Dear Sam:

Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23). The opposite of patience is anger or wrath. We get angry when things do not happen as fast as we want them to happen. Patience is endurance thought moderation, peacefully resolving conflicts, having the grace to forgive, peaceful stability rather than suffering, hostility, and antagonism.

We should pray to God to ask for patience in our afflictions, desires, and wants always remembering to submit to God's will in all things.

In terms of relationships, the cliché, "True love waits," is precisely true. Love is patient and does not rush things. Thus, we must be patient about sex to wait until the wedding night. Patience in this regard is also about self-respect, dignity, and humility. We need to respect ourselves enough to wait until the wedding night, otherwise we lose our dignity in favor of the pride of impatience. Human dignity is never found in sin.

Any man who pressures you to have pre-marital sex is a man that does not respect you, does not desire to treat you with dignity, and is consumed with the sin of lust. Drop such a man immediately. I know it is difficult to find a man who wishes to honor God, his own body, and yours. But, you must hold out, that is, be patient, until one comes along.

The best place to look for such a man is in your parish Church. If there is a group for young singles, then join that group. There are also online Christian dating services, such as Catholic Singles. Be sure to include in your profile that you are looking for a man what respects the Church's teaching on pre-marital sex.

Never settle for anything less than a man who will treat you like a queen and respects the Church teaching.

Ask God to send you a good Catholic man, but always end any prayer with, "nevertheless, Thy will be done."

Do not despair to find a good man. Be not afraid. Despair can be sensed by others and will keep men from you. Relax and be comfortable in your own skin, that is, be comfortable being single, be comfortable with who you are. If you cannot live the single life with joy, then you are likely not to live the married life with joy as you will be getting married in co-dependency. That is not good for a marriage. People who are self-assured and comfortable with their lives, along with being a devout Catholic, make the best mates.

It can seem that men only want one thing, but dear, there are some of us that are not that way and are truly men of the Catholic faith.

Get out there to look for men in your parish, in organizations, and in places like Catholic Singles linked above. Go slowly, be careful, and be patient. Ask God for strength and ask Him to give you the fullness of the Fruit of the Spirit.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary