Dear Jennifer:

I am sorry to hear about your mother. This is a hard thing.

To answer your question we have to talk about the purpose of suffering. We learn from God and from the Church that suffering is a positive thing, it is redemptive. In the midst of suffering we find Christ. Suffering is a privilege, it is a joining and sharing with Christ on the Cross. Suffering is a mission in that we can offer up our suffering to God for others.

Every Saint suffered. Oh, what a privilege it is for us to suffer.

Do not despair, but rejoice that God has allowed your mother to suffer. At the very least her suffering is counted to her in terms of purgatory. Her suffering may allow her to go straight to heaven. Oh, what a joy that would be.

God, however, does not cause this suffering. We suffer because of our own actions, other people's actions, natural events, and the consequences of original sin that brought sickness into the world.

What is happening to your mother is a result of a fallen world. It is life. But, God does not leave us to the mercies of a natural world, or the the consequences of sin. God promises:

(Romans 8:28) We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.

This is a promise of God and God is not a liar, he keeps his promises. When life gives us lemons, God will make sweat lemonade if we let Him.

Thus, Jennifer, try looking at your mother's suffering in this way. God loves her and allows that suffering spare her the pains of purgatory, to make her a saint. Even for you, God has graces and things to teach you through your mother's suffering.

Our Blessed Mother suffered. Her heart was pierced.

I suggest that you go to her with your feelings. Let our Blessed Mother teach you about suffering.

I also recommend the books, Making Sense Out of Suffering, by Peter Kreeft; and also the book, Suffering: The Catholic Answer: The Cross of Christ and Its Meaning for You by Dom Hubert Van Zeller.

Father John Hardon died of cancer a decade ago. In the last two weeks before his death the pain meds were no longer effective. A nurse happened to overhear him praying. He called out to God, "Father, give me more pain." There is a saint. He knew the redemptive nature of suffering.

Jennifer, this does not make it any easier to watch your mother suffer, but know that her suffering is not for nothing. Her suffering is for a reason that is glorious and for the Greater Glory of God.

We will pray for her and for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary