Dear Diego:

No matter how disgusted we are about the fashion choices of some people, those things are not sin unless it deals with issues of immodesty, blasphemy, or other anti-Christian sentiments.

My niece recently appeared with her lips pierce and a small ring inserted. I asked her, "Does your dad (my brother) know about this?" She said she did. She is 24 years old and not my child. Thus, it is none of my business. The mere asking her if her father knew about the piercing was sufficient to let her know how I feel about it.

Since this person is a child of your wife's cousin, how she raises that child is really not the business of you and your wife. You have explained that you disapprove of such fashions so she knows your view. Nothing else would be appropriate for you to do.

If Jack is an adult, then his mother, even though Jack is living in her house, has no right to demand that he remove the pierced jewelry. This is not a matter of sin.

The same is true for you. It is not appropriate for you to demand that everyone who comes to your house to conform to your dress code — as long as the fashion is not immodest or blasphemous, or an offense to the Catholic faith and teaching. There is no sin.

St. Paul was confronted with a similar situation from which we can all learn:

(1 Cor 8:1-13)  Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that "all of us possess knowledge." "Knowledge" puffs up, but love builds up. If any one imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if one loves God, one is known by him. Hence, as to the eating of food offered to idols, we know that "an idol has no real existence," and that "there is no God but one." ...there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist.

However, not all possess this knowledge. But some, through being hitherto accustomed to idols, eat food as really offered to an idol; and their conscience, being weak, is defiled. Food will not commend us to God. We are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do. Only take care lest this liberty of yours somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. For if any one sees you, a man of knowledge, at table in an idol's temple, might he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? And so by your knowledge this weak man is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. Thus, sinning against your brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore, if food is a cause of my brother's falling, I will never eat meat, lest I cause my brother to fall.

 How this applies in your case is that as Christians you have the liberty to choose any fashion you wish that is not sinful. Thus, you can choose piercings or not. But, for Jack, you personal choices applied to him, which you have no right to do, may cause him to stumble.

One cannot "demand" respect, we must command it. That means we must earn it. We will not get respect if we demand it.

I suggest you greet Jack with the love of Christ and have a good family Christmas. If you insist upon this, it will not only cause hard feelings on a day that we are suppose to be honoring the birth of our Lord, but you may discourage Jack from being a Christian.

In Essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity"
— St. Augustine

This fashion thing is a non-essential. While Jack is doing something that you do not like, you need to give Jack respect as he is doing nothing wrong (assuming none of this is immodest or blasphemous). Show him the respect of the love of Christ.

God Bless,
Bro. Ignatius Mary