Question Title | Posted By | Question Date |
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Is My Marriage Valid? | Tessie | Monday, September 27, 2004 |
Question: Dear Brother, I was married briefly when I was younger, and my first marriage was annulled by Diocesan Marriage Tribunal. Some years later I met a gentleman I wished to marry who had been divorced for 8 yrs; his mentally ill wife had left him after 27 years. He is a devout Southern Baptist, but was willing to go through the annullment process if I wanted him to. My pastor at the time said it was not right to expect him to do that because he wasn't Catholic and was not bound by the rules of my faith, so he wouldn't help me with that, but he would marry us in private at the rectory; however, he couldn't register the marriage. That sounded odd to me, so I asked 2 more priests I knew; one said the pastor could do what he wanted. The other told me that was wrong, the pastor didn't have that power; it felt wrong to me, too. I went ahead with the marriage. I had waited 20 years to remarry, and didn't feel I was doing anything shameful, so I didn't hide in the rectory. But in my willfullness, I was married by a Protestant minister. I attended Mass every week, but never received the Sacraments because I knew I what I had done was wrong. The pastor told me to go ahead and recieve, that I could be married by him and come in through the "back door" but I didn't want to be deceitful, and that's how it felt. After I had been married 3 or 4 years, the pastor died, and we got a new pastor. Then, my husband's ex-wife died. My pastor now said he could bless our marriage if it would make me feel better, but since I was married by a minister, the marriage was valid, now that my husband's first wife was deceased, and now I could go ahead and go to Confession and receive the Eucharist, which I did. Is our marriage valid now in the eyes of the Church, or do I need to go and let the pastor remarry us? My husband is, once again, willing to do whatever will make me comfortable. When you get many different answers from different priests, it is confusing. In retrospect, I would advise anyone who is thinking of doing something like this to think twice; the pain of going to Mass and not receiving Jesus was terrible. Thank you. |
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Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OLSM+
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