Dear Teresa:

First, a word about the term "Soul Ties:"

The term "soul ties" is controversial. It's first use is not known, but it probably began, or at least took root in Pentecostal Charismatic circles. Like most everything from the Pentecostal Charismatic movement the theology and the interpretation of both the Bible and the spiritual phenomena is deeply flawed. Unfortunately and sadly, much of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal is grossly contaminated by Pentecostal ideas.

For example, some people speak of “fragmented” souls or “dividing” of the soul. This is false. There is no such thing as a fragmented or divided soul. One can have a fragmented personality (e.g., Dissociative Personality Disorder) or a divided mind (e.g., cognitive dissonance, inability to make a decision, strongly pulled emotionally in two different directions, and other psychological behaviors), but the soul can never be these things.

Those who use the term "soul ties" refer to Biblical passages such as Judges 20:11; 1st Samuel 18:1; 1st Chronicles 12:17; Colossians 2:2, 19 and similar verses that could be called the "knit together" passages. These  verses, however, are about deep emotional ties in friendship or in marriage. One can have deep emotional connections with good people or bad people. This is why the Bible teaches to stay away from bad influences as we may be drawn into sin and harmful emotional attachments.

If we are talking about "soul ties" as bondage, then we are closer to a true definition. We can have an emotional bondage to people or things (an attachment that becomes an addiction or so strong that it places the person in a bondage that is difficult or impossible to break without help). What is probably most referred to is calling "soul ties" demonic bondage. The "tie" in a demonic bondage is with the demons, not with a person, though a person may be a conduit for the demon to hold a person in bondage.

I think the term "bondage" is a far better term than "soul ties". Bondage is also more accurate and less likely to be misinterpreted. Like many phrases and concepts from the Charismatic movement, the language tends to be sloppy and imprecise.

For purposes of clarification, I refer to bondage, rather than "soul ties."

With that said, let us now discuss your question:

Most of the symptoms you describe have nothing to do with alleged "soul ties", as popularly defined, but with demonic harassments and bondages. This has mostly to do with the consequences of your sin. When you fornicated you gave the devil permission to come into your life in the form of harassment and perhaps even oppression.

The continued attachment you feel for this person is at best a psychological attachment (like an addiction), and at worse a demonic attachment, and most likely a little of both.

Demons often to not cause problems as much as they hitchhike on problems that already exist. For example, you may have an unhealthy emotional or psychological attachment to this man. Demons can observe that and decide to get involved to make your attachment worse than it would have been otherwise.

We are to detach ourselves from all that is unhealthy for our souls. This is done by an act of will such as, "I reject all attachment to ________, and submit myself only to that which glorifies God." One of the best prayers ever written to help us detach is the Prayer of Detachment, also known as the Litany of Humility. This prayer was composed by St. John of the Cross:

Deliver me, O Jesus... 
...from the desire of being loved 
...from the desire of being extolled 
...from the desire of being praised 
...from the desire of being preferred 
...from the desire of being consulted 
...from the desire of being approved 
...from the desire of being popular 

Deliver me, O Jesus... 
...from the fear of being humiliated 
...from the fear of being despised 
...from the fear of suffering rebuke 
...from the fear of being forgotten 
...from the fear of being wronged 
...from the fear of being ridiculed 
...from the fear that others may be loved more than I 

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire... 
...that others may be esteemed more than I 
...that in the opinion of the world others may increase and I may decrease 
...that others may be chosen and I set aside 
...that others may be praised and I unnoticed

Then there is the Prayer of Detachment by Blessed Peter Faber SJ: 

I beg of you, my Lord,
to remove anything which separates
me from you, and you from me.

Remove anything that makes me unworthy
of your sight, your control, your reprehension;
of your speech and conversation,
of your benevolence and love.

Cast from me every evil
that stands in the way of my seeing you,
hearing, tasting, savoring, and touching you;
fearing and being mindful of you;
knowing, trusting, loving, and possessing you;
being conscious of your presence

and, as far as may be, enjoying you.
This is what I ask for myself
and earnestly desire from you. Amen.

I will be inserting these two prayers in our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog. There are many other prayers in the Catalog that you ought to pray, such as the Hedge Prayer of Protection. We also have a rebuking prayer. You need to rebuke these thoughts that are not of God. If you have 150 of these thoughts per day, then rebuke them 150 times, each time it happens. On a spontaneous basis, instead of the formal pre-written rebuking prayer in our Catalog, you can "on-the-fly" pray something like: "I rebuke this thought of ______ and cast away the demon of ______ that inspired it. Father in heaven give me thoughts only pleasing to you and cast away this demon who harasses me."

On the phrase "demon of _____" insert the attribute of the demon that is giving you these thoughts, such as the demon of lust, despair, doubt, abandonment, etc.

As to your question about God's will:

It is never God's will that you have an unhealthy attachment to any person, behavior, activity, or object. It may, however, be His will to not deliver a person right now, or perhaps not ever.

There are at least five reasons why we are not delivered right now:

1) If we get something to easily we tend to take it for granted. If we must work for it, we will more appreciate it.

2) We may not be honest in exposing and renouncing "hooks" (e.g., unChristian activities such as palm reading, Ouija Board, fornication, etc.) that in our life that may give the demons an excuse to hand onto us. Even if the sins have been forgiven, the consequences and attachments to those sins may remain. Thus, these hooks must be identified and renounced.

3) There is something God wants you to learn before being healed and delivered.

4) God may say no to our petitions for healing and deliverance from some good reason that is in our best interest (e.g. St. Paul's thorn).

5) God may say no to our petitions for healing and deliverance because by our suffering He will be glorified.

There are examples where it is God's will that a person not be delivered 100% or at all from demonic harassment or affliction. The story of Anneliese Michel may be an example of this (her story was made into the movies, The Exorcism of Emily Rose).

A better source is the Bible. We have an instance in the Bible where God said "no" to a prayer for deliverance. This is the case of St. Paul and the thorn (a demon) in his side:

(2 Corinthians 12:7-10)  And to keep me from being too elated by the abundance of revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I besought the Lord about this, that it should leave me; but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 

St. Paul was a rather proud man. God allowed him to be continually harassed by demons in order to keep him humble. This also taught St. Paul, and us, that the grace from Christ is sufficient for us, and that is more important than healing, and that we are strong in our weakness when we abandon ourselves to Him.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking God for healing and deliverance, but we must follow our Lord's lead in the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus asked the Father, (Matthew 26:39b) "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." 

Jesus asked if he could be spared off this cup, that is, his death on the cross. But, Jesus' petition does not end there. He follows that petition with, "nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

We can ask God, but we must be willing to accept his answer. We must abandon ourselves to God's will.

I suggest that you follow the Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance. One of the steps is about abandonment to God's will and how to do it. 

If you follow the Seven Steps and do not find any relief, then you may wish to contact us for formal Deliverance Counseling.

The foundational step to healing and deliverance always begins with Confession and the Eucharist. These two Sacraments are the strongest healing and deliverance prayers that exist.

Second, is to live the best Catholic life you know how to live, doing all the things that devout Catholics do (daily prayers, bible study, devotions, adoration, daily Mass if possible, etc ).

Third, is to pray spiritual warfare prayers, as we are at war and must use the weapons of war to fight against the devil. Ephesians chapter 6 presents the armor of God, to which we should be clothed every day. Our Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog is for you use to pray specific prayers concerning this war.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary