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Question Title	Posted By	Question Date
Failing to Confess a Sin	Christina	Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Question: Brother Ignatius Mary, I am right there with Jack and experienced exactly what he is feeling. Since he mentioned this, I thought I would bring up my confusion on this topic. - I recall reading about the Nun (on your site) who did not confess her sins of impurity and did not go to heaven. Instead, she was in hell and came back to warn her fellow sisters about the importance of confessing ones sins and not to hold anything back. What is so difficult in saying I had 4 instances of sin of impurity? I can't understand how this Nun could have made this mistake. Unless, in her heart, she did not have true contrition for her sin. Could that be it? I also read on your site (sorry I can't remember where - I was all over your site) something to the sense that you had mentioned that these sins of impurity are important to confess and although they may be 'embarrassing', they must be confessed! So, what is so embarrassing about saying I masturbated seven times or the like? What is so difficult with this? Or about saying I participated in acts of lesbian. Or whatever! Even if one drank urine or participated in acts of Sadism and Masochism. I don't think one needs to even mention those words. Just 'I participated in x times, the sin of impurity'. Right? So, why the embarrassment? I just don't get it. I was so sick with worry because as Jack had mentioned, I too had gone to confession and didn't go into the details of my sins including my sins of impurity. In fact, I completely forgot about them as well as others. I had been away from the Church for ~30 years and did a huge General Confession with my Priest. I reviewed everything I could get my hands on pertaining to how to examine ones conscience. - Stuff written by Saints and all. Spent two whole days, broke down all my sins (the ones I could remember at the time) by Commandment. And, when it was time to talk to the Priest, face to face, I forgot most of them! In fact, I just touched on the important ones. Or, I should say, the ones pressing on my mind and those that I could remember. One hour was not enough time to cover ~30 years of sin. (So, even though I did not confess in words my participation in say, I Ching - I knew in my heart that it is sinful and never touched it after my confession). Also with say, my singing Mantra's. I never mentioned that sin, but I never participated in this after my confession as I know it is sinful and it would be a sin. I completely forgot about the specific acts of impurity that I participated in (they are important). In fact, I am not even sure if I wrote them on my index cards. But, my intent in my heart was to ask God for forgiveness for all my sins and that I am sorry for everything that I did during that time period that was sinful. I also had the full intention in my heart to wipe out everything that was not of God. I did just that. I even left out sins because I wasn't sure if I was in my right frame of mind (responsible for them) or not. - These were sins that occurred while I believe I was attacked by the devil and demons and occurred over a straight ~3 month period. - The reason I was in confession. I was too embarrassed to tell the Priest everything that occurred and I was way too scared. I think 'traumatized' is a better word. - So, I just said something to the sense that I am also asking for forgiveness for whatever I did or whatever occurred during those few months when the evil one was around me. (I spent most of my confession time trying to muster up the nerve to tell the Priest what occurred while the devil and demons were around me, and instead ended up going around in circles. I wasn't able to say anything that was coherent just round about bits of pieces of information). Brother Ignatius Mary, what am I missing here? How could that Nun not confess her sins of impurity? Do you remember the Nun of whom I am referring? Is that a really true story? I doubt it. - Sorry, I can' find where I read it, but it was on your site. Also, doesn't the priest forgive one of all their sins. That means ALL (emphasis added). - (Penance and contrition need to occur). Thank you for your reply.
Question Answered by Dear Christina: I have changed the title of your question since your question really has nothing to do with impure sins. Rather, it has to do with failing to confess a mortal sin. I do not understand why you think it is so fantastical to learn that a Nun may have committed a mortal sin that she refused to confess because of embarrassment. That nun is a human being, as are brothers and priests. We all sin, and we are all susceptible to Pride. That is what embarrassment is—a form of pride. Pride is the first of the seven deadly sins. We are all inflicted with Pride. When pride gets in the way of confession, it can be deadly. When pride leads one to refuse to confess a mortal sin even unto his death, the result is death (hell). So the question is why is it so hard to confess these embarrassing sin, is answered, because of Pride. Pride will facilitate a multitude of sins. As for making a list of sins in preparation for confess, but forgetting some of them once the confession starts? Why didn't you take your list with you into the confessional? When making an examination of conscience, make a list, take it with you to the confessional, then afterward destroy the list so that no one can see it (such as burning it). A good confession must be complete in listing kind and number. To say, "I participated in x times, the sin of impurity" is not sufficient in my opinion because there are many, many forms of impurity. You need to specify verbally what sort of impurity you are guilt of. As a previous explained in another post, this does not mean the nitty-gritty details of a particular sex act. For example, if it is masturbation, one does not need to list the method of masturbation. But, masturbation needs to be specifically confessed. If there is even one unconfessed mortal sin on our soul at the time of our death, our destiny is hell. So we need to confess all known sins. One hour is not enough time for confessing 30 years of sinning? That is simply not true. If this is taking more than one hour that means you are explaining your sins, or telling the story about the sins, not listing them. Listing every sin as to kind that known to man would take around 20 minutes at best. As I mentioned in the previous post, explaining our sin is a form of excuse making. We should offer no excuses, no circumstances, no explanations, or whatnot. Just list the sin in kind and number. That is all. If and when the priest asks for more details should you provide the circumstances. If you avoid listing a sin because your time in confession is up, then you have not made a good confession. If I were you, I would avoid receiving Communion until you get to Confession again. This time make a list with kind and number and that is all. Do not explain the sins or give the backstory about them. Just list them. Here is an example: Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 30 years since my last confession. I accuse myself of: 1. lust too many times to count 2. anger 3 times 3. masturbation around 3 times per week 4. Adultery twice 5. Shoplifting 4 times For these, and for all my other sins which I cannot now remember, I am heartily sorry, firmly intend to do better, and most humbly ask forgiveness. On the priest's absolution covering sins not mentioned during the Confession. It is true that forgotten sins are absolved along with the specific sins confessed, but that only applies to genuinely forgotten sin. This does not apply, however, to failing to mention all sins because you ran out of time, or that you kept to yourself in your heart. The word "Confess" means to admit to a sin with your mouth, verbally. If you deliberately withhold any known grave sins from confession, then your confession is a bad one and must be done all over again, but this time mentioning the sins that were left out the first time. I hope this helps. God Bless, Bro. Ignatius Mary Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below: Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum. Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum

