can never be allowed. God has given us all that we need to resist the temptations. 1 Cor 10:13 tells us that. As for how to resist these urges? take a cold shower. Actually, temptations tend to come in short windows of opportunity. When it happens we can avoid jumping out the window by preoccupying ourselves with something else, like washing dishes, mowing the lawn, anything. By the time the chore is finished the temptation will likely have passed. I call this "passing open windows". This is what is meant that "idle hands are the devil's workshop." The theological term is "occupation." We have a document called the 20 Steps to Ensure a Pure Heart and Mind that will be helpful. These 20 Steps are proven to work for those who will diligently follow them. As for past sins, what you told him is accurate. I would add that he can rebuke these thoughts each and every time they happen, such as, "I rebuke these thoughts of ____ and the spirits behind them. Father in heaven, take these thoughts from me, cast away the spirits behind them, and grant me only thoughts pleasing to you." Then let it go and think about something else. The "passing open windows" I mentioned above works for this too. Remind him that forgiven past sins no longer exist in the universe. God remembers them no more. It sounds like you are doing a good job with him. He is blessed to have you. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Overcoming Sexual Desires

Chas

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Question:

Dear Brother - I'm sorry for writing to you again so soon. I just wrote to you on July 11 regarding Rap Music. This 20 year old young man that is turning his life around comes by every day and we just talk and he asks me questions about God. However, he is struggling with sexual urges and it's frustrating him. I know that the sins of the flesh are really strong. I have to give him lots of credit though, as he says he has abstained from sexual intercourse and masturbation and refuses to give in. He says he can be very stubborn and insists he will NOT give in and wants to wait till he gets married. However, he is highly frustrated when the urges come so he comes over to talk to me. We pray and I talk to him and encourage him to continue to walk the right path.

He says he knows from the bottom of his heart that he loves God and wants to follow Him and do His will. But he questions why he can't do it his own way and at least once a month release his desires. I told him that if he does it once a month, then he may want to do it once every three weeks, then every two weeks until he is doing it every day. I told him how sin can get a hold on him and he starts feeling less guilty each time.

How does a young man, who is at the age when the hormones are going wild, suppress or overcome these urges.

He also struggles with thoughts of past sexual sins. He says he does not dwell in them but the thoughts come like in a flash and he hates them and tries to do battle with them. I told him that he should NOT do battle with them as he is just feeding those thoughts but to let Jesus do the battle and invoke the Holy Spirit to come into his mind. I told him prayer and some athletic activity will help. I know it's not easy and looking back at my youth I know that didn't do the right thing.

Thank you brother for your help.

Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), CCL, LTh, DD, LNDC

Dear Chas:

Sorry for the delay in answering.

I praise God that your friend has resisted the temptations. God tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 ~ "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

This is the promise of God. God is not a liar, He keeps his promises. God, however, does not force a person to walk through the door of escape. That is our choice.

As for indulging once a month, in addition to the point that it is a slippery slope that leads to more and more frequent sin and the decrease in a sense of guilt, the most important point is that it is sin.

God does not authorize sin once a month. Put it in another way, is it okay for a shoplifter, even one who may have an addiction, and urge to steal, to steal once a month to relieve the urge?

Sin can never be allowed. God has given us all that we need to resist the temptations. 1 Cor 10:13 tells us that.

As for how to resist these urges? take a cold shower. Actually, temptations tend to come in short windows of opportunity. When it happens we can avoid jumping out the window by preoccupying ourselves with something else, like washing dishes, mowing the lawn, anything. By the time the chore is finished the temptation will likely have passed. I call this "passing open windows". This is what is meant that "idle hands are the devil's workshop." The theological term is "occupation."

We have a document called the 20 Steps to Ensure a Pure Heart and Mind that will be helpful. These 20 Steps are proven to work for those who will diligently follow them.

As for past sins, what you told him is accurate. I would add that he can rebuke these thoughts each and every time they happen, such as, "I rebuke these thoughts of ____ and the spirits behind them. Father in heaven, take these thoughts from me, cast away the spirits behind them, and grant me only thoughts pleasing to you." Then let it go and think about something else. The "passing open windows" I mentioned above works for this too.

Remind him that forgiven past sins no longer exist in the universe. God remembers them no more.

It sounds like you are doing a good job with him. He is blessed to have you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum