Dear Kelly:

I am glad you have removed yourself from the drama. The relationship between your father and your step-mother is their business. While you, as your father's daughter, may express your concerns about how his wife treats your father, the decision as to what your father will tolerate and allow in his life is his decision that you must respect. You can certainly decide to not get in the middle of this, or even to avoid your step-mother all together, for the sake of your peace-of-mind, and your father must respect that. I would even suggest that you may have a duty to back away if this is robbing your peace in Christ.

Your father trying to push this woman onto you is patently disrespectful. Express to your father that you do not wish a relationship with this woman and to stop trying to push a relationship on you. As a last resort, if your father refuses to respect your wishes, then I would tell him that he either respect those wishes or I will not have any contact with him. If your father still refuses to respect your wishes, then you must follow through and terminate all contact until such time your father decides to respect you.

As to your father's wedding, if you are talking about your father and his wife regularizing their marriage in the Church after the annulment was granted, there is nothing unethical or immoral about that. In fact, I would applaud them for regularizing their marriage in the Church so that they may live in grace.

I am not sure what you are asking concerning Bible quotes. If your father regularized his marriage after the annulment your perspective that there was some unethical aspect going on is incorrect.

As to your wanting to distance yourself from your step-mother I know of no specific Bible verse that talks about that unless she is acting out immorally or divisively. St. Paul says that we are to shun people who call themselves Christian but live an immoral lifestyle:

(1 Cor 5:9-11) I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with immoral men; not at all meaning the immoral of this world, or the greedy and robbers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But rather I wrote to you not to associate with any one who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or robber--not even to eat with such a one.

St. Paul also advises shunning in other situations, such as with a person insists on unproductive argumentation and who is divisive about the faith, a heretic:

Titus 3:9-11 But avoid stupid controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels over the law, for they are unprofitable and futile. As for a man who is factious, after admonishing him once or twice, have nothing more to do with him, knowing that such a person is perverted and sinful; he is self-condemned.

If we are talking about your step-mother being obnoxious and disrespectful to you there is nothing in the Bible that speaks to that issue that I can recall at the moment, but there doesn't need to be a Bible verse for everything.

Based upon the theology of the dignity of the human person, no one is required to submit to abuse and disrespect. We are not to get revenge (which is what the "turn the other cheek" is truly about). But, we are not required to be someone's doormat.

The idea that families must stick together no matter what is contradicted by Christ Himself when he said:

(Matthew 10:34-36) "Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's foes will be those of his own household."

This is talking about family strife due to some members of the family following Christ and other not. It can also refer to members of the family having differences of opinion on how to live the Christian life.

The point is that circumstances can be present when one must back away even from family.

Also is the theology of conscience. One has a right to follow their conscience. If others refuse to respect that, then backing away may be needed.

You can read some of what the Church teaches about conscience from the Catechism.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary