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Question Title Posted By Question Date
Dating someone Crystal Thursday, February 23, 2012

Question:

Dear Brother,

I am interested in a man who is Asian(Chinese) and he is also interested in me.

We haven't officially talked, as he works in a nearby store located by my Doctor's office. The last two times I went into his place of employment, he was very gracious, friendly, and wanted to talk but was unable to due to other customers, as when I was leaving he said "Good-bye" loudly for me to get his attention, followed by a very warm smile.

I like this man, but like I've said we haven't had a conversation with one another as of yet, therefore I cannot speak of his religious background. However, if we do get to know one another and would want to date, would it be difficult if he follows his religion and I abide in mine?

As I would never renounce my faith in God, and have not dated anyone for many years now and would like to develop a friendship that would grow in time.

If you could give me any advice about this, I would appreciate it.

God Bless,
Crystal



Question Answered by Bro. Ignatius Mary, OMSM(r), L.Th., D.D.

Dear Crystal:

This Chinese gentleman may be Christian. If he is, then the issue will be what denomination he belongs to. It can be difficult to marry someone of another denomination if there are significant differences in belief or practice from the denomination you attend. This is why in the Catholic Church a Catholic cannot marry a non-Catholic without the bishop's permission, and cannot marry a non-Christian without a special dispensation.

The reason the Catholic Church has these rules is because of the difficulty mix marriages can have, especially in raising children. In a non-Catholic Christian faith also, the children need to see a "united front" in their parents. That cannot happen if the parents are from two difference denominations that have differing views on the Faith. It certainly cannot happen if one of the parents is not Christian.

In addition, in Christianity the husband/father is to be the head of the house and is to model the Christian father. This is not possible if the father is not Christian, and will be mixed messages if the father is from a different denomination than you that teaches things differently than you would.

The bottomline: while you denomination may not have rules about this as does the Catholic Church, it is still not be prudent for you to marry a Christian outside your denomination if the man's denomination has views contrary to the denomination you belong to. It is extremely unwise to marry a non-Christian.

These things matter not only for your own faith, but especially for the children to whom you have a solemn duty before God to raise as Christians.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary


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