Question Title

Posted By

Question Date

Failing to Confess a Sin

Christina

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Question:

Brother Ignatius Mary,

I am right there with Jack and experienced exactly what he is feeling. Since he mentioned this, I thought I would bring up my confusion on this topic.

- I recall reading about the Nun (on your site) who did not confess her sins of impurity and did not go to heaven. Instead, she was in hell and came back to warn her fellow sisters about the importance of confessing ones sins and not to hold anything back. What is so difficult in saying I had 4 instances of sin of impurity? I can't understand how this Nun could have made this mistake. Unless, in her heart, she did not have true contrition for her sin. Could that be it?

I also read on your site (sorry I can't remember where - I was all over your site) something to the sense that you had mentioned that these sins of impurity are important to confess and although they may be 'embarrassing', they must be confessed! So, what is so embarrassing about saying I masturbated seven times or the like? What is so difficult with this? Or about saying I participated in acts of lesbian. Or whatever! Even if one drank urine or participated in acts of Sadism and Masochism. I don't think one needs to even mention those words. Just 'I participated in x times, the sin of impurity'. Right? So, why the embarrassment? I just don't get it.

I was so sick with worry because as Jack had mentioned, I too had gone to confession and didn't go into the details of my sins including my sins of impurity. In fact, I completely forgot about them as well as others. I had been away from the Church for ~30 years and did a huge General Confession with my Priest. I reviewed everything I could get my hands on pertaining to how to examine ones conscience. - Stuff written by Saints and all. Spent two whole days, broke down all my sins (the ones I could remember at the time) by Commandment. And, when it was time to talk to the Priest, face to face, I forgot most of them! In fact, I just touched on the important ones. Or, I should say, the ones pressing on my mind and those that I could remember. One hour was not enough time to cover ~30 years of sin. (So, even though I did not confess in words my participation in say, I Ching - I knew in my heart that it is sinful and never touched it after my confession). Also with say, my singing Mantra's. I never mentioned that sin, but I never participated in this after my confession as I know it is sinful and it would be a sin. I completely forgot about the specific acts of impurity that I participated in (they are important). In fact, I am not even sure if I wrote them on my index cards. But, my intent in my heart was to ask God for forgiveness for all my sins and that I am sorry for everything that I did during that time period that was sinful. I also had the full intention in my heart to wipe out everything that was not of God. I did just that.

I even left out sins because I wasn't sure if I was in my right frame of mind (responsible for them) or not. - These were sins that occurred while I believe I was attacked by the devil and demons and occurred over a straight ~3 month period. - The reason I was in confession. I was too embarrassed to tell the Priest everything that occurred and I was way too scared. I think 'traumatized' is a better word. - So, I just said something to the sense that I am also asking for forgiveness for whatever I did or whatever occurred during those few months when the evil one was around me. (I spent most of my confession time trying to muster up the nerve to tell the Priest what occurred while the devil and demons were around me, and instead ended up going around in circles. I wasn't able to say anything that was coherent just round about bits of pieces of information).

Brother Ignatius Mary, what am I missing here? How could that Nun not confess her sins of impurity?
Do you remember the Nun of whom I am referring? Is that a really true story? I doubt it. - Sorry, I can' find where I read it, but it was on your site.

Also, doesn't the priest forgive one of all their sins. That means ALL (emphasis added). - (Penance and contrition need to occur).

Thank you for your reply.

Question Answered by

Dear Christina:

I have changed the title of your question since your question really has nothing to do with impure sins. Rather, it has to do with failing to confess a mortal sin.

I do not understand why you think it is so fantastical to learn that a Nun may have committed a mortal sin that she refused to confess because of embarrassment. That nun is a human being, as are brothers and priests. We all sin, and we are all susceptible to Pride. That is what embarrassment is—a form of pride.

Pride is the first of the seven deadly sins. We are all inflicted with Pride. When pride gets in the way of confession, it can be deadly. When pride leads one to refuse to confess a mortal sin even unto his death, the result is death (hell).

So the question is why is it so hard to confess these embarrassing sin, is answered, because of Pride. Pride will facilitate a multitude of sins.

As for making a list of sins in preparation for confess, but forgetting some of them once the confession starts? Why didn't you take your list with you into the confessional? When making an examination of conscience, make a list, take it with you to the confessional, then afterward destroy the list so that no one can see it (such as burning it).

A good confession must be complete in listing kind and number. To say, "I participated in x times, the sin of impurity" is not sufficient in my opinion because there are many, many forms of impurity. You need to specify verbally what sort of impurity you are guilt of. As a previous explained in another post, this does not mean the nitty-gritty details of a particular sex act. For example, if it is masturbation, one does not need to list the method of masturbation. But, masturbation needs to be specifically confessed.

If there is even one unconfessed mortal sin on our soul at the time of our death, our destiny is hell. So we need to confess all known sins.

One hour is not enough time for confessing 30 years of sinning? That is simply not true. If this is taking more than one hour that means you are explaining your sins, or telling the story about the sins, not listing them. Listing every sin as to kind that known to man would take around 20 minutes at best. As I mentioned in the previous post, explaining our sin is a form of excuse making. We should offer no excuses, no circumstances, no explanations, or whatnot. Just list the sin in kind and number. That is all. If and when the priest asks for more details should you provide the circumstances.

If you avoid listing a sin because your time in confession is up, then you have not made a good confession.

If I were you, I would avoid receiving Communion until you get to Confession again. This time make a list with kind and number and that is all. Do not explain the sins or give the backstory about them. Just list them. Here is an example:

Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been 30 years since my last confession. I accuse myself of:

1. lust too many times to count
2. anger 3 times
3. masturbation around 3 times per week
4. Adultery twice
5. Shoplifting 4 times

For these, and for all my other sins which I cannot now remember, I am heartily sorry, firmly intend to do better, and most humbly ask forgiveness.

On the priest's absolution covering sins not mentioned during the Confession. It is true that forgotten sins are absolved along with the specific sins confessed, but that only applies to genuinely forgotten sin.

This does not apply, however, to failing to mention all sins because you ran out of time, or that you kept to yourself in your heart. The word "Confess" means to admit to a sin with your mouth, verbally.

If you deliberately withhold any known grave sins from confession, then your confession is a bad one and must be done all over again, but this time mentioning the sins that were left out the first time.

I hope this helps.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary

Footer Notes: This forum is for general questions on the faith. See specific Topic Forums below:
Spiritual Warfare, demons, the occult go to our Spiritul Warfare Q&S Forum.
Liturgy Questions go to our Liturgy and Liturgical Law Q&A Forum
Liturgy of the Hours (Divine Office) Questions go to our Divine Office Q&A Forum
Defenfing the Faith Questions go to our Defending the Faith Q&A Forum
Church History Questions go to our Church History Q&A Forum