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Question Title Posted By Question Date
My fathers wedding Joseph Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Question:

Brother,

My father has sought an annulment and it was granted. He just got married officially in the church this past weekend. My sister never really got along with my stepmother in the past. She is four years younger than me. Since then my stepmother has told my father she is willing to try to have a relationship with my sister.

Here's the thing. My sister would not attend the wedding. I literally was the only one who attended it from his side. My father is such a good man I couldn't live if he couldn't go to heaven and die in mortal sin. I was so happy he decided to get the annulment even though I REALLY pushed for it :). Finally he is going to go to confession this week and receive Jesus for the first time in 20 plus years.

My sister is a devout Catholic as well. I for the life of me can't understand why she couldn't support this wedding and put aside her differences. I am so disappointed in her I worry if I am going to be able to let this go. I would think she would want what's best for our father and he wanted her to go so badly it hurt him a lot. He kept saying "that sister of yours." Which is his way of saying she hurt him.

I told her the only real reason not to go would be if she really thought it would drive her to sin to be there. She said she would talk to a priest but I do not know if she did. She talks to me as if everything is fine and sends my dad fathers day cards and is she really this out of touch?

Her birthday is coming up soon and I am feeling so resentful over this. I tried to email her but she hasn't responded. I guess i will have to call her.

Does any of this make sense or am I blind to something here? My stepmother had readings picked out for her and everything. My father didn't want to hurt her feelings so he basically lied and said she couldn't go due to work. Yeah he hasn't read your essay on the strategies of Satan yet. People were asking about her. What do you suggest I do?

God bless and thank you.



Question Answered by

Dear Joseph:

Your last paragraph does not make any sense to me. I am not sure what is going on. I think you are saying that your father made excuses for why his daughter was not at the wedding?

In any event, I think you are saying that your sister has some issues with your father or step-mother that lead her to not come to the wedding. If your father was granted the anulment and the wedding was in the Church, then there is no moral reason to refrain from attending the wedding.

Your sister obviously has some other issues. You can try to talk to her about whatever issues she has with your father and/or step-mother. But, if she is not willing to talk, do not nag her about it. If she does talk about it but is not willing to change her mind, then leave it be and pray for her.

Family dynamics can be very difficult. Arguing should be avoided as it is unproductive. Forgive her because God tells us we must forgive everyone. Spiritually, to forgive someone opens a door of opportunity for the Holy Spirit to work on the person. Forgiveness also frees ourselves from the bondage that unforgiveness and bitterness brings.

If you, or her, need to better understand forgiveness, check out our pamphlet on the subject.

We will also be in prayer for you, your sister, and your father and step-mother.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary


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