Dear Liz:

The only purpose for dating is to find a mate. If one is not ready for marriage then they should not be dating. Age does not matter as long as they are of legal age. It is rather imprudent, however, for men to marry before the age of 26 or so, and women around 24 or so. This is because by these ages the people should be more mature and ready for marriage. However, in the U.S. adolescence seems to last until nearly 35. 

There can be problems marrying someone significantly younger or older. This is because of differing maturity, differing history and experiences and such, but there is no prohibition to marrying with a big age difference. I know of several successful marriages with a 20+ year difference in age.

We should never pray for a sign. Jesus said it is an evil and adulterous generation that seeks after signs. We go looking for signs and it may not be God who is giving the sign.

Rather, we need to be in prayer to listen for the still small voice. We need to evaluate our potential mates appropriately. We should marry within our own faith, the couple needs to respect their own selves and each other and follow Church teachings on pre-marital sex. If a potential mate does not want to wait, then they are not eligible for marriage. The person needs to be emotionally and spiritually mature, a devout Christian, and one who prays.

I always say to prospective mates to look at each other then think about the worst and most irritating attribute of their intended. Then I say, "If you cannot live with that irritating attribute for the rest of your life, then do not get married." One cannot "fix" their spouse. Women are the worst about this. If you think your can fix your man after marriage, you will likely not have a successful marriage. Either accept each other "as is" or do not get married.

Those are the pre-requisites. The rest is the natural development of love, warm regard, and commitment over time. In the old days one dated, went study, kept company, gave promise of possible marriage, then engagement, then marriage. Courtship is to be a process over time to see if this one is really the one to marry.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary