Dear Bob:

St. Paul made his living from a secular job — tent-making. He actually refused to accept support from the Church. St. Paul accomplished great things, traveled the Roman world evangelizing, but he had to stop in one place for a while to make tents to support his evangistic work.

As a layman, Bob, God has given you a great and holy task — to sanctifyand bring dignity to world. This is a mighty and wonderful task.

Gaudium et Spes, the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, makes a clear and serious connection between the laity's life as Catholics in the temporal world and their eternal destination:

This council exhorts Christians, as citizens of two cities, to strive to discharge their earthly duties conscientiously and in response to the Gospel spirit. They are mistaken who, knowing that we have here no abiding city but seek one which is to come, think that they may therefore shirk their earthly responsibilities. For they are forgetting that by the faith itself they are more obliged than ever to measure up to these duties, each according to his proper vocation. Nor, on the contrary, are they any less wide of the mark who think that religion consists in acts of worship alone and in the discharge of certain moral obligations, and who imagine they can plunge themselves into earthly affairs in such a way as to imply that these are altogether divorced from the religious life. This split between the faith which many profess and their daily lives deserves to be counted among the more serious errors of our age. . . . The Christian who neglects his temporal duties, neglects his duties toward his neighbor and even God, and jeopardizes his eternal salvation. (GS 43).

Lumen Gentium, the Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, asserts the importance of the laity's life and work within the temporal order in relation to eternity:

But by reason of their special vocation it belongs to the laity to seek the kingdom of God by engaging in temporal affairs and directing them according to God's will. They live in the world, that is, they are engaged in each and every work and business of the earth and in the ordinary circumstances of social and family life which, as it were, constitute their very existence. There they are called by God that, being led by the spirit to the Gospel, they may contribute to the sanctification of the world, as from within like leaven, by fulfilling their own particular duties. Thus, especially by the witness of their life, resplendent in faith, hope and charity they must manifest Christ to others. It pertains to them in a special way so to illuminate and order all temporal things with which they are so closely associated that these may be effected and grow according to Christ and may be to the glory of the Creator and Redeemer. (LG 31).

John Paul II, in his Apostolic Exhortation Christifideles Laici addresses the very issue you raise. The late Holy Father stated:

[T]he path of the lay faithful has not been without its difficulties and dangers. In particular, [a] temptation ... which they have not always known how to avoid: the temptation of being so strongly interested in Church services and tasks that some fail to become actively engaged in their responsibilities in the professional, social, cultural and political world. (CL 2)

The laity have a specific and unique role in the kingdom of man, as John Paul II explained:

To understand properly the lay faithful's position in the Church in a complete, adequate and specific manner it is necessary to come to a deeper theological understanding of their secular character in light of God's plan of salvation and in the context of the mystery of the Church. Pope Paul VI said the Church "has an authentic secular dimension, inherent to her inner nature and mission, which is deeply rooted in the mystery of the Word Incarnate, and which is realized in different forms through her members". The Church, in fact, lives in the world, even if she is not of the world (cf. Jn 17:16). She is sent to continue the redemptive work of Jesus Christ, which "by its very nature concerns the salvation of humanity, and also involves the renewal of the whole temporal order". Certainly all the members of the Church are sharers in this secular dimension but in different ways. In particular the sharing of the lay faithful has its own manner of realization and function, which, according to the Council, is "properly and particularly" theirs. Such a manner is designated with the expression "secular character." (CL 15).

I understand the strong desire to want to work for the Church instead of a job in the world. I use to have that desire of longing. But, while I had that desire I did not neglect what I needed to do in the world — to sanctify the world by share my faith with others and doing my secular work for the greater glory of God. St. Paul tells teaches us:

(2 Thess 3:7-10)  For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us; we were not idle when we were with you, we did not eat any one's bread without paying, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not burden any of you. It was not because we have not that right, but to give you in our conduct an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: If any one will not work, let him not eat. 

Bob, there is a place for you to work for God. That place may not be as an employee of the Church or in some apostolate that pays a salary. But, God has given you gifts to use in the world. Blessed John Henry Cardinal Newman said:

Everyone who breathes, high and low, educated and ignorant, young and old, man and woman, has a mission, has work. We are not sent into this world for nothing; we are not born at random...God see every soul, He lodges it in the body, one by one, for a purpose, He needs, He deigns to need, every one of us. He has an end for each of us; we are all equal in His sight, and we are placed in our different ranks and stations, not to get what we can out of them for ourselves, but to labour in them for Him. As Christ has his work, we too have ours; as He rejoiced to do His work, we must rejoice in ours also.

This extreme desire that seem to be hindering your ability to work is most like connected to your scrupulosity. Scrpulosity is the religious form of Obessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I would recommend you talk to your doctor about that. There are medications that can help to alleviate the symptoms of OCD.

All of us must accept our lot in life. We are all called to resign and abandon ourselves to the will of God otherwise we find outselves in bondage to our desires. I would advise you to read our pamphlet, Christian Resignation as a Prerequisite to Feeedom (pdf file).

As for an aversion for things secular: As a layman, you need to be in the world. This means that it is proper to be passionate about your life and work. We are all to detach ourselves from material things, but for a layman that does not mean detachment to the point avoiding all property ownership and secular activities.

You need to see that secular activities is given to us by God to sanctify for the greater glory of God. Secular work is also to be done for the greater glory of God.

Think what would happen if everyone had this desire as you do that cause an impotence to work a secular job. The entire world would fall into chaos, people would not be feed or sheltered, disease would kill off the plant. I know, this is an exaggeration, but I am making the point that we all have our work to do no matter what it is. In doing that work, even secular work, we glorify God. 

When you say, "I just can't get excited or passionate enough about it to see myself making a career out of it, or anything else secular for that matter", you are robbing God of His glory. He made the material world and He gives us this world to take care of. YOu need to come to realize that secular God is a work of God. This is even true in the monastery.

Contrary to popular opinion, monasteries are not supported by the Church. Each monastery must support itself. Some monasteries do this by farming, baked goods, winery, or even making coffins all sold to the public. This work is the same as in the secular counterparts.

If you can understand that all work is to glorify God, it does not matter what job you have.

When I first converted to the Catholic Faith I was interested in joining a Benedictine community. I explained to them that I wanted to serve God and it didn't matter how that was done — priesthood, brotherhood, or garbage collector. The Father Superior said, "That is an excellent position to be in."

We need to be open for whatever place God wishes us to be. We do that by working in whatever job we find in order to support ourselves. Then as we travel through life God may direct us elsewhere, but He cannot do that if we are standing still.

Our lives are like a ship. The course a ship takes is controled by the rudder. But, if the ship is dead in the water and not moving the rudder can do nothing. The only way for the rudder to change the course of the ship is for the ship to be moving.

God cannot direct you to a different course that He has for you unless you are already moving. This means getting a job and keeping it with joy that you can do that job for the greater glory of God.

We will be praying for you.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary